where is the future?
I keep telling myself that I’m working towards a goal, that I’ll be happy once I reach it. Not that I’m not happy now. I just feel rushed. It’s like making the most of “the moment” can only make me happy in that one moment and will hinder my happiness in the future... but how can I decide if instant but fleeting happiness is less satisfying then the happiness I keep reaching for but can’t see yet? I tell myself that feeling rushed and not having time to connect with my friends that way I would like to is a choice I have to make in order for me to have time for them in the future. But when the hell will it be the future? I’m afraid that I’m working towards something that doesn’t exist and that I will never be able to accomplish...
On top of that, I feel like the things that I most want to do, and the friends that are dearest to me have just been put on hold... why is it that you’re closest friends are the once you loose? When you start to get busy they are the once that understand the best so they end up getting the worst deal just because they will understand and still love you but then a year passes and you haven’t seen them and you’ve had almost no contact with them, but you still consider them to be the best friends you’ve ever had..
I’m in a weird mood...
I miss Sarah, Lynne, the Mannings, Rory, Liam, the Lakes, Russo, Palu, and Kate.
Not that that’s an abnormal state for me to be in but It’s just bothering me a lot right now...
I just want to quite everything that I’m doing and hitch hike around and spend time with people. Real time, uninterrupted, open honest time. I want you all to know that even if I don’t make time for you I do love you and value you more then you know.
On top of that, I feel like the things that I most want to do, and the friends that are dearest to me have just been put on hold... why is it that you’re closest friends are the once you loose? When you start to get busy they are the once that understand the best so they end up getting the worst deal just because they will understand and still love you but then a year passes and you haven’t seen them and you’ve had almost no contact with them, but you still consider them to be the best friends you’ve ever had..
I’m in a weird mood...
I miss Sarah, Lynne, the Mannings, Rory, Liam, the Lakes, Russo, Palu, and Kate.
Not that that’s an abnormal state for me to be in but It’s just bothering me a lot right now...
I just want to quite everything that I’m doing and hitch hike around and spend time with people. Real time, uninterrupted, open honest time. I want you all to know that even if I don’t make time for you I do love you and value you more then you know.