(no subject)
RECREATION:
I've gotta start being more "positive" with my recreation time. I spend entirely too many hours doing shit that makes me feel bad about myself. As follows:
a) Drinking: I quit for so long... but lately it's been creeping back into my life. Gotta put a stop to it. I'm not a guy who can handle it. I know this. I've got no internal meter that says "enough." It also acts like a magnet against my moral compass. I have a skewed sense of right and wrong when I'm drunk. Plus... I just feel like crap afterwards. Enough said... the drinking will end.
b) Spending Money: I hate to say it... but I'm gonna have to start getting stingy. First, I just wanna say that I don't begrudge anyone... I love doing nice things for my friends and I always offered. No one was twisting my arm. My policy has always been "If I've got a dollar, my friend's got a dollar." But recently I've been noticing that when I don't have a dollar... certain people aren't really busting their asses to lend a hand. This weekend I got fucked in the ass and when I started calling around to see if anyone could help me out... all I got was a bunch of "Damn, man... that sucks."
Don't get me wrong... I never did anything for anyone or gave anyone anything with a thought about future returns. And there are plenty of people I'll still give my last dollar to... the list is just getting smaller. There's just too many people out there looking to take advantage (intentionally or otherwise). From now on... everyone throws down. As my dad says, "Ass, Gas, or Grass... no one rides for free."
c) Music : Music will have to become more recreation and less work. I can't devote so much of my time to something I'm not getting paid for. Not right now, at least. I've gotta get back on my feet... then I can maybe start shifting more of my focus back to it.
Well... I guess that's it as far as RECREATION goes. Next up... WOMEN. Jesus... that one's gonna be a fucking novel.
I've gotta start being more "positive" with my recreation time. I spend entirely too many hours doing shit that makes me feel bad about myself. As follows:
a) Drinking: I quit for so long... but lately it's been creeping back into my life. Gotta put a stop to it. I'm not a guy who can handle it. I know this. I've got no internal meter that says "enough." It also acts like a magnet against my moral compass. I have a skewed sense of right and wrong when I'm drunk. Plus... I just feel like crap afterwards. Enough said... the drinking will end.
b) Spending Money: I hate to say it... but I'm gonna have to start getting stingy. First, I just wanna say that I don't begrudge anyone... I love doing nice things for my friends and I always offered. No one was twisting my arm. My policy has always been "If I've got a dollar, my friend's got a dollar." But recently I've been noticing that when I don't have a dollar... certain people aren't really busting their asses to lend a hand. This weekend I got fucked in the ass and when I started calling around to see if anyone could help me out... all I got was a bunch of "Damn, man... that sucks."
Don't get me wrong... I never did anything for anyone or gave anyone anything with a thought about future returns. And there are plenty of people I'll still give my last dollar to... the list is just getting smaller. There's just too many people out there looking to take advantage (intentionally or otherwise). From now on... everyone throws down. As my dad says, "Ass, Gas, or Grass... no one rides for free."
c) Music : Music will have to become more recreation and less work. I can't devote so much of my time to something I'm not getting paid for. Not right now, at least. I've gotta get back on my feet... then I can maybe start shifting more of my focus back to it.
Well... I guess that's it as far as RECREATION goes. Next up... WOMEN. Jesus... that one's gonna be a fucking novel.