Good/Bad News.
Mmkey.
To start off, I had a depressing, yet satisfyingly good day.
Bad or good news first?
Probably bad.
Alright, so. As you all [should] know, I go to Dreyfoos, school of the arts.
Had a critique, basically judging other people's artwork telling the good and bad about the piece and saying what should be worked on and such. Get what I mean? My piece was the last one to talk about, I don't blame them. It was a simple self-portrait but I did incorporate some other meanings to the piece too. NO ONE but the teacher said it was 'beautifully drawn'. That's all it is. A drawing. Then, it hit me.
I either lost my ability to make art or I never had that ability at all.
Sure I can draw what I see, but it's much more than that. I can't make symbolism at all without being blunt. It just makes me wonder if I'm good enough for any colleges? I have no idea how to think like the other visual seniors. I just...feel like a failure and I want to cry but I won't, because crying does nothing for you and just shows that you're weak. I don't want to be seen as that, none-the-less, a loner/lesbian [which I'm not as you know, I have a boyfriend and care wayyy too much for him~] at my school. I hate this. I'm just questioning WHY I got into this school that I obviously don't deserve to be in. Thing was, my scores showed that my writing was way higher than any of my artistic scores. Oh, I had to audition to get in, you see, forgot to tell you that, unless you knew already.
ANYWAY, enough moppyness. On to the good news~
I got accepted into Ringling College of Art and Design. =D Mother is making me tell my relatives about that. -.-; I mean, I'm happy that I did get accepted but at the same time, I keep wondering 'why?'. I'm questioning that because of what I said ^above^ in paragraph 2, just before. I don't feel like I give definition to art as to what others are looking for. I used to think that 'oh screw them, I'll just make my own art' but it's all gotten to me that I'm a failure at that school. I basically just DON'T belong.
This also brought me to thinking of my position in life. What is it? That I don't know. I must of been made for some reason rather than to make my parents happy. Maybe. Maybe not. I hope I'll find out later in life.
v v;
Signing out, Jenn.
:3 <3
To start off, I had a depressing, yet satisfyingly good day.
Bad or good news first?
Probably bad.
Alright, so. As you all [should] know, I go to Dreyfoos, school of the arts.
Had a critique, basically judging other people's artwork telling the good and bad about the piece and saying what should be worked on and such. Get what I mean? My piece was the last one to talk about, I don't blame them. It was a simple self-portrait but I did incorporate some other meanings to the piece too. NO ONE but the teacher said it was 'beautifully drawn'. That's all it is. A drawing. Then, it hit me.
I either lost my ability to make art or I never had that ability at all.
Sure I can draw what I see, but it's much more than that. I can't make symbolism at all without being blunt. It just makes me wonder if I'm good enough for any colleges? I have no idea how to think like the other visual seniors. I just...feel like a failure and I want to cry but I won't, because crying does nothing for you and just shows that you're weak. I don't want to be seen as that, none-the-less, a loner/lesbian [which I'm not as you know, I have a boyfriend and care wayyy too much for him~] at my school. I hate this. I'm just questioning WHY I got into this school that I obviously don't deserve to be in. Thing was, my scores showed that my writing was way higher than any of my artistic scores. Oh, I had to audition to get in, you see, forgot to tell you that, unless you knew already.
ANYWAY, enough moppyness. On to the good news~
I got accepted into Ringling College of Art and Design. =D Mother is making me tell my relatives about that. -.-; I mean, I'm happy that I did get accepted but at the same time, I keep wondering 'why?'. I'm questioning that because of what I said ^above^ in paragraph 2, just before. I don't feel like I give definition to art as to what others are looking for. I used to think that 'oh screw them, I'll just make my own art' but it's all gotten to me that I'm a failure at that school. I basically just DON'T belong.
This also brought me to thinking of my position in life. What is it? That I don't know. I must of been made for some reason rather than to make my parents happy. Maybe. Maybe not. I hope I'll find out later in life.
v v;
Signing out, Jenn.
:3 <3