strange and beautiful
i dont understand what i feel anymore. pain, stress, loneliness, interest, devotion, helplessness, confinement.
this time, its really gone. and i dont know what to think about that.
nothing ends up the way that i think it will. i certainly didnt expect for things to dissolve into this. we're better than this. we're smarter than this. we have too much fucking history for this to end this way.
i dont even want to think about whats unseen to me. i realize that i've lost this battle, but it still hurts.
i guess i really should just give up. is that what you want?
you were the topic of discussion at lunch today. it was interesting hearing my family tell me how much they love you. you're all they ever want to talk about, and i cant even talk to you. i wish i could talk to you.
just know that im trying.
this time, its really gone. and i dont know what to think about that.
nothing ends up the way that i think it will. i certainly didnt expect for things to dissolve into this. we're better than this. we're smarter than this. we have too much fucking history for this to end this way.
i dont even want to think about whats unseen to me. i realize that i've lost this battle, but it still hurts.
i guess i really should just give up. is that what you want?
you were the topic of discussion at lunch today. it was interesting hearing my family tell me how much they love you. you're all they ever want to talk about, and i cant even talk to you. i wish i could talk to you.
just know that im trying.