Find a way to live
So, elvenlaughter wins at being able to write coherently about things, so, I'm going to attempt to follow her example.
She started talking about romance, and that prompted me to think about dating and relationships and being a single 26 year old. This is what I came up with:
This coming Saturday, there are apparently going to be a group of single women at a nearby club. I know this because a friend said she and her friends are going out to dinner, and then to the club afterwards, and she put out a general invite to us single guys to potentially meet up.
I have, at some point or another, made note of the fact that I know literally NO single women, and I have nothing in my day to day life that would allow me to meet said single women. So, here comes a perfectly legitimate and convenient opportunity (I live less than 7 miles from Santana Row, where the gathering is happening) to meet women. And, my first inclination upon hearing of this is "bah, not my thing."
Item the first: I'm a cheapskate and own literally NOTHING that would be fit for a club. I have work clothes, I have lounging clothes and I have frisbee clothes. I have no "we're going to someplace nicer than the movies" clothes.
Item the second: I don't drink and I don't really dance, and clubs are too loud to have a conversation. I'm much more of a pub kinda guy. Tables, food, (non-alcoholic) drinks and conversation are much more appealing than the whole meat market and dry humping of the dance floor. (also, side note, this will be Saturday night. My ankles will likely complain after three hours of ultimate and restrict me to sitting or lying down).
Item the third: When single women go out, the tend to lay it on REAL THICK. And by this, I mean the make-up and the clothes. Obviously this works as women tend to attract attention wherever they go, especially when they put on this other face. But, honestly, I have yet to understand the purpose of eye-liner. Honestly, if you don't like your face without it, why do you think I'm going to like it WITH it on? Besides, it's just going to give you wrinkles, and you're going to spend a small fortune trying to reverse that. But I digress. Also, high heels. Honestly, WTF? I've picked my sister up from the BART station the past two New Years. The last train coming in always unloads cars full of a rather pathetic scene. Women, obviously inebriated, limping, and wearing a jacket that they did not start the evening with. The jacket belongs to some guy who obviously left his testicles in the pocket when he handed the jacket over. Honestly, New Years is in January. It's in January EVERY YEAR. I've yet to see New Years in June. So, midnight at January. Even out here in sunny California, it can get a little chilly. So why would you NOT bring a jacket? No, you'll just take it from the guy you're with. Now, of course, the guys consistently allow women to get away with this, thereby proving that men are idiots when it comes to women. As for the gimping, the women are limping because they are wearing shoes that could be used to kill people with. Honestly, your feetses, they is important. Why would you voluntarily attempt to cripple yourself? That's stupid. And honey, if your calves don't look good out of the heels, why on earth would you think your chicken legs are going to look good IN them? Take up dancing or running or swimming. Running shoes will do far more for your calves than those stupid heels. You wear those things and then walk slower than the old lady with the walker (AND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAMN PARKING LOT SO I CAN'T GET PAST YOU!!!).
/end that part of the rant
Back to the orignial point: opportunity to meet single women that I am turning down without any real hesitation.
I've always been single, and now that I'm not in high school or college, I actually find that I rather enjoy it. The sheer volume of hormones flying around in academic settings can make being single rather painful. I'm now 8 years removed from high school, and 4 years removed from my undergraduate days. At 26, I'd like to think of myself as a young professional, having had just shy of 4 years of gameful employment. I make a paycheck that covers my expenses and affords me a modest lifestyle. A relationship, at this point, just seems like work. And, in my estimation, it seems to be work with less reward than detriment. I've been on my own for just over a year now. Before this, I was either living at home, or away at school being supported by the family. I'm still very largely supported by my family, but I now make a not insignificant contribution to the family budget (maybe on the order of 15-25%, while my sister contributes the largest portion, probably 50-60%). I rather like this living away from home thing. Not having my mother perpetually nag me and not having my sister try to act like some kind of unwanted intermediary is nice. I'm much more mellow nowadays without the daily family drama. Especially during the summer months when I don't have the added worry of school and I can just focus on work, and then play, life seems really great.
I'm coming to the conclusion more and more that I'm going to prefer staying single, as I don't really have any aspirations to raise a family. I was raised in an Indian family where basically, life is a series of checkpoints you are supposed to achieve: graduate high school, graduate college, get a high paying job, get married, have kids, take in aging parents, put children through school, get children married, retire, be taken in by grown children, babysit grandkids, then die. My mother is 1 of 8 children, and my father was 1 of 4. This doesn't count their cousins who are also part of the extended family (anyone who knows the Asian/Indian concept of extended family can relate). My family is your typical dysfunctional large family, and it has done very little to inspire in me the desire to be fruitful and multiply. My relationship with my own immediate family (mom and sis) is extremely strained. I hold no real affection for them, and it really turns me off towards the idea of having kids of my own, essentially because my personality is largely that of my mother. I really wouldn't want to visit that upon another human being, particularly one who had no say in the matter. Also, the world is horribly overpopulated. I feel no need to contribute to the problem for the sake of satisfying some Darwinian drive to see my genes represented in the next generation, or to satisfy some cultural desire to bear a son who will bear my name, care for me in my golden years and perform the last rites when he lights my pyre.
Kids seem to kinda be one of the bigger end games of a "relationship." Don't want any, so, that's a rather large portion of the deal. Obviously, there are many happy couples who remain childless and still relish in the glow of love. Power to them, they are extraordinary people. I'm fairly ordinary.
I should probably back up a bit here, because I've gone from meeting single women to talking about kids. There's an intermediate phase there that merits discussion.
Dating is a trial and error process. I understand this. I appreciate this. I'm not excited by it. When you date someone, you are going through (hopefully) a very rigorous process of finding out if this person is someone you can spend the rest of your life with. I've seen old people. Growing old seems like crap. I'd really rather not do it. But, I suppose, if you have to do it, better find a good partner. Honestly, given the kind of crap you have to go through to be able to drive, have a passport, get a job, get a degree, get a loan from the bank for a house, the process for being someone's life partner had better be at least on par.
Given how much else there is to worry about in life, this "life-partner" search seems like a rather superfluous chore at times. Like I said, I'd really rather not grow old, and I'm more of a hermit by nature. People just start bugging me at some point.
People in relationships are less available to hang out, and always have to try and think for two. I can see why people would do it, and in a few cases, I can even see how it's been better for them. I've had more than enough estrogen dictate how I live my life for quite a while. I'm not interested in that for a GOOD LONG WHILE. I like being able to drive or walk or bike late at night without having to worry about anyone's safety but my own. I like being able to pick a movie that I want to watch, and food that I want to eat and not having to offer it to anyone else. I like having to only worry about getting my own keister out the door on any given morning or to make it to any given event/gathering. In short, I dig independence. I'm really not interested in having anyone come in and poach on that.
I suppose I'm not completely averse to the idea of a relationship. Women are rather beautiful, and, well, I'm a guy. On average, we think about sex every 6 seconds. I'm surprised the number is that high. Clearly, somewhere out there, there's a guy who has nothing but pure thoughts and he's helping to negate my effect. But therein lies the problem. I'd really only be interested in the sex part. And, I have these troublesome morals and religious beliefs that say "you're an idiot, get it together." It's going to take one helluva woman to help change this. I'm pretty sure I haven't met her yet. I'm still skeptical as to her existence, but, hey, both varieties of Sox have won the Series now, so, anything's possible. If the Leafs hoist Lord Stanley's Cup next year with Ron Wilson at the helm, I vow that I'll act on the first impulse I have to ask a woman out.
More later perhaps, if I haven't too greatly offended anyone or just scared you all off.
Happy Friday.
She started talking about romance, and that prompted me to think about dating and relationships and being a single 26 year old. This is what I came up with:
This coming Saturday, there are apparently going to be a group of single women at a nearby club. I know this because a friend said she and her friends are going out to dinner, and then to the club afterwards, and she put out a general invite to us single guys to potentially meet up.
I have, at some point or another, made note of the fact that I know literally NO single women, and I have nothing in my day to day life that would allow me to meet said single women. So, here comes a perfectly legitimate and convenient opportunity (I live less than 7 miles from Santana Row, where the gathering is happening) to meet women. And, my first inclination upon hearing of this is "bah, not my thing."
Item the first: I'm a cheapskate and own literally NOTHING that would be fit for a club. I have work clothes, I have lounging clothes and I have frisbee clothes. I have no "we're going to someplace nicer than the movies" clothes.
Item the second: I don't drink and I don't really dance, and clubs are too loud to have a conversation. I'm much more of a pub kinda guy. Tables, food, (non-alcoholic) drinks and conversation are much more appealing than the whole meat market and dry humping of the dance floor. (also, side note, this will be Saturday night. My ankles will likely complain after three hours of ultimate and restrict me to sitting or lying down).
Item the third: When single women go out, the tend to lay it on REAL THICK. And by this, I mean the make-up and the clothes. Obviously this works as women tend to attract attention wherever they go, especially when they put on this other face. But, honestly, I have yet to understand the purpose of eye-liner. Honestly, if you don't like your face without it, why do you think I'm going to like it WITH it on? Besides, it's just going to give you wrinkles, and you're going to spend a small fortune trying to reverse that. But I digress. Also, high heels. Honestly, WTF? I've picked my sister up from the BART station the past two New Years. The last train coming in always unloads cars full of a rather pathetic scene. Women, obviously inebriated, limping, and wearing a jacket that they did not start the evening with. The jacket belongs to some guy who obviously left his testicles in the pocket when he handed the jacket over. Honestly, New Years is in January. It's in January EVERY YEAR. I've yet to see New Years in June. So, midnight at January. Even out here in sunny California, it can get a little chilly. So why would you NOT bring a jacket? No, you'll just take it from the guy you're with. Now, of course, the guys consistently allow women to get away with this, thereby proving that men are idiots when it comes to women. As for the gimping, the women are limping because they are wearing shoes that could be used to kill people with. Honestly, your feetses, they is important. Why would you voluntarily attempt to cripple yourself? That's stupid. And honey, if your calves don't look good out of the heels, why on earth would you think your chicken legs are going to look good IN them? Take up dancing or running or swimming. Running shoes will do far more for your calves than those stupid heels. You wear those things and then walk slower than the old lady with the walker (AND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAMN PARKING LOT SO I CAN'T GET PAST YOU!!!).
/end that part of the rant
Back to the orignial point: opportunity to meet single women that I am turning down without any real hesitation.
I've always been single, and now that I'm not in high school or college, I actually find that I rather enjoy it. The sheer volume of hormones flying around in academic settings can make being single rather painful. I'm now 8 years removed from high school, and 4 years removed from my undergraduate days. At 26, I'd like to think of myself as a young professional, having had just shy of 4 years of gameful employment. I make a paycheck that covers my expenses and affords me a modest lifestyle. A relationship, at this point, just seems like work. And, in my estimation, it seems to be work with less reward than detriment. I've been on my own for just over a year now. Before this, I was either living at home, or away at school being supported by the family. I'm still very largely supported by my family, but I now make a not insignificant contribution to the family budget (maybe on the order of 15-25%, while my sister contributes the largest portion, probably 50-60%). I rather like this living away from home thing. Not having my mother perpetually nag me and not having my sister try to act like some kind of unwanted intermediary is nice. I'm much more mellow nowadays without the daily family drama. Especially during the summer months when I don't have the added worry of school and I can just focus on work, and then play, life seems really great.
I'm coming to the conclusion more and more that I'm going to prefer staying single, as I don't really have any aspirations to raise a family. I was raised in an Indian family where basically, life is a series of checkpoints you are supposed to achieve: graduate high school, graduate college, get a high paying job, get married, have kids, take in aging parents, put children through school, get children married, retire, be taken in by grown children, babysit grandkids, then die. My mother is 1 of 8 children, and my father was 1 of 4. This doesn't count their cousins who are also part of the extended family (anyone who knows the Asian/Indian concept of extended family can relate). My family is your typical dysfunctional large family, and it has done very little to inspire in me the desire to be fruitful and multiply. My relationship with my own immediate family (mom and sis) is extremely strained. I hold no real affection for them, and it really turns me off towards the idea of having kids of my own, essentially because my personality is largely that of my mother. I really wouldn't want to visit that upon another human being, particularly one who had no say in the matter. Also, the world is horribly overpopulated. I feel no need to contribute to the problem for the sake of satisfying some Darwinian drive to see my genes represented in the next generation, or to satisfy some cultural desire to bear a son who will bear my name, care for me in my golden years and perform the last rites when he lights my pyre.
Kids seem to kinda be one of the bigger end games of a "relationship." Don't want any, so, that's a rather large portion of the deal. Obviously, there are many happy couples who remain childless and still relish in the glow of love. Power to them, they are extraordinary people. I'm fairly ordinary.
I should probably back up a bit here, because I've gone from meeting single women to talking about kids. There's an intermediate phase there that merits discussion.
Dating is a trial and error process. I understand this. I appreciate this. I'm not excited by it. When you date someone, you are going through (hopefully) a very rigorous process of finding out if this person is someone you can spend the rest of your life with. I've seen old people. Growing old seems like crap. I'd really rather not do it. But, I suppose, if you have to do it, better find a good partner. Honestly, given the kind of crap you have to go through to be able to drive, have a passport, get a job, get a degree, get a loan from the bank for a house, the process for being someone's life partner had better be at least on par.
Given how much else there is to worry about in life, this "life-partner" search seems like a rather superfluous chore at times. Like I said, I'd really rather not grow old, and I'm more of a hermit by nature. People just start bugging me at some point.
People in relationships are less available to hang out, and always have to try and think for two. I can see why people would do it, and in a few cases, I can even see how it's been better for them. I've had more than enough estrogen dictate how I live my life for quite a while. I'm not interested in that for a GOOD LONG WHILE. I like being able to drive or walk or bike late at night without having to worry about anyone's safety but my own. I like being able to pick a movie that I want to watch, and food that I want to eat and not having to offer it to anyone else. I like having to only worry about getting my own keister out the door on any given morning or to make it to any given event/gathering. In short, I dig independence. I'm really not interested in having anyone come in and poach on that.
I suppose I'm not completely averse to the idea of a relationship. Women are rather beautiful, and, well, I'm a guy. On average, we think about sex every 6 seconds. I'm surprised the number is that high. Clearly, somewhere out there, there's a guy who has nothing but pure thoughts and he's helping to negate my effect. But therein lies the problem. I'd really only be interested in the sex part. And, I have these troublesome morals and religious beliefs that say "you're an idiot, get it together." It's going to take one helluva woman to help change this. I'm pretty sure I haven't met her yet. I'm still skeptical as to her existence, but, hey, both varieties of Sox have won the Series now, so, anything's possible. If the Leafs hoist Lord Stanley's Cup next year with Ron Wilson at the helm, I vow that I'll act on the first impulse I have to ask a woman out.
More later perhaps, if I haven't too greatly offended anyone or just scared you all off.
Happy Friday.