and i will bid farewell to this living hell

[elvenrealm]

i am not good at making any sort of decision. i have absolutely never been good at making decisions and i do not foresee this changing about my personality any time soon. i'm a harmonizer, by nature, which means i do not like participating in activities which could cause a rift. this, most of the time, means decision-making. so, to be this way and to be faced with four hugely distinct paths in my future is causing quite a stir in this brain of mine. 

1. i can choose to stay in my trashbasket town and continue to be miserable. there are too many memories in richmond for me at this point and the sooner i get out, the better i know i'll feel. it will be odd not having my friends, my solid core group, but we are all eventually going to move forward and accomplish our own tasks. the only reason i would ever want to stay in richmond is because i love my apartment and the idea of moving all of this bullshit back out of it when i only moved in a couple of months ago is really frustrating. but, if that is the worst thing about moving out of richmond, then so be it. if i stayed in richmond, i would get some sort of pathetic, shit-ass job that i hated just so i would have enough money to party. sounds like a pretty righteous summer anyway. 
2. i have started applying to jobs across the state at universities as an admissions counselor or something along those lines. i figure it would keep me in the academic environment without actually having to put forth any effort into school. i would get some breaks off, i would be able to take vacation, and holy hell, i would have BENEFITS. this word is very important as i'll be 26 next year and be officially knocked off my parents' health insurance. i'm already losing the perks of being on their auto insurance plan. i am such a spoiled, first-world brat. anyway. this job situation could be cool. i will not know for a time, though, if i procured one of these jobs. 
3. i have been offered at least 10+ jobs teaching in south korea. this, too, is highly tempting and here's why: they pay your flight to and from home, they pay for your apartment, they pay you ACTUAL money, and they pay for half of your health insurance. there are so many opportunities to save, plus opportunities to travel across the world doing shit like this. for a 24 year old, single, not-tied-down young woman such as myself, who obviously loves to travel, why would i not choose this option? out of fear, i suppose. the idea of moving out of my country scares the living fucking shit out of me, especially to a country where English is not the first language. i know it's just a comfort zone thing and that if i were to do it, i would adjust rather quickly. it's just growing the gonads and actually doing it. it would be a great experience for me. i'm friendly, usually pretty well-liked, and love cultures. 
4. i was admitted to the Master of Library Science program at the University of Washington. it is the 4th best school in the field and as such, it is very hard for me to think of denying such an opportunity. i am worried about funding and about the money it would take to move to Seattle, but goddamn! Seattle?! how much more perfect can a city be for a person like me? i have until April 15 to tell them whether or not i will be attending. i have a lot of decisions to make. 

so yes. i currently am struggling right now to figure out what option is going to be the best for me in the long run. i was so against going to school, but i was also convinced i was not going to be accepted.

my comprehensive exams are in two weeks. eek.

that's about it.