(no subject)
Well its officially Christmas. Christmas eve is over, and so are all of my families festivities. I really wonder what im gonna do for the rest of the night and tommorow... I went to church. Havent gone in, oh, a year. Exactly. At times i dont really know how to feel about it. Ive started to have thoughts about how my religious views are going to affect my parents once im married, and have children... and how im going to bring up my children. To a huge extent its gonna be based on my wife... But a lot will be influenced by my family as well. I took communion, literally my first communion. Ive never been confirmed, and that always kept me from taking communion... but to most people that really doesnt matter, and this time around, my mom really wanted me to, and i saw no harm in it. I dont know how to feel about it though. Ill have to think about it.
My family went out to eat, and we just finished giving out the gifts... since thats the way we do it. I got lots of stylish clothes, and some other goodies; a nice zippo from vineet, which is sweet, and gosh, that kids too good to me. Other than that, christmas hasnt been very eventful. My family spent less, and we did less focused on the holidays, but thats ok, i rarely think those things are too important... i usually focus on the being with the family part anyway.
Break has been good... and bad. Lately its really gone downhill, in a manner that really isnt very becoming of the future. Im really afraid of how some of the friendships, which i thought couldnt be torn down, are going. I honestly dont know how vineet is going to reconcile his issues with reese; and the whole thing, both vineets incredible pain, and the fact that two of my closest, closest friends, are no longer on speaking terms, is really hurting. Mistakes have been made, and i dont know how theyre going to be fixed.
I cant say i havent made mistakes. No, ive made many mistakes in my life, though there are very few things i can look back and say i regret. I recently fucked up pretty bad, and did something i really shouldnt have. It can really result in someone getting hurt, and it was for really selfish reasons. I truly regret it.
I drove around with vineet twice this past week, until about five in the morning. We've had some deep conversations, and ive had some revelations. For one, i came to realize its gonna be a lot harder and going to take a lot longer than i thought to get over lynn. I cant complain, its probably something that shouldve already happened, but as vineet put it "i really think you fell for this girl really, really hard, perhaps more than she did for you." Perhaps. Ive asked myself recently, if she wanted to get back together, would i? I answered that i didnt know, because of all the issues we had had. Today i reallized, if that really happened, im pretty sure i would. Its true its never gonna happen, so it doesnt really matter, and also it would never be the same. But it sure makes it harder to get over it. I feel silly writing so much about this issue, since at this point in time, i guess it shouldnt be a big deal. But its something i havent been able to stop thinking about. Someday i will though.
People make mistakes. Relationships dont work. Theyre all facts of life. It doesnt negate the fact that people truly care about other people, and thats what really matters. If we get over these issues, and realize that we cant let them stop us from continuing our lives, perhaps we can be happy. Perhaps some of you have already realized this. Ill be waiting until then.
Jon
My family went out to eat, and we just finished giving out the gifts... since thats the way we do it. I got lots of stylish clothes, and some other goodies; a nice zippo from vineet, which is sweet, and gosh, that kids too good to me. Other than that, christmas hasnt been very eventful. My family spent less, and we did less focused on the holidays, but thats ok, i rarely think those things are too important... i usually focus on the being with the family part anyway.
Break has been good... and bad. Lately its really gone downhill, in a manner that really isnt very becoming of the future. Im really afraid of how some of the friendships, which i thought couldnt be torn down, are going. I honestly dont know how vineet is going to reconcile his issues with reese; and the whole thing, both vineets incredible pain, and the fact that two of my closest, closest friends, are no longer on speaking terms, is really hurting. Mistakes have been made, and i dont know how theyre going to be fixed.
I cant say i havent made mistakes. No, ive made many mistakes in my life, though there are very few things i can look back and say i regret. I recently fucked up pretty bad, and did something i really shouldnt have. It can really result in someone getting hurt, and it was for really selfish reasons. I truly regret it.
I drove around with vineet twice this past week, until about five in the morning. We've had some deep conversations, and ive had some revelations. For one, i came to realize its gonna be a lot harder and going to take a lot longer than i thought to get over lynn. I cant complain, its probably something that shouldve already happened, but as vineet put it "i really think you fell for this girl really, really hard, perhaps more than she did for you." Perhaps. Ive asked myself recently, if she wanted to get back together, would i? I answered that i didnt know, because of all the issues we had had. Today i reallized, if that really happened, im pretty sure i would. Its true its never gonna happen, so it doesnt really matter, and also it would never be the same. But it sure makes it harder to get over it. I feel silly writing so much about this issue, since at this point in time, i guess it shouldnt be a big deal. But its something i havent been able to stop thinking about. Someday i will though.
People make mistakes. Relationships dont work. Theyre all facts of life. It doesnt negate the fact that people truly care about other people, and thats what really matters. If we get over these issues, and realize that we cant let them stop us from continuing our lives, perhaps we can be happy. Perhaps some of you have already realized this. Ill be waiting until then.
Jon