Straight Answers
This is something I wrote a while ago, but wasn't ever happy with. I'm happy with it now, so I'm posting it. It also gave me the idea to do a one-shot where Zuko confronts Katara about messing everything up. She's the whole reason Crossroads of Destiny happened in the first place, and I imagine Zuko might have a bone to pick with her about that.
Title: Straight Answers
Characters: Hakoda, Zuko
Rating: T for language
Summary: All Hakoda wanted to know was why his daughter was so mean and nasty to Zuko. Why was it so hard to get a straight answer from that boy? Set after The Boiling Rock.
[at ff.net]
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The group had just finished eating dinner, and now everyone was lounging around the temple. Sokka and Suki were in a corner by themselves, Katara was cleaning up, and Toph and Aang were playing some sort of game with Teo and The Duke. Haru and Chit Sang were conversing quietly in a corner. It was calm and relaxed, and in a lot of ways, it reminded him of life at the South Pole. Only, you know, without all the ice.
There was a clear order in the group, and everyone seemed to have their place, except Zuko. That had surprised Hakoda. It had been Zuko who accompanied Sokka to the prison, who fought off his own sister just to help them escape. Hakoda had automatically assumed that meant that Zuko was part of their group, not just some hanger-on they’d picked up along the way. When they docked the airship, everyone had run to greet him and Suki, but they didn’t seem to notice Zuko slip away.
Over the next few days, Hakoda watched as Zuko was treated with various levels of friendship, indifference, and downright hostility-this last from Katara. His little Katara who was always so kind and willing to help. His Katara, who seemed to be the center of the group, organizing and assigning jobs and cooking and cleaning and mending. Katara, who kept order. But when she interacted with the prince, she was mean and vicious, and he just didn’t understand it.
Hakoda had watched that night as Zuko accepted his dinner, then sat at a pillar just outside the circle. No one commented on it. No one said anything when he finished before them, then slipped off quietly. This had become routine, and he wanted to get to the bottom of this. He would deal with Katara later, but right then, he decided to head up to Zuko’s room.
He knocked, and didn’t have to wait long for an answer. Zuko opened the door a crack, and looked suspiciously at Hakoda before opening the door all the way.
“Do you mind if we talk?”
Zuko was clearly weighing something in his head, and it was nearly a full minute before he stepped back and shrugged. Hakoda closed the door behind him and noticed the boy tense up. Hakoda sighed. He tried to respect Zuko’s privacy, but couldn’t help noticing how clean the room was. He didn’t have many possessions, none of the children did, but while Sokka’s room had clothes all over the place, there wasn’t one piece of clothing in sight that belonged to the firebender. On his bed, his weapons were spread out, and Hakoda noticed the military precision with which the dao and his dagger were laid out. Next to them, folded in a tiny square was the cloth he must have been using to clean them. He looked up. Zuko was watching him look at the weapons.
“You trained in the military?” Hakoda asked.
“My uncle thought it would distract me,” Zuko said after a pause.
“Distract you? From what?”
The silence stretched on for so long that Hakoda almost repeated the question, not sure if he’d been heard the first time. He took in a breath to do so when Zuko finally responded.
“I was banished. From the Fire Nation.”
Hakoda stared at the boy. Banished? He watched Zuko fidget, clearly waiting for Hakoda to say something, but nothing really came to mind. Why would the Fire Lord banish his only son? He wanted to ask more, but Zuko was clearly uncomfortable with the topic. Far from the self-assured, determined young man who’d infiltrated the Boiling Rock, the teenager standing in front of him was awkward, unsure, and seemed to be waiting for some punishment. He kept his distance from Hakoda and occasionally looked at his weapons, something Hakoda had done himself when he was calculating how much time he had to get to a weapon before an enemy attacked.
“I’m sorry, I never really thanked you.” This got his attention, and Zuko’s head snapped up.
“What?”
“Thanked you. For rescuing me from the prison.”
“It’s the least I could do.”
“And I’m sorry about the way Katara’s been treating you. I raised her better than that.”
“You don’t have to apologize for her.”
This took Hakoda by surprise. He knew there’d been things he missed in his children’s lives, but he was positive that there was never a situation where it would be ok for either of them to treat an ally like Katara was treating Zuko. The longer he was around, the more Katara’s behavior was put into contrast with the way everyone else treated him, especially the little blind girl, Toph.
“If she’s not doing anything wrong, then why is she the only one treating you like that? Toph seems to like you well enough.”
“Toph and I have a lot in common,” he said with a smile. It was the first time Hakoda could remember seeing him smile. “The whole nobility thing, and the pressures that come along with it.”
“And Katara?”
Zuko was quiet again, and Hakoda could see him choosing his words carefully.
“Our relationship is…complicated.”
“Relationship?” Hakoda could have kicked himself. He hadn’t meant to sound so surprised, or a little angry. Zuko was immediately on the defensive, taking a few steps back, and holding up his hands, palms outward.
“No! No, not like that. I mean…shit.” He ran his hands through his hair, looking anywhere but at Hakoda. “It’s just that…she has every right to be mad at me.”
“If it’s because you used to be on different sides…”
“It’s more than that.”
“Huh.” Hakoda scratched his chin. Zuko was even more uncomfortable talking about what went on between him and Katara, and no one else seemed to really know just why Katara was so mad at him. Hakoda knew about the battle at Ba Sing Se, how Zuko had joined his sister to overwhelm Katara and Aang, but everyone else said that he’d made up for his wrongs. Sokka, Toph, and Aang were convinced something more had happened between the two.
Now Zuko was covering his face and cursing.
“Did it have to do with the crystal catacombs?” Hakoda asked.
“Who told you that?”
Hakoda wasn’t sure how he felt about Zuko’s horrified reaction.
“Aang.” Hakoda could tell that Aang liked his daughter, and the accusatory note in the child’s voice when he said something must have happened in the crystal catacombs hadn’t sat well with Hakoda at all.
“Fuckin Agni.”
“What did you do to my daughter?” Hakoda asked, advancing on Zuko. He purposely put himself between the boy and his weapons, determined that he wouldn’t give him the chance to defend himself.
“I didn’t hurt her, physically,” Zuko was saying, not even attempting to reach his weapons. He took several deep breaths, and Hakoda could see it was costing him a lot to give up whatever secret he was holding. He should have backed off, but he was protective of his cubs.
Finally, Zuko dropped his hands and closed his eyes. He gave in. “When I joined Azula, I betrayed her personally. She offered me what no one else would.” Zuko paused. “Fuck.”
Hakoda had to admit, whatever he was trying to say wasn’t coming out all that well. He crossed his arms and stared the boy down, willing him to just be frank and say exactly what happened.
“I mean, not like that. She…” he groped around for words, looked pathetically at Hakoda. “She trusted me, and I turned my back on her.”
“What did she offer you?”
“She has every right to be mad at me.”
“That’s not what I asked you.”
He was still fighting, refusing to give up the secret, and that just made Hakoda more suspicious. That, and the way Aang had looked at Zuko as he told Hakoda about how he and Iroh rescued them from prison.
“I’d changed. I wasn’t the same person I was when I was chasing them, and we were in there for hours, and I don’t know how it happened but we were talking, and when she looked at me, she didn’t hate me, and she understood…”
Hakoda nodded encouragingly.
“I tried so hard, and they still hated me, but she said she never hated me, even when we fought at the Spirit Oasis, and I really just didn’t understand how she couldn’t hate me after all I’d done, but that doesn’t matter now, because she does hate me, and I deserve it, and if Aang didn’t need a firebending teacher-”
Hakoda rolled his eyes. They were getting further away from the subject. “Just stop.”
Zuko blinked at him, then rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m making an ass of myself.”
“Yes.” Really, things didn’t have to be this difficult.
“My father’s not like you,” Zuko said after a pause.
“Clearly.”
“I mean, toward his children. Me and Azula. He’s not like you are with Sokka and Katara.”
“What does that have to do with anything?” Again, Zuko seemed to be on the verge of saying something. Hakoda sighed and sat down on the bed, patting the spot next to him. Reluctantly, Zuko sat down. “I’m not sure what’s going on between the two of you, but that’s not the way I raised my daughter. She should know when to be grateful, and from what I’ve seen, you’ve done a hell of a lot for everyone.”
“It’s not that-”
“She hasn’t even thanked you has she?” Zuko shook his head. “She hasn’t thanked you for saving her father, she hasn’t thanked you for getting Toph to do the things she can’t, she hasn’t thanked you for keeping Sokka and Suki off each other so much, she hasn’t thanked you for the hunting, or helping with The Duke, or teaching Aang, or anything. She hasn’t thanked you for giving up your life-”
“Trust me, I wasn’t giving up that much. And she doesn’t have to thank me.”
“Then why the hell is she so mad at you?” Hakoda asked, exasperated, throwing his hands in the air. He hadn’t been this frustrated with a conversation since the time he tried to get Sokka to admit that he’d eaten all the stew when it was still smeared all over his face. “I’m trying to understand what’s going on here, and you’re just dancing around the answer and digging yourself into a deeper hole. What did you do that was so bad?”
Zuko cringed, and his shoulders slumped. Hakoda hoped that now, finally he could get a straight answer.
“I just wanted to go home.”
Hakoda waited. Zuko looked straight ahead.
“I thought that if Uncle saw it, and that Katara saw it, maybe he would see it, too. Azula offered me a way home, and I hadn’t been home in three years, and I wanted things to just be…normal again. Normal, except I wanted him to… I was stupid, and Aang paid for it.”
“Him who?”
“She offered to heal my scar.”
“What? How?”
“With the water from the Spirit Oasis. He burned me, and she would have… But Uncle and Aang showed up, and she left with them, and then Azula showed up, and offered me a way home.” He sighed. “So there.”
Hakoda felt terrible. “Your father…?”
Zuko said nothing.
“Do the others know?”
“Only Katara. And that’s the way I intend to keep it. I don’t want their pity.”
Hakoda shook his head. “Your mother-”
“She’s gone.”
He’d severely underestimated everything about Zuko. No matter how angry Hakoda was with his children, he could never imagine marking them the way Zuko had been. Or even just hurting them. Hakoda wanted to ask something else, but Zuko was shutting down. He was still holding a lot of anger, the tension in his body was evident of that. The Fire Nation royal family was far more complicated than he had ever expected it to be. In war, it was too easy and too tempting to simplify your enemies.
Zuko let out a bitter laugh. “Turns out home isn’t quite what I thought it would be.”
Hakoda put a hand on Zuko’s shoulder. “Sometimes it isn’t home that changes, but us.”
“You sound like my uncle.”
“Sounds like your uncle is a wise man.”
Zuko dropped his face into his hands, and for a moment, his shoulders shook. “I turned my back on him, too.”
If ever Hakoda needed a reminder about why they were fighting the war, this was it. Children were fighting this war. They were lost and parentless and without guidance, and somehow, they were the ones putting their lives on the line. They were dealing with issues that should even cross their minds.
“I’ll talk to Katara,” Hakoda said, standing up to leave.
“Please don’t.”
“There’s no use in you punishing yourself like this. What good are you to Aang and the others if you’re wallowing in your guilt? The sad, brooding thing only works for so long before it gets annoying.”
Zuko stared up at Hakoda, his mouth hanging open. “What?”
“Let me give you a bit of advice. The longer you let people push you around, the more they’re going to do it. I will talk to Katara, because at the least, she owes you a few kind words for helping me and Suki. But really, you’ll start to bring the rest of the group down if you keep moping all over the place.”
Hakoda patted Zuko’s shoulder before closing the door behind him. What that boy needed was someone to just tell him straight. And possibly someone to teach him to give a straight answer.
Title: Straight Answers
Characters: Hakoda, Zuko
Rating: T for language
Summary: All Hakoda wanted to know was why his daughter was so mean and nasty to Zuko. Why was it so hard to get a straight answer from that boy? Set after The Boiling Rock.
[at ff.net]
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The group had just finished eating dinner, and now everyone was lounging around the temple. Sokka and Suki were in a corner by themselves, Katara was cleaning up, and Toph and Aang were playing some sort of game with Teo and The Duke. Haru and Chit Sang were conversing quietly in a corner. It was calm and relaxed, and in a lot of ways, it reminded him of life at the South Pole. Only, you know, without all the ice.
There was a clear order in the group, and everyone seemed to have their place, except Zuko. That had surprised Hakoda. It had been Zuko who accompanied Sokka to the prison, who fought off his own sister just to help them escape. Hakoda had automatically assumed that meant that Zuko was part of their group, not just some hanger-on they’d picked up along the way. When they docked the airship, everyone had run to greet him and Suki, but they didn’t seem to notice Zuko slip away.
Over the next few days, Hakoda watched as Zuko was treated with various levels of friendship, indifference, and downright hostility-this last from Katara. His little Katara who was always so kind and willing to help. His Katara, who seemed to be the center of the group, organizing and assigning jobs and cooking and cleaning and mending. Katara, who kept order. But when she interacted with the prince, she was mean and vicious, and he just didn’t understand it.
Hakoda had watched that night as Zuko accepted his dinner, then sat at a pillar just outside the circle. No one commented on it. No one said anything when he finished before them, then slipped off quietly. This had become routine, and he wanted to get to the bottom of this. He would deal with Katara later, but right then, he decided to head up to Zuko’s room.
He knocked, and didn’t have to wait long for an answer. Zuko opened the door a crack, and looked suspiciously at Hakoda before opening the door all the way.
“Do you mind if we talk?”
Zuko was clearly weighing something in his head, and it was nearly a full minute before he stepped back and shrugged. Hakoda closed the door behind him and noticed the boy tense up. Hakoda sighed. He tried to respect Zuko’s privacy, but couldn’t help noticing how clean the room was. He didn’t have many possessions, none of the children did, but while Sokka’s room had clothes all over the place, there wasn’t one piece of clothing in sight that belonged to the firebender. On his bed, his weapons were spread out, and Hakoda noticed the military precision with which the dao and his dagger were laid out. Next to them, folded in a tiny square was the cloth he must have been using to clean them. He looked up. Zuko was watching him look at the weapons.
“You trained in the military?” Hakoda asked.
“My uncle thought it would distract me,” Zuko said after a pause.
“Distract you? From what?”
The silence stretched on for so long that Hakoda almost repeated the question, not sure if he’d been heard the first time. He took in a breath to do so when Zuko finally responded.
“I was banished. From the Fire Nation.”
Hakoda stared at the boy. Banished? He watched Zuko fidget, clearly waiting for Hakoda to say something, but nothing really came to mind. Why would the Fire Lord banish his only son? He wanted to ask more, but Zuko was clearly uncomfortable with the topic. Far from the self-assured, determined young man who’d infiltrated the Boiling Rock, the teenager standing in front of him was awkward, unsure, and seemed to be waiting for some punishment. He kept his distance from Hakoda and occasionally looked at his weapons, something Hakoda had done himself when he was calculating how much time he had to get to a weapon before an enemy attacked.
“I’m sorry, I never really thanked you.” This got his attention, and Zuko’s head snapped up.
“What?”
“Thanked you. For rescuing me from the prison.”
“It’s the least I could do.”
“And I’m sorry about the way Katara’s been treating you. I raised her better than that.”
“You don’t have to apologize for her.”
This took Hakoda by surprise. He knew there’d been things he missed in his children’s lives, but he was positive that there was never a situation where it would be ok for either of them to treat an ally like Katara was treating Zuko. The longer he was around, the more Katara’s behavior was put into contrast with the way everyone else treated him, especially the little blind girl, Toph.
“If she’s not doing anything wrong, then why is she the only one treating you like that? Toph seems to like you well enough.”
“Toph and I have a lot in common,” he said with a smile. It was the first time Hakoda could remember seeing him smile. “The whole nobility thing, and the pressures that come along with it.”
“And Katara?”
Zuko was quiet again, and Hakoda could see him choosing his words carefully.
“Our relationship is…complicated.”
“Relationship?” Hakoda could have kicked himself. He hadn’t meant to sound so surprised, or a little angry. Zuko was immediately on the defensive, taking a few steps back, and holding up his hands, palms outward.
“No! No, not like that. I mean…shit.” He ran his hands through his hair, looking anywhere but at Hakoda. “It’s just that…she has every right to be mad at me.”
“If it’s because you used to be on different sides…”
“It’s more than that.”
“Huh.” Hakoda scratched his chin. Zuko was even more uncomfortable talking about what went on between him and Katara, and no one else seemed to really know just why Katara was so mad at him. Hakoda knew about the battle at Ba Sing Se, how Zuko had joined his sister to overwhelm Katara and Aang, but everyone else said that he’d made up for his wrongs. Sokka, Toph, and Aang were convinced something more had happened between the two.
Now Zuko was covering his face and cursing.
“Did it have to do with the crystal catacombs?” Hakoda asked.
“Who told you that?”
Hakoda wasn’t sure how he felt about Zuko’s horrified reaction.
“Aang.” Hakoda could tell that Aang liked his daughter, and the accusatory note in the child’s voice when he said something must have happened in the crystal catacombs hadn’t sat well with Hakoda at all.
“Fuckin Agni.”
“What did you do to my daughter?” Hakoda asked, advancing on Zuko. He purposely put himself between the boy and his weapons, determined that he wouldn’t give him the chance to defend himself.
“I didn’t hurt her, physically,” Zuko was saying, not even attempting to reach his weapons. He took several deep breaths, and Hakoda could see it was costing him a lot to give up whatever secret he was holding. He should have backed off, but he was protective of his cubs.
Finally, Zuko dropped his hands and closed his eyes. He gave in. “When I joined Azula, I betrayed her personally. She offered me what no one else would.” Zuko paused. “Fuck.”
Hakoda had to admit, whatever he was trying to say wasn’t coming out all that well. He crossed his arms and stared the boy down, willing him to just be frank and say exactly what happened.
“I mean, not like that. She…” he groped around for words, looked pathetically at Hakoda. “She trusted me, and I turned my back on her.”
“What did she offer you?”
“She has every right to be mad at me.”
“That’s not what I asked you.”
He was still fighting, refusing to give up the secret, and that just made Hakoda more suspicious. That, and the way Aang had looked at Zuko as he told Hakoda about how he and Iroh rescued them from prison.
“I’d changed. I wasn’t the same person I was when I was chasing them, and we were in there for hours, and I don’t know how it happened but we were talking, and when she looked at me, she didn’t hate me, and she understood…”
Hakoda nodded encouragingly.
“I tried so hard, and they still hated me, but she said she never hated me, even when we fought at the Spirit Oasis, and I really just didn’t understand how she couldn’t hate me after all I’d done, but that doesn’t matter now, because she does hate me, and I deserve it, and if Aang didn’t need a firebending teacher-”
Hakoda rolled his eyes. They were getting further away from the subject. “Just stop.”
Zuko blinked at him, then rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m making an ass of myself.”
“Yes.” Really, things didn’t have to be this difficult.
“My father’s not like you,” Zuko said after a pause.
“Clearly.”
“I mean, toward his children. Me and Azula. He’s not like you are with Sokka and Katara.”
“What does that have to do with anything?” Again, Zuko seemed to be on the verge of saying something. Hakoda sighed and sat down on the bed, patting the spot next to him. Reluctantly, Zuko sat down. “I’m not sure what’s going on between the two of you, but that’s not the way I raised my daughter. She should know when to be grateful, and from what I’ve seen, you’ve done a hell of a lot for everyone.”
“It’s not that-”
“She hasn’t even thanked you has she?” Zuko shook his head. “She hasn’t thanked you for saving her father, she hasn’t thanked you for getting Toph to do the things she can’t, she hasn’t thanked you for keeping Sokka and Suki off each other so much, she hasn’t thanked you for the hunting, or helping with The Duke, or teaching Aang, or anything. She hasn’t thanked you for giving up your life-”
“Trust me, I wasn’t giving up that much. And she doesn’t have to thank me.”
“Then why the hell is she so mad at you?” Hakoda asked, exasperated, throwing his hands in the air. He hadn’t been this frustrated with a conversation since the time he tried to get Sokka to admit that he’d eaten all the stew when it was still smeared all over his face. “I’m trying to understand what’s going on here, and you’re just dancing around the answer and digging yourself into a deeper hole. What did you do that was so bad?”
Zuko cringed, and his shoulders slumped. Hakoda hoped that now, finally he could get a straight answer.
“I just wanted to go home.”
Hakoda waited. Zuko looked straight ahead.
“I thought that if Uncle saw it, and that Katara saw it, maybe he would see it, too. Azula offered me a way home, and I hadn’t been home in three years, and I wanted things to just be…normal again. Normal, except I wanted him to… I was stupid, and Aang paid for it.”
“Him who?”
“She offered to heal my scar.”
“What? How?”
“With the water from the Spirit Oasis. He burned me, and she would have… But Uncle and Aang showed up, and she left with them, and then Azula showed up, and offered me a way home.” He sighed. “So there.”
Hakoda felt terrible. “Your father…?”
Zuko said nothing.
“Do the others know?”
“Only Katara. And that’s the way I intend to keep it. I don’t want their pity.”
Hakoda shook his head. “Your mother-”
“She’s gone.”
He’d severely underestimated everything about Zuko. No matter how angry Hakoda was with his children, he could never imagine marking them the way Zuko had been. Or even just hurting them. Hakoda wanted to ask something else, but Zuko was shutting down. He was still holding a lot of anger, the tension in his body was evident of that. The Fire Nation royal family was far more complicated than he had ever expected it to be. In war, it was too easy and too tempting to simplify your enemies.
Zuko let out a bitter laugh. “Turns out home isn’t quite what I thought it would be.”
Hakoda put a hand on Zuko’s shoulder. “Sometimes it isn’t home that changes, but us.”
“You sound like my uncle.”
“Sounds like your uncle is a wise man.”
Zuko dropped his face into his hands, and for a moment, his shoulders shook. “I turned my back on him, too.”
If ever Hakoda needed a reminder about why they were fighting the war, this was it. Children were fighting this war. They were lost and parentless and without guidance, and somehow, they were the ones putting their lives on the line. They were dealing with issues that should even cross their minds.
“I’ll talk to Katara,” Hakoda said, standing up to leave.
“Please don’t.”
“There’s no use in you punishing yourself like this. What good are you to Aang and the others if you’re wallowing in your guilt? The sad, brooding thing only works for so long before it gets annoying.”
Zuko stared up at Hakoda, his mouth hanging open. “What?”
“Let me give you a bit of advice. The longer you let people push you around, the more they’re going to do it. I will talk to Katara, because at the least, she owes you a few kind words for helping me and Suki. But really, you’ll start to bring the rest of the group down if you keep moping all over the place.”
Hakoda patted Zuko’s shoulder before closing the door behind him. What that boy needed was someone to just tell him straight. And possibly someone to teach him to give a straight answer.