In which elysha expands his notions of reality...
Tonight i delved into Hallucinogens. I tampered with the doors of reality. The drug of choice was completely legal. Salvia Divinorum. It was used by Mayan Shamans for magical purposes. This is what convinced me to take it.
It began with a strange delay. It took about two seconds for it to hit me. I felt like the world was going around in a suspicious speed. I would make the thought to perform actions and then the actions would happen. And then i started melding into the couch. A quickened heartbeat. Colors and shapes fading about.
Evan was talking. He turned off a light. And then. And then i felt absolute terror. I got up. Walked towards him. I was horrified as he left the room.
Am i going to die? Is this the end of me? What will happen when i am alone. He laughed about something i said. "Theres this force, its coming from the middle of the room. And now the other half is gone".
Evan had left for the rest room. However, I had no clue what he was doing. I rush to the back of the apartment. It seemed like forever since he had been gone. I felt like i was a child again. I was afraid in the same way that i was back in the day when dad would whip my ass when i made bad marks on my report card. That strange loathing. Darkness was around and it was creeping in on me. Evan returned. I say "Evan, i don't like this at all. I want this to stop." He just laughs. I am mortified. Evan has suddenly turned into some sort of uncaring villain.
A cruel indifferent god to those who exist in fear and trembling.
I sit back down on the coach and try to accept whatever may happen. I am still terrified. My heart is still racing.
Sitting is no good. I get up. I walk about some more. I go into the kitchen. I pour a glass of orange juice for myself. I feel better when i am walking. The constant distraction keeps me from thinking. One foot in front of the other.
The terror is giving way to distraction.
I sit back down on the couch. Sip my orange juice. I am reclined like a roman emperor. I feel sleepy.
The feelings of terror wear off soon enough.
I hated Salvia Divinorum until about an hour ago. Then i started rethinking the events of my experience. Now i am strangly interested in the terror i experienced. How else will i feel such a thing?
That sense of terror. I just wanted it to go away while it was taking over me. Now i am fascinated by my reactions to it.
You learn alot about yourself by that which produces in you a sense of absolute fear.
It began with a strange delay. It took about two seconds for it to hit me. I felt like the world was going around in a suspicious speed. I would make the thought to perform actions and then the actions would happen. And then i started melding into the couch. A quickened heartbeat. Colors and shapes fading about.
Evan was talking. He turned off a light. And then. And then i felt absolute terror. I got up. Walked towards him. I was horrified as he left the room.
Am i going to die? Is this the end of me? What will happen when i am alone. He laughed about something i said. "Theres this force, its coming from the middle of the room. And now the other half is gone".
Evan had left for the rest room. However, I had no clue what he was doing. I rush to the back of the apartment. It seemed like forever since he had been gone. I felt like i was a child again. I was afraid in the same way that i was back in the day when dad would whip my ass when i made bad marks on my report card. That strange loathing. Darkness was around and it was creeping in on me. Evan returned. I say "Evan, i don't like this at all. I want this to stop." He just laughs. I am mortified. Evan has suddenly turned into some sort of uncaring villain.
A cruel indifferent god to those who exist in fear and trembling.
I sit back down on the coach and try to accept whatever may happen. I am still terrified. My heart is still racing.
Sitting is no good. I get up. I walk about some more. I go into the kitchen. I pour a glass of orange juice for myself. I feel better when i am walking. The constant distraction keeps me from thinking. One foot in front of the other.
The terror is giving way to distraction.
I sit back down on the couch. Sip my orange juice. I am reclined like a roman emperor. I feel sleepy.
The feelings of terror wear off soon enough.
I hated Salvia Divinorum until about an hour ago. Then i started rethinking the events of my experience. Now i am strangly interested in the terror i experienced. How else will i feel such a thing?
That sense of terror. I just wanted it to go away while it was taking over me. Now i am fascinated by my reactions to it.
You learn alot about yourself by that which produces in you a sense of absolute fear.