Bisexuality & statistics: Twice as many dates?

[emanix]

[Edit, 8th of October 2015: I reworked this essay into an illustrated 'comic' format, which you can check out below the original text!]

I've seen it in all sorts of places, the assumption that bisexuality has to mean that a person is equally attracted to both sexes, not notice the difference between, and so forth... Marcus Morgan has a lovely

Comments

[softfruit]

I've done this exact same maths rant and even delivered it (calmly!) in workshops at LGBT spaces.

There is a certain wiggle room in that e.g. if you mostly socialise in gay spaces or have a social network that is not a random cross-section of the wider public, you may increase your girl numbers.

The counterweight to that is the tendency for mixed-sex relationships to be more socially rewarded, which is diminishing but still there.

[softfruit]

Damnit, there's always "and another thing" with my LJ comments.

Mixed-gender flirting is generally safer than same-sex for boys, while for girls there is often a higher level of acceptable social intimacy leading to "is she just being friendly" questions: both of which make making the first move more tricky and so skew things further toward mixed gender outcomes.

[emanix]

Yup, not to mentin the 'lesbian sheep' phenomenon, which a friend as pointed out to me may skew the numbers even more for most women (I am a terrible flirt with *everybody*, so I'm probably exempt from this, however) - I may well make a separate journal post about that.

We were JUST talking about this on Wednesday after the poly discussion group..

[zaiah]

And then there is also the antipathy from the lesbian community towards bisexual women who can/do 'pass' - and have that advantage they have eschewed and think other people should to. or even the rare 'I don't want to be where any man has been' negativity.

Re: We were JUST talking about this on Wednesday after the poly discussion group..

[emanix]

Hm, yes, that too. My experiences socialising with monosexual lesbian-identified women have not been brilliant so far. Seems veganism, cat-collecting, homeopathy/naturopathy and howling at the moon are non negotiable requirements, at least in London.

Not that I every bother about trying to 'pass' but the mere fact that I'm not going out of my way to look like I'm into women (whatever the hell that looks like anyway) seems to be a problem for certain people. I look too normal or something...

[conflux]

Yes I was going to make the point that if you hang out in a mostly bi social group of friends then the odds are dramatically improved. Oddly most of the women I have been out with have been bi and this was happening before I started hanging out in a mostly bi social group. Maybe it was something about living in Cambridge and then Oxford?