1 Day, 1 Letter
Dear Best Friend,
You aren't actually one person. You never have been. Even in second grade, when all the little girls were pairing off and holding hands and forming secret worlds, I was arguing politics and playing spy with a handful of boys on the playground. And intellectually (and, yeah, most of the time, emotionally), I know I'm incredibly blessed to have the opportunity to experience multiple rich, beautiful friend groups, and I know it's way safer to have lots of friends than only one, but...I've always wondered what it's like for someone I like the best to like me the very best, to be the favourite. And there's a part of me that sees people that have one best friend, and mourns that I never will, at least not platonically. (Because, let's face it, at this age...well, no one makes new very best friends. Everyone's looking for lovers, and the lovers will always come first. Of course, someday, I'll find some guy who likes me the very best, and I'll like him the very best, and worlds will collide.)
But though you aren't a single person...you certainly aren't lost. You're a few gorgeous, passionate women, and I would wager my horse and my kingdom that we're closer and more pure of intention than nearly any two-person best friendship you'll find. I love you so very, very much, and even though life is funny, and keeps twisting and turning to keep us further and further apart, I always will. I will always be there, even if I don't understand you, even if it means flying halfway across the world at the last minute. (And, well, let's be honest, it might!) I love your roots. I love that you don't begrudge me my wings. We're so stinkin' different in so many ways, but we're so very much the same, and I'm so blessed to have found people who share pieces of my soul.
The only thing I would change, if I were to change anything at all, is...I always feel like I'm the one reaching out, or at least, that I do the vast majority of the reaching. I know the fact that I don't live where you live means I can't always be there for you when you need me, means that I'm not always nearby for the thousand little things that are part of making a life together, and I'm sorry that I fail you in that sense. But even when I am there...so much of the time, I'm the one trying to put one-on-one plans together, trying to wedge myself back into your worlds. And sometimes it makes me wonder if you want me there at all. But then, quality time is very much my love language, so I always seem to need more of it than everyone else does; maybe it isn't that you don't want to reach out to me, but simply that I always need to see you before you need to see me. That's what I choose to believe, anyway, because I know you love me; we all just have different ways of showing it.
I miss you so much.
Love,
Lusie
You aren't actually one person. You never have been. Even in second grade, when all the little girls were pairing off and holding hands and forming secret worlds, I was arguing politics and playing spy with a handful of boys on the playground. And intellectually (and, yeah, most of the time, emotionally), I know I'm incredibly blessed to have the opportunity to experience multiple rich, beautiful friend groups, and I know it's way safer to have lots of friends than only one, but...I've always wondered what it's like for someone I like the best to like me the very best, to be the favourite. And there's a part of me that sees people that have one best friend, and mourns that I never will, at least not platonically. (Because, let's face it, at this age...well, no one makes new very best friends. Everyone's looking for lovers, and the lovers will always come first. Of course, someday, I'll find some guy who likes me the very best, and I'll like him the very best, and worlds will collide.)
But though you aren't a single person...you certainly aren't lost. You're a few gorgeous, passionate women, and I would wager my horse and my kingdom that we're closer and more pure of intention than nearly any two-person best friendship you'll find. I love you so very, very much, and even though life is funny, and keeps twisting and turning to keep us further and further apart, I always will. I will always be there, even if I don't understand you, even if it means flying halfway across the world at the last minute. (And, well, let's be honest, it might!) I love your roots. I love that you don't begrudge me my wings. We're so stinkin' different in so many ways, but we're so very much the same, and I'm so blessed to have found people who share pieces of my soul.
The only thing I would change, if I were to change anything at all, is...I always feel like I'm the one reaching out, or at least, that I do the vast majority of the reaching. I know the fact that I don't live where you live means I can't always be there for you when you need me, means that I'm not always nearby for the thousand little things that are part of making a life together, and I'm sorry that I fail you in that sense. But even when I am there...so much of the time, I'm the one trying to put one-on-one plans together, trying to wedge myself back into your worlds. And sometimes it makes me wonder if you want me there at all. But then, quality time is very much my love language, so I always seem to need more of it than everyone else does; maybe it isn't that you don't want to reach out to me, but simply that I always need to see you before you need to see me. That's what I choose to believe, anyway, because I know you love me; we all just have different ways of showing it.
I miss you so much.
Love,
Lusie