...i feel like ive lost everything when your gone...
well...yeah! since ive had an interesting couple of days..beings that I did update yesterday but i didnt write anything..okay..so i should probably start off with Anthony..well...beings that he lives in Valencia now..we're not together..or..whatever..i guess we're seeing eachother...but we're allowed to see other people..i guess we're testing out our relationship..or what could be..i dont know its so hard to explain. but i mean it'll all work out for the better..he'll be back in Palmdale in June..of 2005..and it'll be good..im hoping..because i now im never gonna stop liking him..hes just one of those guys who scars ur heart.lol..not always in a bad way..lol well yeah..today has been a mellowed out kinda day...ive just been thinking alot about school...and everything..well school because frankly i have NO idea what school im going to next year..Im probably going to OFL (Oppurtunities for Learning) but i dunno..n I really miss being in Marching Band and Band camp is coming over for everyone and It sounds dumb but i really miss it..I miss all the people and all the fun times..everyones like begging me to go to Palmdale but i cant..I mean I could but thatd be stupid beings that Im gonna be gone away for like..a month in December..::Sobs:: but anyways..we're not gonna talk about that..So other than School..my dad came back on Sunday..i mean its not bad yet..but im sure it can only get worse..::Sigh:: i hope it doesnt but knowing how he is it will..whatever though im not worried about it. yeaah Cindy and Chris left today and I like..had an attack..i broke down and sobbed and cried and listened to Dashboard Confessional and got all depressed..it sucked hardcore..but i mean i realized its for the best...both of our emotions are so strong for eachother if we went on..it'd just hurt one of us..or both of us..ahck..anyways..Im okay..I got in this weird mood and i was kinda saying stupid stuff to Christopher and he was like..all worried about me and called Cynthia all ina Panic and shit..and she called me and shes like ARE YOU OKAY?!?! im like..yes im fine..and then my other friend Chris stayed on the phone with me while i was in the bathtub..taking a bath so i wouldnt do anything stupid..(ooo la la) lmao..yeah soo tomorrow im supposed to hang out withh my good ol friend Chris cuz hes gonna keep me busy so i dont think about anything lol n then Im supposed to go to Bill and Homeros house with Cynthia and my family..::Sigh:: Oh shit..that reminds me..I made my mom cry tonight..it sucked..i felt sooooo bad..she came in here like talking about how i dont tell her anything anymore now that my dads been back and its not even like that..i just didnt wanna talk about what was going on with me to her at the moment and she was like OH BUT YOU'LL TALK TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS!! and she ranted off..i felt like total shit..ahhck i dunno..i feel..icky..i dunno..=( well I think im done lol..MuCh LoVe