Divine Confusion
It seems about time for a spiritual journey of sorts. I have been blessed with being able to go to Catalina Island for week to study the Book of Mark , Woot!! Im really hoping to reconnect with God and see if i can reach some point of direction that i kind of lost. I think right now it would be easier if i was just given a road map or one of those video game cheat books to help out in life!
Right now im just so thankful for the things that have happened in my life. There are so many different turns that could have been taken that could have lead me to somewhere else. Im thankful for all the friends that i have made, people that i have gotten to know and even those select few that i have been able to love- though they have never really known it. Im thankful for the new experiences that i have been given and the tools added to my belt to deal with these life stresses. Im thankful to my parents though they drive me insane, that they still have some sort of good advice that i can live by. Im thankful that though i want to be happy in my life, that the Lord allows me to make choices, mistakes, and the common sense to know that His way is best.Though i so badly want to i know that the reasons He says no for certain things is because he has my best interest at heart. Im Blessed that I have someone in the universe that would love me so much that not only would they die for me, but would put up with all my crap, my B****ing and moaning about stuff and still love me the way i am. I can only give credit to the Lord that i am able to still praise Him though my heart is in a confused sad place. I may not understand why these emotions are flaring up all of a sudden but at least im dealing with them and not destructively.
I have no idea what is going to happen. I don't know if i'll be successful in my current efforts in my life or if i will fail completely. All i know is that i would rather take the road that puts it in God"s hands than my own cause nothing that i could, create, orchestrate, produce, weave or write could be as beautiful as what He could do. And that is where i stand
Right now im just so thankful for the things that have happened in my life. There are so many different turns that could have been taken that could have lead me to somewhere else. Im thankful for all the friends that i have made, people that i have gotten to know and even those select few that i have been able to love- though they have never really known it. Im thankful for the new experiences that i have been given and the tools added to my belt to deal with these life stresses. Im thankful to my parents though they drive me insane, that they still have some sort of good advice that i can live by. Im thankful that though i want to be happy in my life, that the Lord allows me to make choices, mistakes, and the common sense to know that His way is best.Though i so badly want to i know that the reasons He says no for certain things is because he has my best interest at heart. Im Blessed that I have someone in the universe that would love me so much that not only would they die for me, but would put up with all my crap, my B****ing and moaning about stuff and still love me the way i am. I can only give credit to the Lord that i am able to still praise Him though my heart is in a confused sad place. I may not understand why these emotions are flaring up all of a sudden but at least im dealing with them and not destructively.
I have no idea what is going to happen. I don't know if i'll be successful in my current efforts in my life or if i will fail completely. All i know is that i would rather take the road that puts it in God"s hands than my own cause nothing that i could, create, orchestrate, produce, weave or write could be as beautiful as what He could do. And that is where i stand