Jun 06, 2004 14:00
Found this on Ebaums- quite funny, and many are very very true.
FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they
are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe
how a woman looks this will cause you to have one of those arguments.
FIVE MINUTES
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your
football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's
an even trade.
NOTHING
This means "something", and you should be on your toes.
"Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman
has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. 'Nothing"
usually signifies an
argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with 'Fine'.
GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows)
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over
"Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine".
GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)
This means "I give up" or "do what you want because
I don't care" You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead"
in just a few minutes, followed by Nothing" and "Fine"
and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she
cools off.
LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood
by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at
that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and
arguing with you over "Nothing".
SOFT SIGH
Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs"
mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and
she will stay content.
THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make
to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long
and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done.
"That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine"
and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow.
GO AHEAD.
At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty
big trouble.
PLEASE DO
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the
chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing
whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth,
so be careful
and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay."
THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say you're welcome.
THANKS A LOT
This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say,
"Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies
that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed
by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after
the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing."