Have it your way, from Assassins, as performed by Mario Cantone on the Broadway Cast recording
"Have it your way, have it your way ..." you know what my way is? Hot. How about a hamburger that's FUCKING HOT!?!
Don't blame me, I'm from massachusetts!
DIck, you still there babe? orry about that. Ten miles from the airprot, I'm starting to lose it here. Stay with me baby. Talk me down-! You know, DIck in this, the waning hours of youra dministration, it seems approriate to look back ar you long years of public service and to conclude that, as our President, you really bit the big one. Wazoo city, babe. What can I say? And you know what? This cracks me up. I voted for you. Yes! I gave you my vote, my sacred democratic trust, and you know what you did? You pissed all over it! ...Welll, what the hell Guys like you, you piss all over everything. You piss all over the country. You piss all over yourselves. You piss all over me ...yeah, yeah, I know. "Sam, don't say it! Yo're my main man! Guys like you, you're the backbone of the nation! Sammy-!" Shut up Dick! I'm talking and you're listening! You seen a paper lately? "grandma Lives in Packing crate!""Sewage Closes Jersey Beaches" " Saudi Prince Buys Howard Johnson's" What the hell is goin on here, Dick? It wasn't supposed to be like this. It wasn't, but it is. And schmucks like you, you're telling us it isn't. Everything is fine! Its great! It's Miller Time! What Miller Time?! The woods are burning, DIck. What can we do? We want to make things better. How? Let's hold an election! Great. THe Democrat says he'll fix everything the Republicans fucked up. THe Republican says he'll fix everything the Democrats fucked up. Who's telling us the truth? Who's lyring? Someone's lyring. WHo? We read, we guess, we argue, but deep down we know that we don't know. How can we? Oil embargos, megatons, holes in the ozone. Who can understand this crap? We need to blieve, to trust like little kids, that someone wants what's best for us, that someone's looking out for us. THat someone loves us. Do they? No. They lie to us. They lie about what's right, they lie about what's wrong, they lie about the fuckin' hamburgers! And when we realize they're lyring, really realize it in our gut, then we get scared. Then we get terrified. Like children wakin in the dark, we don't know where we are. "I had a bad dream! Mommy! Daddy! Sammy had a nightmare!" And Daddy comes and takes me in his arms and says "its okay, Sammy, Daddy's here. I love you kid Your mommy doesn't, but i do." And Mommy comes and holds me tight and says "i've got you Bubala, I'm here for you. Your daddy isn't, but I am" ...And then here are we? who do we believe? who do we trust? what do we do?
We do the only thing we can do. We kill the President.
Don't blame me, I'm from massachusetts!
DIck, you still there babe? orry about that. Ten miles from the airprot, I'm starting to lose it here. Stay with me baby. Talk me down-! You know, DIck in this, the waning hours of youra dministration, it seems approriate to look back ar you long years of public service and to conclude that, as our President, you really bit the big one. Wazoo city, babe. What can I say? And you know what? This cracks me up. I voted for you. Yes! I gave you my vote, my sacred democratic trust, and you know what you did? You pissed all over it! ...Welll, what the hell Guys like you, you piss all over everything. You piss all over the country. You piss all over yourselves. You piss all over me ...yeah, yeah, I know. "Sam, don't say it! Yo're my main man! Guys like you, you're the backbone of the nation! Sammy-!" Shut up Dick! I'm talking and you're listening! You seen a paper lately? "grandma Lives in Packing crate!""Sewage Closes Jersey Beaches" " Saudi Prince Buys Howard Johnson's" What the hell is goin on here, Dick? It wasn't supposed to be like this. It wasn't, but it is. And schmucks like you, you're telling us it isn't. Everything is fine! Its great! It's Miller Time! What Miller Time?! The woods are burning, DIck. What can we do? We want to make things better. How? Let's hold an election! Great. THe Democrat says he'll fix everything the Republicans fucked up. THe Republican says he'll fix everything the Democrats fucked up. Who's telling us the truth? Who's lyring? Someone's lyring. WHo? We read, we guess, we argue, but deep down we know that we don't know. How can we? Oil embargos, megatons, holes in the ozone. Who can understand this crap? We need to blieve, to trust like little kids, that someone wants what's best for us, that someone's looking out for us. THat someone loves us. Do they? No. They lie to us. They lie about what's right, they lie about what's wrong, they lie about the fuckin' hamburgers! And when we realize they're lyring, really realize it in our gut, then we get scared. Then we get terrified. Like children wakin in the dark, we don't know where we are. "I had a bad dream! Mommy! Daddy! Sammy had a nightmare!" And Daddy comes and takes me in his arms and says "its okay, Sammy, Daddy's here. I love you kid Your mommy doesn't, but i do." And Mommy comes and holds me tight and says "i've got you Bubala, I'm here for you. Your daddy isn't, but I am" ...And then here are we? who do we believe? who do we trust? what do we do?
We do the only thing we can do. We kill the President.