youve got my heart in your hands...be careful please?

[em0k1d]

man...these couple days have been great, Anthony came down...and we hung out, and drove to valencia...and hung out at his house for awhile..it was nice..and then we drove back to palmdale, n weve been hanging out until today and he left this morning, and i miss him already hah..im a loserface. cuz im totally getting my hopes up, and i set myself up for that, or..am I? ahhh i dunno im so confused. Yeah but last night i got really trashed like..actually trashed for the first time in a while!! n I made such an asshole out of myself, I cried and made the biggest scene ever. and i hate myself for doing that, like i didnt even mean to it just kinda happened, and like...i dunno...my thoughts are all over the place right now. its not even clear, everythings just mixed up. and being questioned. and everything. i dunno..blaaah...i need to pull myself together...k..im done.

so school is going good..ill be a senior in like 2 months. yay for me.

other than that. everythings going..pretty good, things are maybe actually looking up for me. i hope it continues. i need to be happy. im so tired of being alone, and bitter, cuz thats not how i am, thats not me.

ahhck..i saw someone @ Carls Jr that i really wish i didnt see, it hurt. i couldnt say hi to him, he used to be such a good friend, what happened?:( whatever. it hurt me so bad...but..i guess im slowly getting over it its really not worth it for me to be bitching and complaining about it. ahhck..=\ oh well.

ah..im gonna go take a bath...and think for awhile...

im out.
<3.