Confused and long - sorry
I just don't understand. When Mike and I broke up, I felt such a surge of freedom. Finally, I was no longer restrained by what I was trying to force myself to feel. For the first time in a long time, I felt that I was being true to myself, true to my feelings. So why am I so miserable now?
Mike is hands-down the perfect guy. I realize that. He loved me whole-heartedly and treated me amazingly well. Mike is everything I always said I wanted in a guy. I have no clue why I didn't have feelings for him, though. I guess it's one of those unexplained things that will be solved later in life.
But what hurts so badly now is feeling so incredibly alone. When you date someone, you talk to them all the time. When that person is also your best friend, you get incredibly used to that confidant. Now I feel like there is no one to turn to. I am down a lot. It was easy to hide all of this when I was up at school because I had people to call and hang out with. But now that I'm at home, the loneliness has become rampant. I miss Mike terribly. He was my best and closest friend. Now, when I hear from him like once in a blue moon, he's so distant and so not wanting to talk to me. I know that it's best for him for me to keep my distance, but this hurts a lot. Breaking up is never easy, I know that, too, but it still doesn't mean that you get used to the pain.
Mike is hands-down the perfect guy. I realize that. He loved me whole-heartedly and treated me amazingly well. Mike is everything I always said I wanted in a guy. I have no clue why I didn't have feelings for him, though. I guess it's one of those unexplained things that will be solved later in life.
But what hurts so badly now is feeling so incredibly alone. When you date someone, you talk to them all the time. When that person is also your best friend, you get incredibly used to that confidant. Now I feel like there is no one to turn to. I am down a lot. It was easy to hide all of this when I was up at school because I had people to call and hang out with. But now that I'm at home, the loneliness has become rampant. I miss Mike terribly. He was my best and closest friend. Now, when I hear from him like once in a blue moon, he's so distant and so not wanting to talk to me. I know that it's best for him for me to keep my distance, but this hurts a lot. Breaking up is never easy, I know that, too, but it still doesn't mean that you get used to the pain.