(no subject)
I love my friends. I do. They're beautiful, magical people I am beyond blessed to know...but my love language is quality time, and I never see any of them anymore, since we all live different places, are travelling for work, etc. Skype is...not really comparable to actually hanging out, but it's a pretty okay cheap substitution, but even that never happens unless I'm on top of figuring out everyone's schedules and making it work. And it isn't that I think I'm not loved, there are letters and texts and little surprises, intellectually I know they love me and I'm super blessed to have them and that those are their ways of showing that, but never talking face to face or voice to voice unless I chase them down to initiate and schedule it makes me not feel very loved, it makes me feel like a chore. And while usually I'm good at having a sit-down with myself and saying "no, you know they care because of xyz, just because they aren't calling or whatever doesn't mean they don't love you, maybe instead of being a pain in the ass you should think of something you can do for them in their love language," on nights like tonight I'm just fucking lonely.