(no subject)
Ever get that feeling...when you can tell that someone is living that should have never been granted life? Ever think of what it would be like if one person, who could be your friend, or might not be your friend, never was? What if one person around you, either friend or foe, was never born....How would your life be different? I can't begin to express how mine would change...
I bled too much for you, in fact...why did I ever bleed once for you? Why did you deserve my blood? I spent time with you, I sacrificed for you...for no recognition. I actually thought you, of all people, was the person for me...and I was wrong. If you never existed, maybe I would feel sane again. You make me feel like I ripped your heart out, threw it on the floor, burnt it, then fed it to rats...you make me feel like I am in the wrong. I....am....NOT.....in the wrong. I have people waiting on me and all you are doing is standing in the way. It's not fair that you get everything you want when your evil reins. You do nothing to show gratitude. People care for you...at least...you think they do. Family - is a given. They will always care for you. Friends - have a wider collection of masks than your boundless wasteland of hatred and jealousy. My eyes wept for you, my mind thought of you. I cried myself to sleep because I thought I was treating you bad...I thought it was me all along - and now I realize it was never me. I wouldn't bow down to your "greatness". I wouldn't treat you like a queen just because everyone else did. Some are afraid to admit to you that you are helping ruin their social life...you'll "get mad and pitch a fit", but then they'll be expected by you to gallop back with arms wide open, ready to perform your dirty work. I spent MY money on you...I never had much of it to spend, but I did. I shared personal feelings with you and did things with you I wish I could take back. You're so non-deserving..and I saw it in the beginning. To THINK...I almost came back to you. You want to know how close I was to loving you again? I wanted to tell you but I was afraid...afraid that I WOULD HURT YOU....HURT YOUR PRECIOUS LITTLE SOUL. You TORTURED mine...you can't be human, you can't be real. If there is a God...Why would he create your strongest characteristics? :
jealousy
rudeness
hatred
selfishness
evilness
spite
wickedness
revenge
...heartless...
jealousy - of your friends having other friends beside you.
rudeness - when you don't get your way EXACTLY.
hatred - toward people who don't bow don't to your every footstep.
selfishness - all for you - none for anyone else, all gratitude is deleted before it even crosses your mind.
evilness - what you use to get exactly what you want from everyone.
spite - what you show in abundance to others.
wickedness - consumes your soul and fuels the very center of your BLACK HEART.
revenge - what you must have in order to make yourself feel better even though you are WRONG.
heartlessness - the piercing arrow you sent through me, triggering my every self mutilating, self hating, loathing action.
Why was I hand selected to endure your torture? Please don't bring this to anyone else. I wouldn't want anyone else hurt by you. Some day you'll realize it all, I can't wait until you're allllll grown up.
I bled too much for you, in fact...why did I ever bleed once for you? Why did you deserve my blood? I spent time with you, I sacrificed for you...for no recognition. I actually thought you, of all people, was the person for me...and I was wrong. If you never existed, maybe I would feel sane again. You make me feel like I ripped your heart out, threw it on the floor, burnt it, then fed it to rats...you make me feel like I am in the wrong. I....am....NOT.....in the wrong. I have people waiting on me and all you are doing is standing in the way. It's not fair that you get everything you want when your evil reins. You do nothing to show gratitude. People care for you...at least...you think they do. Family - is a given. They will always care for you. Friends - have a wider collection of masks than your boundless wasteland of hatred and jealousy. My eyes wept for you, my mind thought of you. I cried myself to sleep because I thought I was treating you bad...I thought it was me all along - and now I realize it was never me. I wouldn't bow down to your "greatness". I wouldn't treat you like a queen just because everyone else did. Some are afraid to admit to you that you are helping ruin their social life...you'll "get mad and pitch a fit", but then they'll be expected by you to gallop back with arms wide open, ready to perform your dirty work. I spent MY money on you...I never had much of it to spend, but I did. I shared personal feelings with you and did things with you I wish I could take back. You're so non-deserving..and I saw it in the beginning. To THINK...I almost came back to you. You want to know how close I was to loving you again? I wanted to tell you but I was afraid...afraid that I WOULD HURT YOU....HURT YOUR PRECIOUS LITTLE SOUL. You TORTURED mine...you can't be human, you can't be real. If there is a God...Why would he create your strongest characteristics? :
jealousy
rudeness
hatred
selfishness
evilness
spite
wickedness
revenge
...heartless...
jealousy - of your friends having other friends beside you.
rudeness - when you don't get your way EXACTLY.
hatred - toward people who don't bow don't to your every footstep.
selfishness - all for you - none for anyone else, all gratitude is deleted before it even crosses your mind.
evilness - what you use to get exactly what you want from everyone.
spite - what you show in abundance to others.
wickedness - consumes your soul and fuels the very center of your BLACK HEART.
revenge - what you must have in order to make yourself feel better even though you are WRONG.
heartlessness - the piercing arrow you sent through me, triggering my every self mutilating, self hating, loathing action.
Why was I hand selected to endure your torture? Please don't bring this to anyone else. I wouldn't want anyone else hurt by you. Some day you'll realize it all, I can't wait until you're allllll grown up.