a wild and distant shore
Got the new job as a pharmacy tech. Am not super thrilled. I don't know what I'm doing, I get yelled at for screwing up on an hourly basis and just feel in the way. To make matters worse, I haven't even gotten my raise yet. So basically, I can't afford food or anything - let alone new clothes for this job. And I feel like a GIANT loser for not knowing it all yet. Nobody there is really nice, they're all scary and cliquey. I HATE IT.
But I have no choice...or do I? Do I still keep looking for the elusive full time job? Would it be bad form to quit this crap one when I find a new and better one? I just don't realy WANT to do this job. I don't understand any of it and feel so alone. I was miserable before and now I feel like a traitor for leaving my previous dept. WHAT DO I DO?
I just keeping scanning that far away horizon, hoping to glimpse some kind of heaven on earth. I'm not getting any younger. There HAS to be something better than this town and this place. I can't afford to move anywhere anyway. I could break my lease, but go where? Work where? I just wish someone like me could advise me...someone could help me. But help is there? Man, I can't even afford groceries again this week. I'm stealing food from my parents and begging them for loans and feeling like a goddamn heel. And now I' ll have to find new insurance....help...help...help....I knew I shouldn't have posted about this. It just makes me depressed and who the hell wants to hear about that?! Apparently no one.
But I have no choice...or do I? Do I still keep looking for the elusive full time job? Would it be bad form to quit this crap one when I find a new and better one? I just don't realy WANT to do this job. I don't understand any of it and feel so alone. I was miserable before and now I feel like a traitor for leaving my previous dept. WHAT DO I DO?
I just keeping scanning that far away horizon, hoping to glimpse some kind of heaven on earth. I'm not getting any younger. There HAS to be something better than this town and this place. I can't afford to move anywhere anyway. I could break my lease, but go where? Work where? I just wish someone like me could advise me...someone could help me. But help is there? Man, I can't even afford groceries again this week. I'm stealing food from my parents and begging them for loans and feeling like a goddamn heel. And now I' ll have to find new insurance....help...help...help....I knew I shouldn't have posted about this. It just makes me depressed and who the hell wants to hear about that?! Apparently no one.