(no subject)
So... This sucks.
I dont know why i rely on others so much to feel satisfied. People get into their work, they get busy with organizations, or they just party like crazy, and their lives are complete; their happy. But I just can't seem to be happy unless I have some sort of meaningful relationships that are a part of my life. And when I lose something like that, it hurts like hell.
So amanda broke up with me. No shit. I saw it coming; i just wish it hadnt happened. I really liked the girl, and i fell for her a lot harder than i thought i had, or planned on. You cant plan for that kind of thing, but still. I wish i werent so vulnerable to getting hurt in this way. I guess im just so willing to get attached to other people, while they on the other hand are perfectly happy with being their own individual selves. I just dont feel complete without people who matter in my life.
I guess one of the biggest disappointments to me is that I had found someone who was seemingly willing to put time and effort into being around me, spending time with me, and getting to know me better. And to now know that shes really not, thats shes too busy, it really hurts. It seems that here at college everyone is either too busy working or too busy having fun to get into any meaningful relationships. They may end up in one, but i dont see people going out of their way to make close friends or significant others; perhaps im wrong, but it sure seems that way with me.
And the fact of the matter is, all i want to do right now is hold her, and i dont get to do that ever again.
Well, at the moment I feel pretty pathetic.
This is just gonna be a great fucking year.
Jon
I dont know why i rely on others so much to feel satisfied. People get into their work, they get busy with organizations, or they just party like crazy, and their lives are complete; their happy. But I just can't seem to be happy unless I have some sort of meaningful relationships that are a part of my life. And when I lose something like that, it hurts like hell.
So amanda broke up with me. No shit. I saw it coming; i just wish it hadnt happened. I really liked the girl, and i fell for her a lot harder than i thought i had, or planned on. You cant plan for that kind of thing, but still. I wish i werent so vulnerable to getting hurt in this way. I guess im just so willing to get attached to other people, while they on the other hand are perfectly happy with being their own individual selves. I just dont feel complete without people who matter in my life.
I guess one of the biggest disappointments to me is that I had found someone who was seemingly willing to put time and effort into being around me, spending time with me, and getting to know me better. And to now know that shes really not, thats shes too busy, it really hurts. It seems that here at college everyone is either too busy working or too busy having fun to get into any meaningful relationships. They may end up in one, but i dont see people going out of their way to make close friends or significant others; perhaps im wrong, but it sure seems that way with me.
And the fact of the matter is, all i want to do right now is hold her, and i dont get to do that ever again.
Well, at the moment I feel pretty pathetic.
This is just gonna be a great fucking year.
Jon