...Why Me?...
Hey there..well today has been...a sucky day..But shit happens...I dont know..I decided to change the color of my writing today...the color of like..red...lol..blood..pain..oh well..hmm well I dont know how to really start this..I pretty much just dont have too much to stay..but i'll do the best i can to put it like..exactly how i want it to be..lets start off with...My birthday..its gonna suck..i dont know i just have a feeling that my birthday is gonna full on suck balls...and the show that I planned for...is totally screwed up...the lineup is SO gay...dead after 8,long walk home,mavrick,break the sky and in memory..its no longer a bday show..its just a regular fucking show thats gonna completely suck balls..=( whatever..no one understands..its my sweet 16.i wanted to plan something really awesome..and it got allll fucked up..ugh..whatever..i dont even know why i try anymore...:sigh: anyways..So..yeah theres one thing..and then the Saturday OF my gay birthday..i dont even know whats going down..probably nothing..Anthony probably wont be able to come down..and all my friends dont have money so I'll probably end up sitting at home..by myself..doing nothing..<\3 oh well..hmm...Right now I dont know...Im soo confused..okay..that brings us to topic 2.. Anthony...I know I know..thats ALL I do..is ramble on about him..and blah blah..But i mean...this is where i pretty much vent..I'm allowed to say whatever I want..if you dont like it..then DONT read my livejournal anymore..ugh anyways..So..I like this guy SO much..okay..but the thing is..i dont know how much he likes me..its frusterating..I dont know..Its like I feel like I like him soo much more than he likes me..and its like AH and im too scared to ask him anything..i dont know..im just weird...but..yeah thats pretty much it with that subject...I went to this back to school thing with Christopher tonight and it just made me realize how much i really miss school...but oh well i mean its too late to go back so Im not even gonna bitch about it...whatever..and Im the selfish one..Im just gonna stop rambling on and bitching cuz Im just being selfish and apparently..ugh nothing..forget it..im just done..i think im gonna delete this stupid livejournal shit..and erase my myspace..and get rid of everything in contact with people..im sooo tired of everyone and fake people..and just..everything..i just wanna be alone in my room for the rest of my life..which will probably happen anyways because i dont even have control over my own life anymore..kinda sad isnt it? oh well thats my life for u...eh..im gonna go...=(
,
Nicole