(no subject)
Take my 'how british are YOU?' test!
This test is designed to help you recognize the inner britishness that lies within each and every one of us. It may also serve as a template for those wishing to become a true, proud brit (yes, you know who you are you fucking wannabees ;D)
Give yourself one point for every question you answer 'yes' to. No cheating. Unless you're cockney.
Please note: we do not wish to offend any non-brits, brits, or texans. We're just having fun. Bless you.
1. Do you drink tea (green tea doesn't count, mate)?
2. Do you drink more than 2 cups of tea a day?
3. Do you sometimes like to dunk a digestive biscuit into your tea?
4. Do you consider it to be a beautiful day when it's only drizzling (as opposed to pissing it down)?
5. Do you think liverpudlians are a bunch of manky no-tasters?
6. Have you ever heard of the word 'scutters'?
7. Do you know what scutters MEANS?
8. Are YOU scutters?
9. Can you sing 'God save the Queen' (those who aren't all that gifted in the vocal departement may whistle)?
10. Do you even like the queen? Score a point if you answered yes, score a point if you answered no
11. Have you ever been to a pub?
12. Did you enjoy it?
13. Would you spend the rest of your life in a pub if you could?
14. Have you ever indulged in haute british cuisine (e.g., have you ever eaten fish and chips)?
15. Would you do it again?
16. Do you know what Yorkshire Pudding is?
17. Do you know where Yorkshire is?
18. Do you know where England is?
19. Can you define the word 'minging'?
20. The word 'slapper'?
21. The word 'tart'?
22. Do you have bad teeth?
23. Are you pale?
24. If I told you to go up the apples and pears with your plates of meat, would you get it?
25. Do you hate the french?
26. Have you ever used the term 'naff off', or 'sod off', or 'bugger off' in a serious manner?
27. Do you enjoy footie?
28. Beer?
29. Do you know the other meaning of the word 'fag'?
30. Do you think southerners are all queen-loving rich 'higher than thou' snobs?
31. Do you think northeners are a bunch of coarse, cow-milking uneducated wankers?
32. Does the sight of the Union Jack fill you with a sense of love, compassion and pride?
33. Does the sight of Tony Blair make you fall off your chair laughing?
34. Have you ever used the word 'bloody' in a sentence (not for fun, but really REALLY used it)?
35. Do you think England is The Only True Country?
36. Is America just a rip-off of our wonderful land?
37. Would you rather screw Prince Charles than Bush?
38. Is there a special place in your heart for princess Diana?
39. Have you ever woken up to the sound of an ice-cream van?
40. Does the phrase 'bangers and mash' mean anything to you?
30-40 POINTS: Maybe it's becuz you're a Londonner...
Well would yeh look at that? You little limey, you! You are an incredibly british individual, with an extremely high tolerance for rain, crap food, and bad dental work. Rule britiannia.
20-30 POINTS: There'll always be an England...
Hmmmm. You're a half-brit. Cheers for taking the test, but please use these questions to research our wonderful island a little. You have brit potential, you just haven't been introduced to all the wonders and pleasures contained in our fair land. Chin up.
20-0 POINTS: Back to Texas with you, please.
What the hell were you thinking, taking this test? You aren't a limey. You don't even have limey potential! You are doomed. I'm sorry. I really am. Maybe you should just stick to hot-dogs. I don't know. I feel your pain, really I do, but we're just not all cut out to be english. Better luck next time, pet.
This test is designed to help you recognize the inner britishness that lies within each and every one of us. It may also serve as a template for those wishing to become a true, proud brit (yes, you know who you are you fucking wannabees ;D)
Give yourself one point for every question you answer 'yes' to. No cheating. Unless you're cockney.
Please note: we do not wish to offend any non-brits, brits, or texans. We're just having fun. Bless you.
1. Do you drink tea (green tea doesn't count, mate)?
2. Do you drink more than 2 cups of tea a day?
3. Do you sometimes like to dunk a digestive biscuit into your tea?
4. Do you consider it to be a beautiful day when it's only drizzling (as opposed to pissing it down)?
5. Do you think liverpudlians are a bunch of manky no-tasters?
6. Have you ever heard of the word 'scutters'?
7. Do you know what scutters MEANS?
8. Are YOU scutters?
9. Can you sing 'God save the Queen' (those who aren't all that gifted in the vocal departement may whistle)?
10. Do you even like the queen? Score a point if you answered yes, score a point if you answered no
11. Have you ever been to a pub?
12. Did you enjoy it?
13. Would you spend the rest of your life in a pub if you could?
14. Have you ever indulged in haute british cuisine (e.g., have you ever eaten fish and chips)?
15. Would you do it again?
16. Do you know what Yorkshire Pudding is?
17. Do you know where Yorkshire is?
18. Do you know where England is?
19. Can you define the word 'minging'?
20. The word 'slapper'?
21. The word 'tart'?
22. Do you have bad teeth?
23. Are you pale?
24. If I told you to go up the apples and pears with your plates of meat, would you get it?
25. Do you hate the french?
26. Have you ever used the term 'naff off', or 'sod off', or 'bugger off' in a serious manner?
27. Do you enjoy footie?
28. Beer?
29. Do you know the other meaning of the word 'fag'?
30. Do you think southerners are all queen-loving rich 'higher than thou' snobs?
31. Do you think northeners are a bunch of coarse, cow-milking uneducated wankers?
32. Does the sight of the Union Jack fill you with a sense of love, compassion and pride?
33. Does the sight of Tony Blair make you fall off your chair laughing?
34. Have you ever used the word 'bloody' in a sentence (not for fun, but really REALLY used it)?
35. Do you think England is The Only True Country?
36. Is America just a rip-off of our wonderful land?
37. Would you rather screw Prince Charles than Bush?
38. Is there a special place in your heart for princess Diana?
39. Have you ever woken up to the sound of an ice-cream van?
40. Does the phrase 'bangers and mash' mean anything to you?
30-40 POINTS: Maybe it's becuz you're a Londonner...
Well would yeh look at that? You little limey, you! You are an incredibly british individual, with an extremely high tolerance for rain, crap food, and bad dental work. Rule britiannia.
20-30 POINTS: There'll always be an England...
Hmmmm. You're a half-brit. Cheers for taking the test, but please use these questions to research our wonderful island a little. You have brit potential, you just haven't been introduced to all the wonders and pleasures contained in our fair land. Chin up.
20-0 POINTS: Back to Texas with you, please.
What the hell were you thinking, taking this test? You aren't a limey. You don't even have limey potential! You are doomed. I'm sorry. I really am. Maybe you should just stick to hot-dogs. I don't know. I feel your pain, really I do, but we're just not all cut out to be english. Better luck next time, pet.