(no subject)
I knew the economy was struggling, but this excerpt of an interview with pessimistic economist Nouriel Roubini has taken me aback.
Interviewer: Your predictions of the current economic crisis have been startlingly accurate. What do you foresee in the first quarter of 2009?
Roubini: Continuing tightening of global credit markets...a decrease in global industrial production due to declines in first world consumption...rivers of blood...grown men openly weeping in horror...a weaker dollar in the world's currency exchange...
Interviewer: So your outlook continues to be pessimistic -
Roubini: ...an elderly woman who attempts to cry, but her eyes have been torn from her sockets...
Interviewer: Why have your economic forecasts been more accurate than your more bullish counterparts?
Roubini: The visions, they never cease. When I sleep, when I close my eyes, they are torn into the very fabric of my being. I cannot unwitness the future no matter how I try. Also, economists historically discount the effects of bubble speculation.
Interviewer: When will this market cease to be a bear market -
Roubini: I would take issue with the idea that this is a "bear" market. At least a bear throws you down, kills you and leaves you for dead. I would liken this market to a bear with a time machine who goes back and ruins all of your life's happiest moments before finally terminating you. Or a bear with some sort of multi-dimensional travel device who destroys every possible permutation of your existence.
Interviewer: What advice would you give concerned investors?
Roubini: I advise investors to diversify their holdings. For instance, I would recommend that a portfolio include both sheep and small livestock in case we revert to a pre-industrial agrarian economy. But investors should also start to hold the ears of slaughtered foes, in case the outlook worsens to a lawless post-apocalyptic dystopia where savage cruelty and bloodlust reign untrammelled.
Interviewer: Your predictions of the current economic crisis have been startlingly accurate. What do you foresee in the first quarter of 2009?
Roubini: Continuing tightening of global credit markets...a decrease in global industrial production due to declines in first world consumption...rivers of blood...grown men openly weeping in horror...a weaker dollar in the world's currency exchange...
Interviewer: So your outlook continues to be pessimistic -
Roubini: ...an elderly woman who attempts to cry, but her eyes have been torn from her sockets...
Interviewer: Why have your economic forecasts been more accurate than your more bullish counterparts?
Roubini: The visions, they never cease. When I sleep, when I close my eyes, they are torn into the very fabric of my being. I cannot unwitness the future no matter how I try. Also, economists historically discount the effects of bubble speculation.
Interviewer: When will this market cease to be a bear market -
Roubini: I would take issue with the idea that this is a "bear" market. At least a bear throws you down, kills you and leaves you for dead. I would liken this market to a bear with a time machine who goes back and ruins all of your life's happiest moments before finally terminating you. Or a bear with some sort of multi-dimensional travel device who destroys every possible permutation of your existence.
Interviewer: What advice would you give concerned investors?
Roubini: I advise investors to diversify their holdings. For instance, I would recommend that a portfolio include both sheep and small livestock in case we revert to a pre-industrial agrarian economy. But investors should also start to hold the ears of slaughtered foes, in case the outlook worsens to a lawless post-apocalyptic dystopia where savage cruelty and bloodlust reign untrammelled.