On Pain, Punishment and Perverse Incentives
I am not a brat.
I tend to keep my submissive streak rather quiet. Partly because it's very very rare that it comes out. I have gone most of thirty years and only been submissive for a few days of that, at most. Partly because I see the lack of respect towards submissives in certain parts of the kink scene and perhaps a bit selfishly, to avoid ( Read more... )
The 'bad' sort of bratishness you describe, where it's really topping from the bottom, is I think a sign of poor negotiation and communication as it's something that should come up in discussion after the first time or too it happens if either party doesn't like it (not judging mind - I've done some shabby negotiation in my time!).
I'm not bratty as a rule, but sometimes it comes up in me if, as you say, I need to negotiate for more in a scene. Usually it involves me being dismissive of how much pain I'm in in a 'come and have a go if you think...' kind of way. I'd want to talk it over after the scene, and I'd hope the top would 'orange' if they weren't comfortable with it. Once I've become submissive again it's a good sign I'm *really* in pain now ;)
Someone I'm currently playing with is totally allergic to topping from the bottom, which has got me thinking about it more. I don't think I top from the bottom in scene, but I do sometimes encourage toppy behaviour between dates in a way that X doesn't take to. But for plenty of others, this gives them the confidence to up the pace a bit. So I assume X doesn't lack in confidence already ;)
Re: I want to see you suffer be good and take it: Oh yes indeedy!
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