(no subject)
A morsel from this Tuesday's edition of the Denisonian:
James Frey makes us proud; well, at least some of us
1. Next time someone off the hill gives you grief for driving daddy's Banz or Beemer just threaten to run them down James Frey style and watch their tone change.
2. Frey's book became the #2 best-seller for 2005-- So who cares if some of it is fiction? The #1 best-seller is totally fiction-- Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.
3. Next time someone accuses you of a drinking problem just say, "Well, James Frey started drinking at the age of 10 and now he's a national best-seller."
4. Okay, so perhaps some deatils in Frey's book aren't accurate, but now 3.5 million people know about our oasis of really good-looking people.
5. The next time someone calls you a puss for any reason, ask them how many students from their school had a root canal without Novacaine!
6. No Spring Break plans? Just go on four-day crack binge and drive up the East Coast. Chances are, you'll end up on a plane to Chicago.
7. Relationship problems are an unavoidable part of college. When you appear on "Larry King Live" to talk about them, consider yourself desperate.
8. No one ever believes your drunken stories? Just call them memoirs and takes the train to NYT best-selling success.
9. If a professor get on you about the integrity of your next term paper just blame it on your publisher and walk away.
10. Regularly disorderly when leaving Brews? Ask for Sgt. Dudgeon- it's the closest your shenanigans will ever get to Frey.
James Frey makes us proud; well, at least some of us
1. Next time someone off the hill gives you grief for driving daddy's Banz or Beemer just threaten to run them down James Frey style and watch their tone change.
2. Frey's book became the #2 best-seller for 2005-- So who cares if some of it is fiction? The #1 best-seller is totally fiction-- Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.
3. Next time someone accuses you of a drinking problem just say, "Well, James Frey started drinking at the age of 10 and now he's a national best-seller."
4. Okay, so perhaps some deatils in Frey's book aren't accurate, but now 3.5 million people know about our oasis of really good-looking people.
5. The next time someone calls you a puss for any reason, ask them how many students from their school had a root canal without Novacaine!
6. No Spring Break plans? Just go on four-day crack binge and drive up the East Coast. Chances are, you'll end up on a plane to Chicago.
7. Relationship problems are an unavoidable part of college. When you appear on "Larry King Live" to talk about them, consider yourself desperate.
8. No one ever believes your drunken stories? Just call them memoirs and takes the train to NYT best-selling success.
9. If a professor get on you about the integrity of your next term paper just blame it on your publisher and walk away.
10. Regularly disorderly when leaving Brews? Ask for Sgt. Dudgeon- it's the closest your shenanigans will ever get to Frey.