Weddings made of Win
I give up. I'm not going to be able to really process the divasm wedding stuff all in one go. I'd have to be more articulate than I seem to be this week. So here's the highlights version.
Heading south, and being scared I'd be late, and praying and pushing with all my travel magic, and hope.
"I'm supposed to be there by 5:30. Lady, I want to be there by 5:00."
And I'm aiming for 4:30. You'll get there in plenty of time.
"Hmm, 17 is pretty clear, let's take it all the way to 1 then. Crap! 1 is slooooow! I'm doomed!"
Relax. It's only like this for a few miles, and then it's clear the rest of the way.
"Yeah, right, how would I know anything about traffic patterns in this area? I'm just telling myself that. I'm imagining you talking to me because it's what I want to believe. Tell you what, if it's really you and I get there by 5pm I'll give you.... um... White wine and Strawberries!"
*laugh* You know you don't have to do that. This is my work, whether your sister asked for me or not. You WILL be there in time, strawberries or no.
"Well, I was thinking I'd give them to you at the next devotional."
Ah, well, make it Cider then, and you're on.
Sure enough, the traffic cleared after a few miles, and it was clear the rest of the way. And I got there just before 5pm, and it was plenty of time. But here's the kicker: At the rehearsal dinner reception, they served various wines, including white wine - hardly surprising - and strawberry shortcake for dessert! So She (and the local landwights) got a cup full of wite wine with strawberries after all!
The day before we left I was antsy. Verbal, emotional, even occasionally physical pacing. I told a friend that I was smart enough to ask Nithogg, who has done this all before, to be my designated support because he's the only one who will be there that I trust enough who doesn't have something else he's obliged to do for the Bride or other family members. That friend said, "Ahh. He'll be your gopher." At the time I thought "No, I want him to hang out NEAR me, to help me stay grounded." but said friend is smarter (read: more experienced) than I am. Nithogg was indeed my gopher, and as pleasant a gopher as any girl could possibly want. He even drove back into Monterey a second time to get Starbucks for my sister when she saw the cup in my hand!
I designed my necklace to follow the theme of the necklace I instinctively wanted to wear, but thought was inappropriate, while suiting the style of the necklaces my sister had made for her bridesmaids. It wasn't until I got there and once again felt like I should have brought the amber necklace that Freya pointed out it's not only Her necklace for me, it's my priestess necklace working for Her. I had been telling myself that my sister and her fiance didn't ask for a Freya priestess, and thus I was acting in my capacity as a Child of the Universe - like any other child, just one willing to do the work that my sister knows, loves, and trusts. Freya told me in a way I finally understood, that whether I am invoking Her on the outside as a Goddess of whatever the other person is asking for, I am always invoking Her on the inside as a Goddess of Priestessing. It is the work itself that belongs to Her, not just the reason for the work at any given time. So my Sister's wedding may belong to the Universe, but my performing a wedding is under Freya's guidance - and as such I have every right and reason to wear Her necklace and recieve Her support.
Lacking that, I found myself singing Her song to myself whenever I need to calm down, and then being a bit confused when it didn't have either the effect I was looking for, nor either of the effects I was used to. Muddled context. Oy!
So I mentally surfed for a song that suited my immediate needs better, and recalled a song introduced to me by deirdremoon: "The earth, the air, the fire, the water - return return return return". It was short, sweet, and focused. Whenever I started to stress, I sang that to myself - sometimes out loud.
The ceremony itself went perfectly. Before it began I walked down and stood at the back, preparing myself to prepare the space as I walked. I remembered at the last moment to discard my shoes. I stood there meditating, eyes closed. The photographer caught me praying and took a few photos of me, with the sunlit water behind me. He was extremely pleased with himself, and I was myself pleased that what I was doing was at all recogniseable to someone outside my tradition.
As I walked I carried space with me. I stood at the front, and took a moment to raise my face to the sky - partially because I needed to do it, and partially to cue the rest of the audience to focus for a moment on the spiritual significance of the day without actually verbally telling them what they should think that significance was.
Then I turned around and it was time for the rest of the procession.
When my sister came down the aisle, she was radiant, absoloutely gorgeous, and incredibly nervous. Once she stood there, across from her groom, who was also radiant and nervous, I thought to myself "Well, here we go!" I looked at each of them, grinned, and took a very deliberate deep breath, cueing them to do this same.
And then I started reading. Loud, low, clear, and calm. When I wanted to be heard by everyone, everyone heard me. When I was speaking directly to the bride or groom, I was a bit quieter, but enough that everyone could tell what was going on. When the bride and groom spoke it was loud, clear, and firm, if a bit high. For what may be the first time in my family's life, they heard me speaking loud, low, and firm, and my sister speaking nervously in a higher pitch. She was the pretty one. I was the responsible one. And the incredibly introverted groom could be heard clearly by all present as he declared openly his devotion to my sister. We floored them!
I do wish I'd had a small altar - just a place to put things down gracefully when I needed more hands would have been nice.
When the ceremony was over, I sang The Water Is Wide, and encouraged everyone to leave so I could take the space down properly when it was over.
The first to compliment me was my Dad's favorite Neo-Shamanic UCC Priestess. I think she had been listening to my Dad's concerns about my competency, and seeing how nervous I was, and was offerring all the support I could want (but had already arranged to recieve from Nithogg). She said I did a beautiful job, and I was well pleased with her approval.
And then the family started in. They were not only impressed, I got the impression they were surprised. Several people said wistfully that they wished I'd been around when they got married - the ceremony was lovely and I performed it beautifully. I jokingly commented that it's never too late to renew your vows - I really hope they don't follow up on that one.
My sister's employees were excited to see me again. They must have a very strange, inflated idea of who and what I am. So far they've met me twice: Once when I gave them all henna designs and tarot readings, and last Saturday when I performed my sister's wedding.
But the best compliment by far was from my Grandma E - my Mom karyljan's mother. She said she believes I have found my calling.
Now, that side of my family has a particular way of viewing religion. Your path is your own, as long as you take it seriously. Be sincere, and honest with yourself and whatever powers you find. Anything less than your best is a waste of your time and everyone else's. My Grandma's first husband was the kind of Unitarian who was socially involved, and inclined to intellectual debate. I think he was vehemently agnostic, but I'm not sure. Grandma has always been very private about her own beliefs - not because they shouldn't be shared, but because she felt she was never done evolving them, and thus was never prepared to make any kind of difinitive statement. I think she has had a kind of low-grade concern that all this paganism on my part was a phase, experimentation, or in some other way frivolous fantasy on my part. Not because she thinks Pagans can't be serious, but because it's always a bit difficult to really understand how somebody else can be serious about something you don't yourself grok. So for her to see my work and tell me she believes it's my calling is really really saying something.
My sister is delighted. Everyone loved the ceremony and many people asked to recieve copies of it (I told them that was up to the bride and groom, and my mentor dpaxson who gave me the scripts from which the ceremony was derived).
I did it. I did it well. I did it right.
--Ember--
Heading south, and being scared I'd be late, and praying and pushing with all my travel magic, and hope.
"I'm supposed to be there by 5:30. Lady, I want to be there by 5:00."
And I'm aiming for 4:30. You'll get there in plenty of time.
"Hmm, 17 is pretty clear, let's take it all the way to 1 then. Crap! 1 is slooooow! I'm doomed!"
Relax. It's only like this for a few miles, and then it's clear the rest of the way.
"Yeah, right, how would I know anything about traffic patterns in this area? I'm just telling myself that. I'm imagining you talking to me because it's what I want to believe. Tell you what, if it's really you and I get there by 5pm I'll give you.... um... White wine and Strawberries!"
*laugh* You know you don't have to do that. This is my work, whether your sister asked for me or not. You WILL be there in time, strawberries or no.
"Well, I was thinking I'd give them to you at the next devotional."
Ah, well, make it Cider then, and you're on.
Sure enough, the traffic cleared after a few miles, and it was clear the rest of the way. And I got there just before 5pm, and it was plenty of time. But here's the kicker: At the rehearsal dinner reception, they served various wines, including white wine - hardly surprising - and strawberry shortcake for dessert! So She (and the local landwights) got a cup full of wite wine with strawberries after all!
The day before we left I was antsy. Verbal, emotional, even occasionally physical pacing. I told a friend that I was smart enough to ask Nithogg, who has done this all before, to be my designated support because he's the only one who will be there that I trust enough who doesn't have something else he's obliged to do for the Bride or other family members. That friend said, "Ahh. He'll be your gopher." At the time I thought "No, I want him to hang out NEAR me, to help me stay grounded." but said friend is smarter (read: more experienced) than I am. Nithogg was indeed my gopher, and as pleasant a gopher as any girl could possibly want. He even drove back into Monterey a second time to get Starbucks for my sister when she saw the cup in my hand!
I designed my necklace to follow the theme of the necklace I instinctively wanted to wear, but thought was inappropriate, while suiting the style of the necklaces my sister had made for her bridesmaids. It wasn't until I got there and once again felt like I should have brought the amber necklace that Freya pointed out it's not only Her necklace for me, it's my priestess necklace working for Her. I had been telling myself that my sister and her fiance didn't ask for a Freya priestess, and thus I was acting in my capacity as a Child of the Universe - like any other child, just one willing to do the work that my sister knows, loves, and trusts. Freya told me in a way I finally understood, that whether I am invoking Her on the outside as a Goddess of whatever the other person is asking for, I am always invoking Her on the inside as a Goddess of Priestessing. It is the work itself that belongs to Her, not just the reason for the work at any given time. So my Sister's wedding may belong to the Universe, but my performing a wedding is under Freya's guidance - and as such I have every right and reason to wear Her necklace and recieve Her support.
Lacking that, I found myself singing Her song to myself whenever I need to calm down, and then being a bit confused when it didn't have either the effect I was looking for, nor either of the effects I was used to. Muddled context. Oy!
So I mentally surfed for a song that suited my immediate needs better, and recalled a song introduced to me by deirdremoon: "The earth, the air, the fire, the water - return return return return". It was short, sweet, and focused. Whenever I started to stress, I sang that to myself - sometimes out loud.
The ceremony itself went perfectly. Before it began I walked down and stood at the back, preparing myself to prepare the space as I walked. I remembered at the last moment to discard my shoes. I stood there meditating, eyes closed. The photographer caught me praying and took a few photos of me, with the sunlit water behind me. He was extremely pleased with himself, and I was myself pleased that what I was doing was at all recogniseable to someone outside my tradition.
As I walked I carried space with me. I stood at the front, and took a moment to raise my face to the sky - partially because I needed to do it, and partially to cue the rest of the audience to focus for a moment on the spiritual significance of the day without actually verbally telling them what they should think that significance was.
Then I turned around and it was time for the rest of the procession.
When my sister came down the aisle, she was radiant, absoloutely gorgeous, and incredibly nervous. Once she stood there, across from her groom, who was also radiant and nervous, I thought to myself "Well, here we go!" I looked at each of them, grinned, and took a very deliberate deep breath, cueing them to do this same.
And then I started reading. Loud, low, clear, and calm. When I wanted to be heard by everyone, everyone heard me. When I was speaking directly to the bride or groom, I was a bit quieter, but enough that everyone could tell what was going on. When the bride and groom spoke it was loud, clear, and firm, if a bit high. For what may be the first time in my family's life, they heard me speaking loud, low, and firm, and my sister speaking nervously in a higher pitch. She was the pretty one. I was the responsible one. And the incredibly introverted groom could be heard clearly by all present as he declared openly his devotion to my sister. We floored them!
I do wish I'd had a small altar - just a place to put things down gracefully when I needed more hands would have been nice.
When the ceremony was over, I sang The Water Is Wide, and encouraged everyone to leave so I could take the space down properly when it was over.
The first to compliment me was my Dad's favorite Neo-Shamanic UCC Priestess. I think she had been listening to my Dad's concerns about my competency, and seeing how nervous I was, and was offerring all the support I could want (but had already arranged to recieve from Nithogg). She said I did a beautiful job, and I was well pleased with her approval.
And then the family started in. They were not only impressed, I got the impression they were surprised. Several people said wistfully that they wished I'd been around when they got married - the ceremony was lovely and I performed it beautifully. I jokingly commented that it's never too late to renew your vows - I really hope they don't follow up on that one.
My sister's employees were excited to see me again. They must have a very strange, inflated idea of who and what I am. So far they've met me twice: Once when I gave them all henna designs and tarot readings, and last Saturday when I performed my sister's wedding.
But the best compliment by far was from my Grandma E - my Mom karyljan's mother. She said she believes I have found my calling.
Now, that side of my family has a particular way of viewing religion. Your path is your own, as long as you take it seriously. Be sincere, and honest with yourself and whatever powers you find. Anything less than your best is a waste of your time and everyone else's. My Grandma's first husband was the kind of Unitarian who was socially involved, and inclined to intellectual debate. I think he was vehemently agnostic, but I'm not sure. Grandma has always been very private about her own beliefs - not because they shouldn't be shared, but because she felt she was never done evolving them, and thus was never prepared to make any kind of difinitive statement. I think she has had a kind of low-grade concern that all this paganism on my part was a phase, experimentation, or in some other way frivolous fantasy on my part. Not because she thinks Pagans can't be serious, but because it's always a bit difficult to really understand how somebody else can be serious about something you don't yourself grok. So for her to see my work and tell me she believes it's my calling is really really saying something.
My sister is delighted. Everyone loved the ceremony and many people asked to recieve copies of it (I told them that was up to the bride and groom, and my mentor dpaxson who gave me the scripts from which the ceremony was derived).
I did it. I did it well. I did it right.
--Ember--