Bicon Follow-Up 3 - SM/Breathplay, with link to Jay Wiseman's Essays
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Post SM for SMers session discussion on Breathplay (or 'erotic asphyxiation')-
This topic was apparently of interest to several people, so I 've taken the time to hunt down the links I didn't have to hand on the afternoon, and write down a few of the suggestions I had for where potential breath-players might move to instead..
I mentioned Jay Wiseman's dire warnings about this topic, which can be found at the link below. It's a lot of writing, but when you're playing with the life of someone you care about - or in fact anyone at all, if you want to avoid a murder/manslaughter charge should things go wrong - it's criminally stupid not to be as informed as possible and I will capitalise the next bit because it's important: CONSENT IS NOT A VALID LEGAL DEFENSE IF THINGS GO WRONG. If you or your partner aren't willing to read about and understand the risks fully, simply don't do it at all. Bad breath play risks LIVES.
(After understanding the risks fully you may not want to anyway - this is serious stuff, and even scenes where things don't go obviously wrong can result in cumulative brain damage. That is, the more times you do it, the more of your brain you lose.)
http://www.jaywiseman.com/SEX_BDSM_BreathPlayMain.html - Seriously. Read it.
[Update, July 2015: Mr Wiseman's site seems to be broken, but you can find the same set of resources archived at http://www.leathernroses.com/generalbdsm/wisemanbreathcontrolintro.htm and also a video summary at https://vimeo.com/29696495 ]
However... there are things that I would class as 'breath play' which Mr Wiseman doesn't talk about, and I would consider to be relatively safe, even having read and fully understood these warnings. Also, importantly, these exercises are unlikely to land you with a murder charge if things do go wrong. These are:
Instructional breath play -
Breath exercises such as one might do with a singing teacher - counted breaths, diaphragm exercises, and others that increase rather than decrease the amount of air going into the lungs.
Instructed deep breathing
Tantric breath exercises such as 'circular breathing' in which one partner breathes in at the same time as the other breathes out (at a small distance apart).
These exercises are psychologically very intense, without necessarily having damaging effects (traditionally these are all assumed to be therapeutic). The idea is to use the breath as a point of focus, rather than to restrict it.
(NOTE: hyperventilation is not without risks either, including alkalinization of the blood . None of these activities should be performed for extended lengths of time without being aware of these risks. Ask someone with medical training if you want to be sure.)
Physical 'safer' breath play
Kissing and instructing a partner to 'breathe through you' (the top continues to breathe in through their nose) - sounds bizarre, but is relatively safe for both parties and a VERY heady sensation. This does cut down on oxygen levels to some degree, so again, this is NOT completely safe, merely safer.
External breath control: In her book 'Radical Ecstasy' Dossie Easton describes a technique used by masseuses to encourage breathing deeply and regularly, simply by laying a hand gently on the belly of the other person, just above the navel, and moving it up and down - the instinct is to naturally follow the hand, so hand movements automatically control the pace of breathing. Subtle, but effective. Note this is not about crushing the chest in any way. Movements are gentle and slow, and the aim is to increase empathy, not to exert will with great force. The effect should be more psychological than physical.
Things I will NOT do, as a top:
I will not perform any sort of breath play where my partner cannot pull back and control their own breathing - no gas masks, no bags, no cling film, no masks without airholes, and if a hand goes over a mouth it will be loosely so that my partner can breathe normally when they need to.
I will not put pressure on the neck in such a way that either the windpipe, or the major arteries to the brain will be affected (in other words, I will not put pressure on the neck).
I will not put myself, or my partners knowingly at risk of brain damage or heart attack.
A few alternative types of play that give a sensation of being not in control: immobilization/bondage, particularly of the head, mummification (without covering the airways, obviously!), fear play (knives, needles, heights, any other sort of phobia used under controlled conditions), sensory deprivation.
Questions, suggestions and constructive technical criticism welcomed.
x
Play safe, folks.
[Additional update, July 2015: In case anyone has stumbled across this post whilst looking for tips on how to safely experiment with solo breath play (otherwise known as auto-erotic asphyxiation), the answer is quite honestly "you can't." Sorry. If you don't have a romantic partner and are determined to engage in any sort of breath play, even including the things I have listed as 'safer' in this post, you might want to consider finding a friend who is willing to 'spot' for you, who will be present in the room to provide first aid or call an ambulance in case things go wrong. Even with something as simple as unassisted breath-holding or tantric breathing, the risk of things going badly wrong goes up exponentially without at least a 'spotter' present. My personal position on solo breath play is PLEASE DON'T. There is no way to experiment safely with erotic asphyxiation on your own.]