New oneshot
I've got this posted at the susancaspian community, but figured I'd put it here as well since I don't really feel it is polished enough to go up on ff.net. Rated G.
On Being Content
Steel shrieked across steel.
“You know, I don’t know why Caspian always allows Edmund to draw him into things like this,” Susan remarked to Lucy, sighing the sigh of one long suffering. “We all have to be at that Ball in under an hour and just look at them.”
The littlest Queen followed her big sister’s line of sight, to where the two figures fought back and forth across the garden. Shirtless and sweaty, both refused to give the other an inch, arms straining as they crossed blades. Edmund was not as strong as Caspian, and Caspian not as fast as Edmund, so the pair was almost equal as they shifted from lightning quick swordplay to full body wrestling with blades.
“Ha!” Edmund cried, a grunt more than a laugh as he broke free of Caspian’s hold and kicked the King in the stomach, knocking him back a step. Before Caspian could recover, Edmund had followed through, catching the older boy, man really, a sharp backhand across the face. Bloody lips mean little to one that has fought for hours with much graver wounds, so Caspian shook his head to regain his senses and flung himself forward, each furious sword stroke driving Edmund backwards this time.
“They are rather sweaty, aren’t they?” Lucy murmured, seeing Su’s frustration. Both Queens had spent the better part of the day getting ready for the event, but Su had paid the price to look the way she did. She had slept on rollers last night, ignoring her sister’s giggles, and now her hair spilled artfully down her back in large spiraling curls. The curls about her brow had been woven into a diamond studded net, an hour and a half worth of work alone. She had barely touched her food for a week so that, with the help of an extremely tight corset, she could fit into a dress with the tiniest waist imaginable. Lucy had watched the pulling and the wincing, and she still couldn’t believe that Mrs. Badger had made it fit. As pretty as she herself felt tonight, Lucy kept staring at Su, wishing that one day she would look like her even though she had proof that she would not. The older Queen was positively gorgeous, royal, regal… and understandably irritated. For Caspian was her escort, and he was bruised and bleeding and drenched in sweat, seeming to have lost track of time completely.
“Perhaps you should stop them,” Lucy suggested. Susan shook her head.
“No, it’s not my place,” she said dryly. “And as much as I wish he was ready, I refuse to babysit him.”
Clashing of swords made the passing servants pause to take notice, as now Edmund drove a spinning Caspian sideways, the pair heading straight for where the two Queens stood.
“You’re getting good,” Edmund said, ducking a blow that would have taken his head should it have landed. “Almost as good as me.” Caspian’s eyes were bright and a smile split his face at the words. In his opinion, the younger King was phenomenal.
“Are you sure I am not better?” Caspian teased as he almost sliced the other King’s stomach, cutting instead the fabric of his tunic. Edmund laughed and launched into a flurry of moves that instantly had Caspian’s sword knocked from his hand and the tip of Edmund’s at his throat, abruptly ending the match.
“Not better,” Ed chuckled as he advanced a step, enjoying watching Caspian have to shift down to his knees and bend back slightly to not catch himself on the blade. “But still, very good,”
“I take that as compliment,” Caspian replied, relaxing as Edmund dropped the stance. The Telmarine flicked his wet hair out of his eyes and stood, muscles rippling as he stretched.
“That was a good match,” Edmund acknowledged, looking up and noticing the Queens for the first time.
“Aye, although I still think that I…” Caspian’s words drifted off as he followed Edmund’s line of sight. Upon catching view of Susan, his eyes widened slightly. Edmund watched the older King flush, then let out an almost imperceptible sigh as he bowed politely to the pair.
“You two look smart,” Ed called jovially, taking a half step in front of Caspian to cover how obvious he was staring at Su. “What’s the celebration?”
“Oh Edmund, you haven’t forgotten have you?” Lucy looked distressed and stamped her little foot on the ground. Simultaneously a deep ringing filled the air as the tower bells signaled the approach of dinner.
“Oh, that bloody ball,” Edmund groaned and tried to share a look with Caspian. Caspian however seemed only to be able to share a look with Susan right now. “And I promised I’d take you, didn’t I Lu?”
Lucy might have seemed disappointed but Susan’s face had taken that slightly icy look it got when she was mad but trying hard not to be.
“Perhaps we should meet you two there?” Susan offered, and Caspian winced. He headed directly for her, grabbing up his sword from the ground and sheathing it as he did.
“You look lovely, my queen,” Caspian told her quietly, eyes drinking her in and making Susan shift beneath his gaze. “You should have an escort tonight.”
“I’m sure Peter would not mind, if you two would rather continue your games,” Susan said pointedly, still a bit miffed and Caspian once more flinched. He gave her an apologetic smile, along with the sad brown eyes that always made Susan cave. Lucy wondered if the King was doing it on purpose or if he was that naturally able to soften other’s displeasure. Perhaps years of living under Miraz’s harsh rule had honed Caspian’s social survival instincts. Whatever the case, by the time he had taken Su’s hand and kissed her knuckles, he had already won, whether he knew they were in competition or not.
“Five minutes, my lady,” he promised. “And I shall be presentable enough to be shown on any arm less lovely than your own.”
“Less than mine?” Susan’s eyebrow rose.
“Aye, for to do you justice would take more lifetimes than I have to prepare,” Caspian watched her intently and despite herself Susan sighed resignedly.
“He’s good,” Lucy muttered to her brother, who had joined her in watching the pair.
“Naw, Su’s just a sucker,” Edmund said loudly enough for them to hear. Susan turned and like the regal Queen she was, stuck her tongue out at him. Over her shoulder, Caspian grinned brightly at Edmund before smoothing his face back into a solemnly contrite expression as Susan faced him once more.
“Hurry then, Caspian,” she begged and he nodded acquiescence. Edmund had grabbed their shirts and tossed Caspian’s at him over Susan’s head. She ducked to protect her coifed curls, shooting an evil look at her brother as Caspian caught it one handed. Caspian grinned once more at Ed and Lucy as Susan practically drug him away from the gardens. As the pair disappeared into the castle, Lucy shook her head at her brother.
“You know he’s her suitor now, Edmund,” Lucy admonished. “You shouldn’t make him play with you so much.”
Edmund just shrugged and sheathed his own sword on his hip.
“I don’t make him play with me Lu, he does it because he wants to, and aren’t we a bit too old to call it playing?”
“It’s playing,” she decided with a smirk. “And if you’re going to be as smelly as this, then perhaps I should go ask Peter if he’d be my escort too.”
“And abandon me to the wiles of the court ladies? Why Lu, that’s simply cruel!” Edmund pressed his hand across his breast dramatically. Lucy leaned in and sniffed him delicately before wrinkling her nose.
“So is that.” At her words he chuckled and wrapped one sweaty arm around her neck, tugging her to his side playfully. Lucy made a gagging noise which he ignored.
“I thought you liked swordplay and didn’t mind the aftereffects,” Edmund grinned as he reminded her of her Old ways. Then he gave himself a whiff, and winced. “Ahh, but I do believe you’re right, sister dear. Perhaps I should follow in Caspian’s footsteps.”
Giggling at his dramatics, Lucy slipped her hand into his. Smelly or not, she wouldn’t miss him being her escort for the world.
------
“You could’ve stopped that in there.”
Edmund was angry with Caspian, and he didn’t have a single problem making that known. The two Kings had just emerged from council with Peter, and while Edmund had been glaring at Caspian for the last half hour straight, he had held his tongue until the two entered the relative privacy of the castle corridors.
“The High King had his mind made up,” Caspian shrugged, looking unconcerned as he walked. He was headed to the Queen’s chambers, having promised Lucy he would take her for a ride when they were done. Edmund followed, looking irate as he challenged Caspian’s logic.
“And had you spoken up, his mind might have been changed! I know you didn’t agree with him either,” Edmund accused. The older King gave him a sideways look.
“You seemed to be speaking up enough for both of us, and it did little but extend the meeting an extra hour. In the end the High King’s decision stands.”
“We’re Kings too, Caspian. Just because Pete outranks us doesn’t mean we have to keep out mouths shut. And he was wrong, we both know it.”
At that Caspian finally stopped and rounded on Edmund.
“Respectfully, brother, I ask that you refrain from such comments,” Caspian said firmly. “Because I for one am not sure he was wrong.”
“What? But we’ve talked about this before, your views--” Edmund was cut off by his friend’s raised hand.
“Are my own. And we will see soon enough if the High King is correct or not, so I am content to let it lie.” Caspian resumed walking, and Edmund fell in step, shaking his head in aggravation.
“You don’t have to always give in to him, you know,” Edmund told Caspian flatly. “I don’t know if it is because his rank or because of Su, but you’re not required to concede as often as you do.”
Once more Caspian stopped, sighing softly. “Do you really want to know why I concede to the High King?”
“Obviously.”
“It is because I respect him, Edmund,” Caspian said quietly. “It is not because I fear to speak my mind, for you have seen the High King and I disagree often. But I have thought long on the events that transpired prior to my reign, and I am not convinced that it was not my fault that we did not claim the castle that night. Just because I feel something is right in my heart at the time does not mean that it is right. One day I may have to send men to live or die by my gut instincts, but for now I have the opportunity to learn from someone who has ruled successfully for a lifetime. Peter is fallible, but as are you and as am I. I will watch him, and I will not always agree, but unless it is something that I feel must be said, I will have faith in him.”
Edmund said nothing for a moment, and then cursed as he threw his hands up in the air.
“Could you maybe be a little more selfish?” the young man complained. “Just to make the rest of us feel better?”
Caspian tipped his head to the side. “I do not understand,” he admitted.
“No,” Edmund rolled his eyes. “Of course you don’t.”
Caspian just shrugged as if it was no matter.
-----
The Queen yelped loudly.
Fortunately after she was done she squealed and jumped up and down, clapping her hands. Susan winced at the noise, grateful it was muffled as Lucy threw her arms about Caspian’s waist. He had covered her eyes as he had led her out into a far corner of the extensive gardens, where he had insisted she stay away from for the last fortnight. When Caspian had uncovered her eyes, Lucy had seen the most beautifully made little garden. Everything was sized perfectly for her, small stepping stones leading to a petite waterfall, complete with a tiny pond that just begged for her to place her feet in. The flowers had been chosen carefully for their ability to attract butterflies and Butterflies, so that nearly every petal had gently flapping wings. Their movements made the flowers look like they were dancing, and the light reflecting off the waterfall made the whole place shimmer.
More than the beauty, it held meaning for it had been recreated to match a larger garden that had once been designed just for her by her oldest and dearest friend Tumnus. Caspian had only her fond descriptions to go on, but it seemed that had been sufficient. She immediately had recognized it for what it was. Happy tears sprang into her eyes as Lucy clung to Caspian.
“You like it then, little Lu?” he teased her, picking the youngest Queen up and spinning her about.
“It’s perfect!” she declared, covering his face with kisses before he set her back down.
“There is one more thing. Go look at the bench, I have left something there for you.” With a huge grin on her face the Queen dashed off, leaving Susan standing next to Caspian with her arms crossed.
“You spoil her dreadfully, Caspian,” Susan remarked. He merely smiled, watching Lucy find the small package tucked beneath the bench amongst the clover. The little girl opened it quickly, then immediately fell very still. It was a pipe, of Faun making. It was worn smooth, as it should be for one that had survived 1300 years. Lucy looked up at him, eyes older than the rest of her.
“Is this--?” she seemed unable to get the words out. Caspian nodded solemnly.
“Trufflehunter and Trumpkin found it amongst the relics at Cair Paravel,” Susan told her sister. “He would have wanted you to have it.”
Lucy smiled, but they could see her lip quivering as she held the pipe to her tightly.
“Thank you, thank you both,” she said, her words heartfelt. Su shook her head.
“Don’t thank me, it was all Caspian.”
It was obvious that the littlest Queen was overcome, so the royal couple took their leave of her, walking away from what would be called Lucy’s Garden for the rest of their days.
“You spoil her,” Susan repeated, resting her hand on Caspian’s arm.
“You disapprove?” he asked her softly.
“With three of you doting on her like you do, it will be a wonder if she grows up as sensible as she did the first time,” Susan worried, pausing her steps. Caspian took her hands, tugging her forward just a step so that he could set his chin on the top of her head.
“I would rather Lucy grow up rotten and ungrateful than ever know what it was like to grow up wanting,” Caspian murmured. “Of her not knowing such things as kindness and generosity and love in her life.”
There was a catch to his voice, and Susan pulled away enough to be able to look up into his dark eyes.
“You don’t want her to grow up the way you did,” Susan supplied gently. Caspian was silent, but he rested his forehead against hers, his strong hands encircling her waist as they stood close together. Finally he exhaled softly.
“Nay, lady. I do not.”
It was as close as he would come to admitting the roughness of his upbringing, and even those few words were hard on him. So Susan took his face in her hands and leant up on her tiptoes, kissing him as carefully and lovingly as she could. Then she held him tightly, much as her sister had, although her arms were not those of a little girl but those of a woman.
“You are a good man, to freely give that which you were never given.”
Caspian never told her that it was the kindest thing anyone had ever said to him, nor that anything had ever meant as much. It was not his way.
----
“Just give up, Caspian,” Peter called up to his friend, looking extremely amused. “It’s never going to work.”
The other monarch just gave him a look that said he didn’t find the same humor in the situation that the High King did.
“She wants the apple,” Caspian growled. “I will get her the bloody apple.” Caspian was currently scaling the topmost branches of the furthest most tree in the orchard. Unfortunately this particular tree stood right at the edge of the gorge the castle was built in, so the climbing was not nearly as worrisome as the falling could be. A ways down the orchard, they could hear Susan and Lucy’s laughter as they played amongst the tress.
“There’s other fruit back at the castle,” Peter reminded him. “The apple season is over.”
“Except for this one,” Caspian grunted as he lifted himself up one more branch and tried to grab the apple. It dangled just out of his reach.
“You could’ve just shot it with an arrow or thrown a rock and knocked it down,” Peter suggested pleasantly, resting comfortably on the safety of the ground.
“And have to admit that it fell off the cliff?” Caspian shot back, toeing along the branch beneath him carefully. “That I am King of Narnia but I cannot capture a simple piece of fruit for my lady?”
“Your lady,” the High King said drolly, “asked this of you on purpose.”
“What do you mean?” Caspian had a pretty good idea, but sometimes it’s better to hear the truth straight out.
“In the Old times, you would have been trying to scale that thing with ten others attempting to beat you to it,” Peter chuckled. “Then you would have had to present it to her on a silver platter and sang a sonnet at the same time. Oh, and maybe fought a battle to the death for the privilege. All Su has now is you, since no one else is brave enough to try to court her against you, so she’s making the best of it.”
“Why do you tell me these things?” Caspian asked plaintively, as he finally managed to secure said elusive apple. “I make enough of a fool of myself for her, do I not?”
“For the record, friend, you can just tell her no.”
Caspian dropped to the ground with a thump and pulled out his kerchief.
“Hmmm?” he asked, distracted by his efforts to shine the slightly withered fruit back to its former glory. Peter grinned and folded his arms behind his head.
“I said, you can just tell her no.”
Caspian just shook his head, a touch of a wry smile curving his lips. “Nay, that I cannot.”
“Why? It would be good for her,” Peter encouraged, but Caspian held his ground and his apple proudly.
“The Queen deserves everything she could have had and should have had,” Caspian declared. Peter shrugged his apathy. His friend might be in love, but to the High King, Su was just a sister. Then a sly grin spread across Peter’s face.
“Everything, huh?”
“Everything,” Caspian stated firmly, but then he began to grow suspicious as Peter stood up and began to stroll off towards the Queens.
“I’ll tell her to get ready then,” Peter chuckled, enjoying the dread spreading over his friend’s face.
“Ready for what?” Caspian demanded. “Peter! Ready for what?”
“For the sonnets. Start practicing!”
Caspian gave his back a sick look. Off in the distance, Susan laughed.
-----
It had become common knowledge to the Pevensies that Caspian’s sweet good natured personality had a dark undercurrent to it. Perhaps he had spent too much time alone, growing up with only the company of his thoughts. As huge as his heart was, as kind as he treated those he cared about and those he ruled, Caspian did not do the same to himself. He would berate himself for small mistakes, punishing himself to the point that not even Susan knew what to do. It was as if perfection had been drilled so deeply into him that Caspian would settle for nothing less. And in the event that he could not achieve it, the young King would sink into the silence of his own mind, brooding unhappily.
He had been following such habit for nearly three days straight, growing grouchier and more solitary by the minute, when a knock came to his door. Caspian had insisted that they leave him be and so far they had done as he asked. He had spent the better part of the evening in the arm chair nearest the fire, lost in thought. Therefore it was an irritable King that grudgingly opened his door when a second and third knock came. Lucy smiled a huge toothy grin up at him. The little girl had her kitten (or perhaps Kitten) in her arms, although the thing was growing fast enough that it was harder for her to carry around as much.
“Hallo Caspian!” she said brightly, stepping forward and giving him a one armed hug. The other arm tried to balance the kitten as she did.
“Hello, Lucy,” Caspian replied, trying to keep the annoyance from his face as he resignedly gave her a hug back. “Did you need something?”
“Hmmm? Oh, I just wanted to see you,” she admitted, the kitten wiggling around in her arms.
As nicely as he could, Caspian said, “That is very kind of you, Lu. However I was in the midst of something… perhaps we can speak another time?”
“Opps! Oh dear, I’ve lost my kitten!” Lucy cried, as the thing seemed to magically slip out of her arms and dash through the open door, past the King. “Sorry, Caspian.”
Caspian watched the little Queen dash after the kitten, the pair running circles about his chaise lounge, and he sighed inwardly. Truly he had just wanted to be left to his own thoughts this evening.
“Lu, when you grab her, if you do not mind--”
“Oh, I’m sure she doesn’t, chap,” a male voice said jovially from the doorway. Caspian turned and saw Edmund swagger into his chambers, not bothering to ask permission before flopping himself down in Caspian’s armchair. “But it’ll take her forever to catch that thing. Fastest kitten alive. I know, I had to snag it yesterday.”
“You guys are approaching it all wrong,” Susan replied, stepping in after Edmund. She paused briefly to give the surprised Caspian a chaste kiss on the cheek before moving to sit on the chaise. “Just offer her some catnip.”
“You can’t give a Cat catnip, Su,” Edmund argued, ignoring the crash as kitten and Lucy knocked into a particularly nice end table. “Do you know how much trouble they get in? It like getting a Dwarf drunk and shoving him into a room with a bunch of randy old ladies. It never ends pretty.”
“You say that like you’ve seen it happen, Ed,” Lucy giggled, making her brother grin devilishly.
“I don’t want to know,” Susan declared. “Plus we don’t know if it’s a Cat or a cat, so what’s the harm?”
“That’s what the Dwarf said,” Edmund waggled his eyebrows and despite herself Susan began laughing. Caspian looked at the three a bit bemusedly, still fighting his irritation and desire to ask them to leave. However that would not be polite, not when the High King himself had just strode in, looking as if he had won a particularly hard battle.
“I found it!” Peter declared triumphantly, brandishing a red leather bound book. “Although it took me a bloody week to do it. Hallo, Caspian.” He gave Caspian a friendly clap on his shoulder as he passed by and settled himself on the floor near Edmund. Unable to do anything else, and having run out of Pevensies, Caspian chose to quietly close the door.
“Peter, watch your language around Lu,” Susan couldn’t help but say, knowing it wasn’t ever going to do much good.
“Oh, she’s heard much worse,” Edmund defended his brother faithfully. “You should have heard what Caspian said in front of her last week.”
“Really?” Susan raised a perfectly sculpted eyebrow at Edmund, and then turned it her suitor’s way. Caspian, knowing the truth of the statement, had the grace to blush.
“I did not know she was behind me,” Caspian admitted, glaring at Ed for ratting him out. The other two kings just grinned in matching expressions of ‘up to no good’-ness. “And it was nothing compared to the High King’s comments about the Duchess of Anvard.” Ha! Two could play at that game. Peter reddened slightly, glancing guiltily at Lucy, who was much more interested in her kitten than their conversation.
“She didn’t even know what it meant,” Peter muttered, but he did cough in embarrassment, and Caspian found himself smirking. He walked over to the chaise and sat down on it near Susan. She gave him a sweet smile and took his hand.
“Okay, you guys ready?” Peter asked, opening the book and looking at it intently.
“Ready for what?” Caspian wondered. Perhaps this book was the reason why all four of the monarchs would have intruded upon his seclusion.
“Okay, everyone, Ghoul.”
“Huh? That’s an easy one, Peter, pick something else,” Susan insisted.
“No, I bet it’s not easy for Caspian. He’s brand new to Narnian things,” Edmund countered, causing a short disagreement between the two that Lucy finally broke up.
“Why don’t you just ask him if he knows what it is?” Lucy suggested, seeing the complete confusion on the Telmarine’s face.
“What is this that we are doing?” Caspian asked, and Peter gave him a grin.
“Best… game… ever.”
“Oh shuddup, Peter!” Susan cried, and the Pevensies fell to laughing, much to Caspian’s astonishment. But their laughter was infectious, and despite how much he had felt he needed to be alone that night, Caspian found his inner turmoil easing as he sat quietly within the tight knit group.
Nearly an hour later, Caspian found himself reclining on the chaise, his head cradled on Susan’s lap as he listened quietly to the conversations going on around him. Caspian had not joined in the game, being content to merely be there. His eyes were closed as Susan’s fingers ran through his hair soothingly, stopping only as she had to think particularly hard. On the floor next to him, Lucy had curled up and was blinking sleepily. Her kitten rested on the chaise between Caspian’s ribs and Lucy’s hand. It was making deep purring noises as both the King and the Queens randomly reached over to scratch it behind its ears. Peter and Edmund were in an argument about some sort of illness called gastrovascular, and his solitude had been completely ruined.
Caspian smiled to himself, wondering how it was that his new family always knew exactly how to keep him content.