(no subject)
im sick and i have nothing else to do than post to livejournal.
so, for once-this is how i feel:
i feel: well i can't exactly say lost becuase it jsut isn't the right word. i feel mixed up into an odd stream of emotions. ii feel like 9 out of the 10 relationships i have (as far as friends or whatever) are halfass, or lacking mutuality.
maybe that statement above was wrong. its not so much that i have a bunch of shitty reationships, cuz my friends really are awsome. im just not super close wiht anybody right now-and that goes for friends and guys. Yes, Shelby would be considered my best friend, but she is caught up in her own life(as i am in mine i guess). And yes i jsut met Fabian(well actually ive known him for a while but we jsut started talking) but something is missing. i miss that feeling of being close with somebody. Somebody outside of my immediate family. i have grown extremely close wiht my family and my cousins in the fast few months, and i love this because, to me- family is the most importnat thign in life. my family has proven to be more comforting and supportive in my life than any best friend or guy is right now. i just can't wait to feel that heart throbbing, dying to talk to that person, happiness, and love that i once felt again.
im ready to meet that person that makes me fall head over heels. dizzy, and drunk wiht happiness. warm and excited. im ready to be truly inspired by sombodies presence. to be captivated by that of another's words and actions towards me.
im in full acceptance mode. = )
so, for once-this is how i feel:
i feel: well i can't exactly say lost becuase it jsut isn't the right word. i feel mixed up into an odd stream of emotions. ii feel like 9 out of the 10 relationships i have (as far as friends or whatever) are halfass, or lacking mutuality.
maybe that statement above was wrong. its not so much that i have a bunch of shitty reationships, cuz my friends really are awsome. im just not super close wiht anybody right now-and that goes for friends and guys. Yes, Shelby would be considered my best friend, but she is caught up in her own life(as i am in mine i guess). And yes i jsut met Fabian(well actually ive known him for a while but we jsut started talking) but something is missing. i miss that feeling of being close with somebody. Somebody outside of my immediate family. i have grown extremely close wiht my family and my cousins in the fast few months, and i love this because, to me- family is the most importnat thign in life. my family has proven to be more comforting and supportive in my life than any best friend or guy is right now. i just can't wait to feel that heart throbbing, dying to talk to that person, happiness, and love that i once felt again.
im ready to meet that person that makes me fall head over heels. dizzy, and drunk wiht happiness. warm and excited. im ready to be truly inspired by sombodies presence. to be captivated by that of another's words and actions towards me.
im in full acceptance mode. = )