and why do you look whenyou alreadyfound it.

[elusive_sheep]

why can't i have anything to call my own.
i wish i had someone always there for me, when i needed them.
i wish i had a bestfriend. a true friend i could trust. talk to about anything. a friendship with history; with seven years worth of memories, similarities. ironically; only knowing eachother for a month.
i wish i had everything i wanted that i could never have.
i wish i could be with him; and he could be here with me.
i wish i wasn't pitied.
i wish i looked like her.
irresistibly beautiful. wanted. not only- second rate.
i wish i could honestly say i am happy.
i wish no one had high expectations of me.
and i wish i never let anyone down. but i do.
i wish i didn't have to wish so much; only to eventually be disappointed waiting in the end. for nothing to happen. or come through.
i wish i just disappeared. and never came back.
i wish you wouldn't pretend to care.