.Inside the mind of a Suicide attempt.
hm.. Today was alright.. I guess.. woke up got online, read Danielle's Journal and commented in it about some things that were going on. We talked and what not.. I think it's somewhat getting Better.. I'm suppose to hang out with her tommorrow, hopefully I can.. I miss hangin out with her.. Yeah.. I really want to talk to Raisa and get things cleared up. Me Danielle and Raisa need to hang out.. I really miss that.. hmm then after Danielle and I talked I went in my room to think for a bit.. didn't get too much done cause I don't know.. So many things I shouldn't have been thinking poped in my head. I can't think about those things anymore.. But yet I brought myself to it.. So after I went in my room I came back out and then talked to Danielle for acouple more minutes and then went and took a shower.. then I had to go to winn-dixie to go grocery bagging. I drove to Jasmines and yeah On the way back I was taking a braclet off my wrist and yeah She said something and my dad looked at me but I don't think he suspects something.. But then again I don't know. So me and Jas were bagging groceries and two chicks decided to start talkin smack when they were right by us, so yeah was funny Jasmine was like Yeah I need to be thinking about something else cause I have war tactics going through my head.. or something Like that I was rollin it was funny, yeah so I was like yeah might be the next World War III or something she was like the next WW25 I was like that's great, so yeah then after that we came and chilled at my place and watched the 6th sense, and me and Jas were like ontop of each other. we were scared to death heh yeah the she was playing with my shrimpies and then her daddy came and got her. Now I'm here talking to Michael [JC] and thinking.. I'm glad I'm getting to talk to him.. I havent since wednesday.. and yeah was getting worried, and missed him alot.. I'm happy when I talk to him.. I think our sitch is still pretty much the same, we have our bad days and our good days.. I hope we have more good days, it kills me when I see him down.. I hate when he is sad or depressed.. buit then again, we bioth are usually depressed on the same days for similar reasons.. or depressd on same days from totally oposite things.. I think From our seperation we really have learned alot more about the other, for instance, we both keep things to ourselfs, we arn't all that open about things. it can be a bad thing and a good one seldomly.. I hate being apart from him and he knows that.. But I can wait.. I may not have patients but I would rather wait and not loose him period.. I Love Him very much and he knows that, he is one of my very close friends and I hope we can be more than that one day.... But Yeah.. I really hope I get a chance to talk to Raisa tonight, I think I really need to appologize to her for being somewhat of a bitch and tell her it isn't her It's mainly me.. Uhg! need to talk to her.. Anyways, I'm done for the night I'll write if Anything crosses the mind. Goodnight..
<33Rebekah
"She"
She looks back at me,
Her face pale and white,
Her hair hangs wildly,
And her eyes look sad and tight.
If she dies tomorrow, next week or today,
Theres things she will regret,
And things that she should say.
Shes not afaraid to die,
But theres things she should of said,
But she didn't know how to voice them,
So she kept them in her head.
So if she never sees you,
She wants you to know,
You'll be in her heart,
Where ever she may go.
She looks into my eyes,
This girl who i call 'she,'
A tear falls down her cheek,
It's so easy to forget that this girl is really me.