(no subject)
So after reaching that point with Kaji yesterday I decided to go back and reread my entries starting from when Kaji and I first got together. Lots of crap happened then in our relationship. Chris screwed with it, I screwed with it. There was just alot of mistakes. And as I read over a few I wondered to myself, HOW THE HELL WAS I SO STUPID!? I mean honestly, how could I even love Chris that long? He never huged me, something I can't survive without, he wouldn't even look at me. He never spoke to me and he was just HORRIBLE! I was always crying because of him, and everything was just wrong. How could I have ever thought I'd be happier with Chris? I cried more often than I laughed or even smiled. I always had this horrible feeling, and his paranoia was affecting me. Chris didn't even support me in what I wanted to do even though he KNEW why and UNDERSTOOD everything. KAJI DOES! That just doesn't make sense. Theoretically Chris should be the gentleman and Kaji the asshole. Luckily that theory is wrong, either that or this situation would be very different. Ah well, the point I"m trying to make is, I WAS STUPID! Lol. That's basically it. Cya