might as well
well for the sake of updating my life:
oberlin was fun...spent a lot of time drinking and seeing people i hadn't seen in a while and some that i didn't see my last visit. i even saw my ex-girlfriend's brother...what the fuck?! he's cool, and a musician as well. decided she stil hates me...so it's all good. i did call her and say hi...but it was brief and i don't think she wanted to talk to me. so i did my part. good luck in life anna...you're a great girl. anyway....was really drunk for most of my visit. played in commencement band...louder than i've ever played before. i even got a compliment from an alumni in the crowd....it was uplifting to say the least. unfortunately for my dumbass....i found out i was -$900 on my account balance. found out the second day at oberlin. managed to eek my way through thoughj. big thanks to mike, scott, and joel, and everyone basically for helping me out and buying me drinks. another unfortunate "mark is a dumbass" moment was that i missed the ceremony itself. my entire reason for visiting....slept right through it. i'm a dumbass. a drunk one.
got a ride to new york with matty's parents. drove matty's van home with his bro seth...it broke down in pennsylvania...we left it there and crammed into the other car...luckily it was an expedition.
my bday was fun...went out to dinner with family. hung out with drowning nereid the night before and her friend michelle...who's also from san diego....small world. fun times. the next day i lost my wallet. yeah. dumbass.
a week later i lose my phone.
and here we are. yesterday we through a party at the house i'm staying at to celebrate four june family birthdays, my cousin's hs graduation, and my uncle's retirement. my name wasn't on the cake. not a big deal...but no one greeted me happy belated...i don't really care about the material stuff....but it's a little sad that they forget to tell the guests that i was one of the celebrants. sometimes all i hear out here is how fat and how lazy i am. i'm the lost nephew. lost cause. i no longer cast a shadow in the light of their eyes. my brother: hopes to do pre-med, my cousin richie: going to UMich for aerospace engineering on his way to join air force ROTC, my other cousin: doing pre-med at IU in the fall. me? just a fucking musikero. wasted my life picking something that will never make me money. and i'm lazy and fat. "mark you should cut down" "mark stop eating so much" "why can't you be skinny like your younger brother?"
so i ended getting really wasted and sulking....hung out with my cousin though...he's awesome...he's keeping me sane out here. he's going to UMich next semester.....who by the way was fuckin SCHOOLED by USC in the rose bowl this past year. haha.
so in a couple weeks is matty's bachelor party....and then off to illinois for the wedding. can't wait. lots of fun ahead. then back to SD.
on a side note, i had another career choice conversation with my aunt and uncles today. they will never understand what i will and do go through as a musician. but they are right in some respects...finding a way to pay off my loans....is gonna kill me. i've been praying a lot.
bought a crucifix necklace today. i'm losing my faith....and my sanity. i'm trying to find it again. slowly. i will climb this mountain. this is the most trying string of events i've ever been through. and i know it's all a test of my integrity. can i get out of it? i will. i just wish i had some friends out here. it's harder out here. in LA or oberlin it's so much easier to find a door to knock on.
sometimes it sucks to be alone....sometimes it just sucks to be.
oberlin was fun...spent a lot of time drinking and seeing people i hadn't seen in a while and some that i didn't see my last visit. i even saw my ex-girlfriend's brother...what the fuck?! he's cool, and a musician as well. decided she stil hates me...so it's all good. i did call her and say hi...but it was brief and i don't think she wanted to talk to me. so i did my part. good luck in life anna...you're a great girl. anyway....was really drunk for most of my visit. played in commencement band...louder than i've ever played before. i even got a compliment from an alumni in the crowd....it was uplifting to say the least. unfortunately for my dumbass....i found out i was -$900 on my account balance. found out the second day at oberlin. managed to eek my way through thoughj. big thanks to mike, scott, and joel, and everyone basically for helping me out and buying me drinks. another unfortunate "mark is a dumbass" moment was that i missed the ceremony itself. my entire reason for visiting....slept right through it. i'm a dumbass. a drunk one.
got a ride to new york with matty's parents. drove matty's van home with his bro seth...it broke down in pennsylvania...we left it there and crammed into the other car...luckily it was an expedition.
my bday was fun...went out to dinner with family. hung out with drowning nereid the night before and her friend michelle...who's also from san diego....small world. fun times. the next day i lost my wallet. yeah. dumbass.
a week later i lose my phone.
and here we are. yesterday we through a party at the house i'm staying at to celebrate four june family birthdays, my cousin's hs graduation, and my uncle's retirement. my name wasn't on the cake. not a big deal...but no one greeted me happy belated...i don't really care about the material stuff....but it's a little sad that they forget to tell the guests that i was one of the celebrants. sometimes all i hear out here is how fat and how lazy i am. i'm the lost nephew. lost cause. i no longer cast a shadow in the light of their eyes. my brother: hopes to do pre-med, my cousin richie: going to UMich for aerospace engineering on his way to join air force ROTC, my other cousin: doing pre-med at IU in the fall. me? just a fucking musikero. wasted my life picking something that will never make me money. and i'm lazy and fat. "mark you should cut down" "mark stop eating so much" "why can't you be skinny like your younger brother?"
so i ended getting really wasted and sulking....hung out with my cousin though...he's awesome...he's keeping me sane out here. he's going to UMich next semester.....who by the way was fuckin SCHOOLED by USC in the rose bowl this past year. haha.
so in a couple weeks is matty's bachelor party....and then off to illinois for the wedding. can't wait. lots of fun ahead. then back to SD.
on a side note, i had another career choice conversation with my aunt and uncles today. they will never understand what i will and do go through as a musician. but they are right in some respects...finding a way to pay off my loans....is gonna kill me. i've been praying a lot.
bought a crucifix necklace today. i'm losing my faith....and my sanity. i'm trying to find it again. slowly. i will climb this mountain. this is the most trying string of events i've ever been through. and i know it's all a test of my integrity. can i get out of it? i will. i just wish i had some friends out here. it's harder out here. in LA or oberlin it's so much easier to find a door to knock on.
sometimes it sucks to be alone....sometimes it just sucks to be.