Fic: It's Always Open Season On Princesses Part 21

[elsiesnuffin]

Title: It’s Always Open Season On Princesses Part 21
Spoilers: Through S2
Word Count: 6529
Rating: R
Disclaimer: They belong to Dan Harmon. Whatever he chooses to actually do with them is his business I guess.

AN: So...everyone have a good week?  I don't even remember where we are with this thing and I'm writing it.  Oh, wait.  We’ve finally arrived at party time! Woo!  I don't know about you guys, but I’m hoping for skinny-dipping!


Jeff stared at his reflection critically. It was scary how good he looked. The idea that he could find a vintage tuxedo in his closet that had belonged to Pierce twenty or thirty years ago and that it would fit and look good on him was fairly terrifying, but Jeff was trying not to focus on that fact. He couldn’t think about wearing Pierce’s pants again. He straightened his too-wide tie and frowned at himself in the mirror before pulling the tie off altogether and unbuttoning the top two buttons. Jeff could work the open collar, but he couldn’t wear a wide tie. With a final twist of his purposely-tousled hair, Jeff left his room and paused in the hallway.

Annie’s door was closed and he could hear muffled conversation on the other side. He hadn’t seen her in almost three hours. She’d been holed up in her room with strangers who were supposedly transforming her. Jeff wasn’t sure what they could possibly be doing to her that she wouldn’t still look like Annie.

She better still look like Annie when she came out. She didn’t need to be made over. What was Camilla’s angle? Jeff had thought he would be able to lawyer her a little that afternoon when she’d banished Annie to the house. He’d asked her if she wanted to join him for a swim, swallowing down the taste of bile appearing in his mouth. But Camilla had beat a hasty retreat the second Annie had been out of sight. She had too many other things to attend to. She couldn’t join him in the pool.

Jeff moved down the stairs by himself and was met with a small crowd of people who were already mingling on the main floor. One man made eye contact with him and shot him a look, as if to say ‘what are you doing at our party?’

Unknown Italian man had a point.

Because Jeff had no idea what he was doing there or how any of this had really happened. If asked, he wouldn’t really be able to trace back the last week in a way that made sense. He’d been playing Nintendo with Britta and then he’d paid Pierce a visit and then at some point, it had become okay to make out with Annie. Well, okay with her at least. He would take everyone else one step at a time. And he already knew what Pierce’s reaction would be. Maybe he could figure something else out as far as that went though.

As he strolled through the throngs of people all chatting in a language he didn’t speak, Jeff spotted Rich and Sergio speaking at the edge of the dining room. He really needed Annie to come downstairs soon, because they were his only other option. He slowly walked over to them, ready with a sarcastic quip about the chef coat that Sergio was wearing for the evening. Any Batali-related jokes died on his tongue though. Rich and Sergio were in the middle of a heated discussion, whispering to each other in a mixture of English and Italian. Rich pointed emphatically at Sergio and then waved his hand upward before he noticed Jeff.

“Jeff,” he greeted, making his smile as convincing as possible. Jeff returned it quickly before narrowing his eyes toward the crowd five feet to their left.

“Do you know any of these people?” Jeff asked Sergio, quirking an eyebrow at the Italian.

“Friends of Camilla’s?” Sergio guessed and Jeff didn’t miss the look of annoyance that Rich shot in the chef’s direction.

“I know I shouldn’t care because this is Pierce’s house,” Jeff noted dryly as he looked back over his shoulder. “But how do we…” A short man with a bad toupee and three chins stepped out of the way and she came into view. Something seized up fiercely in his chest and Jeff actually heard part of a whimper escape his throat. “Holy crap,” he muttered to himself, his eyes widening. Who the hell was that? She was elegant and sexy and womanly, but was still very much Annie. Her giant blue eyes scanned the crowd and Jeff felt a desperate embarrassing hope that he was who she was looking for. Their eyes met across the crowded room, and just like in every cheesy clichéd movie he’d never watched, her smile was real and it was for him and Jeff knew now what that feeling was in his chest.

It was terror.

Because if this Annie was the same as book bag-toting Annie and gun-slinging Annie and occasionally crazy-pants Annie, if Jeff had to reconcile in his head that they were all the same person as the woman who was smiling at him, things were going to get really complicated for him.

“Jeff?” he heard Rich ask from behind him, but he couldn’t manage more than half a nod in the doctor’s direction before he was moving across the room toward her in a way he hoped at least looked nonchalant. He watched her pull her lip inward to chew on it and stop before flattening her palms against her dress to smooth down non-existent wrinkles.

“Hi,” Annie greeted him, the nerves obvious in her voice and Jeff grinned at her.

“Hey.” He let his eyes move slowly down her form, taking in everything at a leisurely pace that made Annie’s arms move restlessly at her sides. “New dress?” he asked when he met her gaze again.

She colored and brushed a strand of hair out of her eyes. “Yeah.” Her eyelashes fluttered at him demurely. “Does it look okay?” Somewhere behind her put-on affectations, there was a real uncertainty to her words. That realization made Jeff suck in a lungful of air.

Did she really not know?

His eyebrows shot up. “That…isn’t a dress,” he said smoothly. “It’s an Audrey Hepburn movie.”

Annie’s mouth opened slightly in surprise before her eyes clouded over. After that, they narrowed dangerously. “Did you just ‘Jerry Maguire’ me?”

Jeff tilted his head back, searching his brain for where he had pulled the line from. It was good, but he knew it wasn’t his. Shit. He had just ’Jerry Maguire’d her. He winced. “I think so.” He grimaced. “Sorry. I meant…that dress is a…“ Be subversive! “…Jeffrey Jones movie.”

“Who?” she asked in confusion.

Damn the generation gap!

“He was the principal in ‘Ferris Bueller’s Day Off’,” Jeff explained hesitantly, realizing how lame it sounded in his own ears. Annie furrowed her brow.

“That guy with the red hair?” she asked. “Wasn’t he in that movie about the alien duck?”

Jeff quirked an eyebrow at her in surprise. “Yes?”

She chuckled. When Annie’s eyes settled on his suit, she fell silent. “Where did you get a tuxedo?” He glanced down at himself, smoothing his hands down the front of his vintage jacket.

“Would you believe it was in my closet?” he asked, not believing it himself. Her eyes slid down his body and Jeff smiled openly at her.

“It looks good,” Annie concluded in a self-conscious tone, and Jeff knew somehow that it was the tone she’d used in every high school conversation she’d ever had with Troy. Always giving to other people and never getting any return on it.

“That’s because I’m really good-looking, Annie.“ Jeff raised his eyebrows and glanced down at her one more time. “You…” He let out a low whistle. “You look like…”

Annie batted her eyelashes at him. “Like Mr. Rooney?” she asked with a straight face.

“Something like that,” he replied with a nod.

“Annie!” Both of their heads turned toward Rich, who was walking to them quickly with a huge smile on his face. Sergio was at his heels, wearing an expression that Jeff couldn’t place. Anxiety? Was that it? “You look so beautiful,” Rich went on as he leaned in and wrapped his arms around her lithe form.

And she beamed.

Jeff’s jaw tightened in frustration, but for once it wasn’t directed at Rich. It was directed at himself. Why hadn’t he said that? Would it have been that hard to just tell her how amazing she looked? She wanted to hear it from him, he knew that much. He’d had his window and he’d stalled, chosen to banter instead.

And now Rich had his stupid surgeony hands all over her. That was where his hands were supposed to be.

Didn’t Rich know that yet?

“Bellisima,” Sergio agreed as he too moved toward her and then embraced her warmly. Oh. Much better. Rich’s expression hardened slightly and it escaped nobody’s notice. Jeff watched Annie look between the two men before settling on Rich.

What the hell was going on and why didn’t he know about it? The three were communicating without speaking and it was unnerving him. How had it happened that Rich and Sergio knew Annie better than Jeff did? When had that happened?

Jeff felt the sudden impulse to start drinking and decided to chase that feeling. He strode away from the threesome wordlessly, leaving them all enjoying each other‘s company. He needed to regroup before talking to Annie again. It couldn’t be that hard to track down some type of liquor, right? In every direction he turned, Jeff was faced with uniformed butlers carrying bottles of wine adorned with Pierce’s face. Across the room, Rich and Annie were now dancing.

Was this actually a nightmare?

The lack of Captain Kangaroo riding a dolphin and his third grade teacher Mrs. Kingswood coming on to him told him no.

Jeff grabbed a glass from a passing tray and drank it down all at once. The wine was actually really good. How did Pierce fall ass backwards into brilliance all the time? The glass was dropped to a table near the foyer.

“Jeff?” He spun and was looking down at Annie’s wide eyes again. “Is everything okay?”

No.

“Yeah,” he answered with a shrug, trying to make himself seem as careless as possible. “Why would you ask?”

Her face changed, became more distant and Jeff wanted to kick the nearby wall. What the hell was wrong with him? “Okay,” she replied slowly. She cast her eyes down and excused herself silently. Jeff’s head fell back and he let his eyes stare blankly upward. Two faces he didn’t recognize stared back at him before pulling away from the second floor railing they were leaning over.

What the hell?

Everyone in Italy was crazy.

Jeff found himself moving quickly through the growing crowd of people he didn’t recognize. This party sucked. A woman with drawn on eyebrows gave him the once over, but he was too distracted to even care, let alone do something about it. It wasn’t until he reached the kitchen that Jeff paused to breathe. Several feet away, Sergio had taken over a job as bartender. “Giotto,” he called boisterously, waving him over. “Would you like a bellini?”

Jeff regarded him unsurely. “Uh…what’s in it?”

“Sparkling wine and pesca, uh peach puree,” Sergio replied, holding up a ready-made glass full of it. Jeff wrinkled his nose, but took it from the chef’s grasp and took a sip.

“This,” he said as he pulled it away from his mouth with a grimace, “is a chick drink.”

“Camilla suggested we serve it in Anna’s honor,” Sergio explained. “It’s young and fresh and innocent, like a peach. Like Anna.”

Would it be rude to punch him in the mouth?

That was how they did things in Orange County.

Jeff knew he was nodding, but couldn’t really feel it. He just couldn’t talk to Sergio and not want to strangle the life out of him. Sergio, who was comparing Annie to a young innocent peach. There was something going on that Jeff was definitely not in on. “Yeah,“ he finally agreed flatly before wandering away from the perpetually happy cook.

Rich and Sergio were arguing. Were they arguing over her? Was he not even in the running? He was the one who had been kissing her. Jeff had to assume he was the only one who was kissing her. Annie hadn’t talked to him about either Rich or Sergio though, never offering information on what her relationship with either of them was.

The patio was surprisingly full of people in designer formal wear, all milling around being classy and foreign in the sunset.  Someone had lit the patio and even the vineyard with soft white lights that gave everything a dreamlike quality.  A live band played from the other side of the pool, all dressed in dinner jackets.  Oh, Annie was going to be all over this.  Maybe Camilla really had done this for her?  That seemed unlikely.  A man slid past him and laughed  so hard he sprayed what Jeff could only hope was cheese onto his coat. It was going to be a very long night at this rate. “Jeff,” he heard a murmur behind him and felt his spine stiffen. Turning, he came face to face with Camilla.

It just kept getting better and better.

She was smiling at him in a way that made Jeff nervous. “Are you enjoying the party?” she asked, arching an overly manicured eyebrow.

“Not particularly,” he replied as if she‘d been looking for an honest answer. “I think it‘s the large amount of people not speaking a language I understand and the lack of streaking.” Jeff glanced over Camilla’s shoulder. “Not that I want to see most of these people with their clothes off.”

Camilla smirked at him knowingly. “I would have thought that you would be enjoying yourself quite a bit,” she said as she glanced over her shoulder quickly, searchingly. “Haven’t you seen our young Annie yet?” The blonde’s eyes settled on his again. “Quite a surprising turnaround, huh?”

Jeff glowered at her. “This isn’t ‘The Princess Diaries’,” he stated. “She was already gorgeous. Just because you’re putting her in expensive clothes doesn’t mean you’re making some discovery here.”

"Have you see the way Sergio has been looking at her?" Camilla asked with a light smile.  "I think tonight is when he is finally going to make his move."

"Thanks for the heads up," Jeff spit out.

“Ooh,” Camilla cooed with a knowing smile. “Did I touch a nerve?” Jeff closed his eyes, willing her to just go away.  The idea that he could care one way or another seemed almost shocking to her.

Jeff opened his eyes to glare at her. “I wish that was in some way your business,” he answered.

Camilla’s mouth curled into a scary grin that reminded Jeff fleetingly of the Grinch. “That’s a yes,” she pointed out.

Jeff stared her down seriously. “Whatever you think you’re doing with her, stop it. I’m not kidding.” He crossed his arms over his chest and inclined his head farther downward toward the glassy-eyed woman. “If anything you’re doing hurts her, I will hurt you.”

Camilla’s eyes narrowed dangerously. “I could say the same to you, Jeff. What do you think it is you’re doing with her?” A smirk formed on her face. “Do you really think you can get through this without breaking that little girl’s heart?”

His jaw clenched tightly. “She is not a little girl,” he snarled out, causing Camilla to step back in surprise. “She’s a woman and she’s not here for you to play with.”

Something dark glinted in the socialite’s eyes, something that made the hair on the back of his neck stand up. “I know that.” She stepped into his personal space. “She‘s not here for you to play with either.”

He grimaced. “Do you leak vodka out of your pores?“ He took a breath. “Annie and I are friends,” Jeff responded slowly. “We both know that no matter what happens here, we’ll still be friends.”

“Jeff,” she said in a low tone. “Annie can say that and even believe that all she wants, but it isn’t going to work.”  Then, her face took on a curious expression.  "I mean, don't tell me you actually care about her."

“Don’t you have some young waiter’s ass to be grabbing?” Jeff asked, trying to deflect her.

She wasn’t deterred.

“Don't you think you‘ve put her through enough?" she questioned.

Jeff felt something click into place in his brain. “How often do you talk to Pierce?”

Camilla was clearly thrown for a moment, however she recovered quickly. “I haven’t talked to Pierce in years,” she claimed with a wave of her hand that wasn’t holding onto a glass of wine. “Why would you ask?”

“No reason,” Jeff answered. “It just seems odd that you would spend how much money? How much time and effort?” He tilted his head to the side. “All on a woman you just met."

“What are we talking about?” He rolled his eyes over toward Kevin, who was approaching them with a wide smile. “Great party, huh?” Jeff smiled sarcastically at him, his eyes lighting up quickly.

“I can hardly contain myself,” Jeff shot back dryly. Behind Kevin, Annie stepped out to the patio with Rich at her heels, smiling widely. He was striding toward her before he even realized it. Her eyes widened in surprise at his sudden approach, but she remained silent. “Hey,” he greeted lightly, which he was sure was at odds with the intense way he could feel himself looking at her.

“Enjoying Kevin’s company?” she asked with a shy smile and Jeff exhaled before looking back over at the now-squabbling pair.

“It’s nice that they found each other, don’t you think?” he asked with a sardonic grin that she returned easily. “How do you like your party?”

That wrinkle formed between Annie’s eyebrows again, the one that displayed her worry so well. “Was the point of this really just to get a bunch of her friends drunk on Pierce’s wine?”

“That and to try to get a young waiter into bed with her,” Jeff nodded toward Kevin and Camilla. “Or maybe with them I guess.”

She chuckled and looked up at him with slightly unfocused eyes. “Hey, have you been avoiding me?”

“Uh…” He furrowed his brow in fake confusion. “No. Why would you say that?” Her head turned down instantly and Jeff winced again. “You been having fun dancing with Rich?” he asked, trying to keep the disdain out of his voice.

“Yes,” Annie answered without acknowledging his obvious passive-aggression. “He’s a really good dancer.”

“I’m sure he teaches deaf children how to tap in his spare time.” She frowned to herself. “He’s not that perfect, you know Annie.” Her eyes met his, almost calculatingly before flicking to the side and coming back.

“I know,” Annie said slowly, purposefully.

Crap. She was doing that thing where she read his mind again. He could feel her in there, poking and prodding through his sub-conscious. He tried to think of a reason to distract her from her audit of his brain and focused on her cloudy eyes. “Have you been drinking?”

Annie rolled her eyes. “I am not drunk, Jeff.”

“Did I say you were drunk?” he countered.

“Camilla gave me a bellini,” she responded with a glance back toward the house. “It tasted good.” Her gaze was uncertain. “So I had another one.”

Jeff pursed his lips and nodded. “Awesome. Some Italian guy you’ve known for two minutes has been getting you drunk.” Annie’s mouth dropped open in protest. “I think you should probably stop now, though.”

“Stop trying to parent me,” she hissed.

“I’m not trying to parent you,” Jeff answered. “I am trying to take care of you.” There was a tension between them that he could feel flooding into his lungs.

“Why?” she asked in a quiet voice.

“I’m….gonna leave you two alone,” Rich spoke up and Jeff turned to him in surprise. He’d completely forgotten the doctor was standing there. He watched Rich stride away, an unasked question on his tongue.

“Yeah,” Annie replied, reading his mind.

“Really? Like even when I was…”

“Talking about him? Yeah.” Jeff had the decency feel badly about that. He gave her a sheepish half smile and Annie rolled her eyes with a grin. “Fortunately, I think it takes more than that to offend Rich.” She looked toward the doctor with what could only be considered affection. “He’s pretty great.”

Jeff’s smile froze. “Do you do that on purpose?” he asked her.

Her head whipped back toward him. “What do you mean?”

He inclined his head toward her knowingly. “Come on, Annie.” She swallowed. “You gush over that fake pile of J. Crew,” he motioned toward Rich. “You have inside jokes and secrets with Sergio.” His arm waved toward the house. “You’re doing it to upset me, right?”

“No,” she frowned. Jeff watched her entire face soften and felt a pain in his stomach. Oh no. “Are you?”

She was very good. He actually was almost proud of her ability to so deftly understand which move to make and which moment to make it. There was a portion of him that wanted to gently chuck her under the chin, but it was overshadowed by the far more intense impulse to drop his mouth to her neck to see what it tasted like. How was it possible that he could have so many simultaneous and conflicting feelings for her?

“Do you want me to be upset?” he asked, deflecting as smoothly as he could manage. Annie merely smiled up at him quietly, her expression unreadable. Jeff could feel what was about to happen, but couldn’t stop it. “Fine. Yes,” he whispered harshly, not able to meet her gaze. “I’m upset.” He didn’t have to meet her gaze to feel her smile. He could feel it radiating from her, lighting up the space around her as if she was actually magical.

Maybe she was.

When he trusted himself to look at her, really look at her, he felt his chest give a painful twinge. “You look….” Jeff paused, not able to find the right word. “You…” He breathed and watched Annie’s back straighten ever so slightly. What was wrong with him? He told women they were beautiful all the time, even when he didn't mean it.  And he would this time.  She was breathtaking. That was what he was trying to say, what he wanted to say. It was what she wanted him to say. He couldn’t make the word leave his throat for some unknown reason. Annie let her eyes fall from his awkwardly. Jeff cleared his throat and stepped into her personal space to glance down at her. Her large eyes are on him again, intensely studying him with naked hope. For once, he didn’t guard his expression, letting his smile reach full effect before pulling it back slightly.  “You-” Jeff paused and then tilted his head to the side, taking in the string music wafting toward them. “Would you like to dance with me?”

She looked at him unsurely for a moment. “Jeff, you don’t have to.”

“Annie,” he remarked as he held his hand out to her. “If I didn't want to, I wouldn't have asked.”

She put her small hand in his and he pulled her toward him with more force than was necessary. She fit too easily against his frame and smelled too good and felt too good once she was there. Annie glanced up at him with pink cheeks and the slightest edge of a smile.  It was as if she had her own gravitational pull on him.  He was lowering his face to her neck and breathing out against it.  She shuddered in his arms.  “You look great," he whispered.  Her head lolled ever so slightly to the other side. “Actually, you look amazing.” He pulled back and watched the blissful smile take over her face.

She bit her lip a moment later.  "No one has ever...I mead, Vaughn used to tell me I was pretty.  And my dad, but dads don't count."  Her eyes met his questioningly.

She had used the 'd' word again.  He swallowed.  "Do...I count then?"  Jeff asked with as much sarcasm as he could muster.

Annie licked her lips.  "That depends on whether or not you meant it," she answered simply.  "Sometimes it seems like you're not real."

“I’m not real?” Jeff asked defensively with a frown. Annie shrugged her shoulders and gave him a small self-conscious smile and pulled her lower lip into her mouth to chew on it.  Everything he'd done in how many days had been for her and she was still questioning him.  He knew what she wanted to hear, but Jeff could not bring himself to say it if he was lying.  Especially not to Annie.  Taking a deep breath, he moved closer to her.  “I’m real,” he assured her and reached out to poke her in the arm.  She flinched away with the beginnings of a smile. After a beat of silence, she raised her eyebrows questioningly. There was that face again, the wide pleading eyes that made his resolve disappear every single time. Jeff didn’t give himself time to weigh his options. He stooped down to press his lips against hers. Annie brought a hand up to his neck without pause and pulled him closer to her as she opened her mouth. She tasted like champagne and smelled like peaches and was so small in his embrace. Jeff’s hands settled on her satin-clad hips and he felt more than heard himself groan at the sensation of the fabric under his fingers. She sighed contentedly into his mouth and the sound acted as a lightning rod to his entire body.

A huge splash came from behind Jeff and Annie, casting a light chlorinated spray over them. Annie pulled away from him and glanced in the direction of the pool. A dozen people in formalwear were floating in the deep end, all yelling at each other in Italian. Jeff scanned the crowd near the edge of the pool and his eyes landed on Camilla, who was watching him intently. He glared at her before turning his eyes back to Annie, who was blushing in the direction of the soggy party guests. Their eyes met and she looked at him imploringly. Jeff sighed. “I’ll get the shepherd’s crook and start fishing them out.”

Jeff spent the next hour getting yelled at by wet strangers in a language he didn‘t understand. The lawyer inside of him knew he needed to get them off the property before anything worse happened. Slowly but surely, with the reluctant help of Kevin and Rich, Jeff and Annie managed to stop the party. How was it fair that they were left to clean up Camilla’s mess? He somehow knew that she‘d been the one to shove the group into the pool, but why? It wasn’t until he’d shoved the last slurring Italian out the door that Jeff was able to go in search of Annie again. He found her sprawled on one of the expensive couches in the living room, her eyes half closed as she quietly conversed with Rich, who sat next to her.

Could he settle himself on the half cushion between them?

Or would that be too obvious?

“Hey,” Jeff greeted them as lightly as he could. It was not a good time to stab Rich in the eye like he usually wanted to.

Annie sat up slightly and tried to look more composed. “ Was that how that party was supposed to go?”

“I think,” Jeff answered as came closer, “that it was exactly what Camilla wanted to have happen.” She looked quizzically at him, but Rich’s features darkened to the point that it actually caught Jeff’s attention. Annie struggled to stand up and bent to retrieve the shoes she’d deposited onto the floor by the couch. The movement caused her body to pitch forward unsurely and Jeff instinctively sprang forward to steady her, Rich doing the same from her side. She caught herself and let out a giggle before straightening up with her shoes in her hand. Jeff looked over Annie’s head toward Rich with narrowed eyes.

“I think I’m going to turn in,” she announced with a slight slur. Annie glanced up at Jeff and held his eyes for a moment too long before she tottered off toward the stairs, Jeff’s eyes following her every step of the way. When she was out of sight, he turned a dark expression toward Rich again.

“Okay, what is going on here?”

Rich’s eyebrows rose. “What do you mean buddy?”

“Rich, we are not buddies,” Jeff noted slowly, not really believing that he still had to make that clear to him. “Something is going on around this house and I am the only one who doesn’t know what that is.” He crossed his arms over his chest and studied the rapid changes that crossed Rich’s face. “There’s something going on with Camilla and Sergio and you.” His eyes narrowed dangerously, taking a hold of all of the dislike he’d ever felt for the man in front of him. “What is Pierce’s plan here? I know he has one.”

The doctor’s mouth dropped open in surprise before he could recover. “I…gee, I really don’t know.”

“Rich…” Jeff started threateningly.

“I really don’t,” he answered and raised his hands in defense of an attack that wasn’t going to come. “All I know is that Camilla had a plan for the party tonight.”

“And that involved Sergio getting Annie drunk,” Jeff led the witness. Rich didn’t respond. “Now I don't feel bad for hating you.”  He turned and exited the room, quickly climbing the stairs. When he reached the landing, Jeff approached her half-closed door and paused to give a soft knock. No answer. He slowly pushed the door open.

Annie turned around quickly, her red lips forming on ‘O’ of surprise. “Jeff,” she sighed as she let her shoulders slump. She turned her back to him again to busy herself with taking her hair down, plucking the flower from it. “If you’re here to take it back, do it now.” He stated confusedly at the back of her head.

“Take what back?” he asked, not able to remember anything specific he should be regretting. Other than most of it.

“The kiss," Annie slurred. “That’s what happens next, right?”

Oh.

She thought he’d come up the stairs to talk about discretion. Truthfully, it still wasn’t a terrible conversation to have at some point, but it hadn’t even occurred to him to bring it up. “No,” he said slowly as he moved toward her. “I wanted to make sure you got up here without passing out on the stairs. They would do a number on your back.”

She turned around and blinked at him silently before she opened her mouth to speak. “You don’t want to deny that you kissed me?”

“Which time?” he asked with a smirk and he could actually see Annie’s pupils dilate. She turned her back to him and lifted her hair.

“Could you get my zipper?” she asked in a high tight voice that highlighted her nerves.

Jeff faltered. “Annie, this is a bad idea.”

“I just need help getting the zipper down,” Annie answered innocently, flashing her big blue eyes at him over a satiny shoulder. His fingers grasped the zipper and began to tug it down slowly. Jeff heard himself gulp at the sight of exposed skin and resisted the desperate urge to lick her shoulder blade. That would be a very bad idea.

Probably.

When the zipper was a low as it would go, Jeff gave a little cough. “There you go,” he said in a light conversational tone, as if he was serving her a refill on diet coke rather than helping take her clothes off.

“Thanks,” Annie mumbled breathlessly. “Can you turn around for a minute?”

Jeff’s eye’s widened as he took in her meaning. “Yeah,” he agreed as he spun on the spot and closed his eyes for good measure. The sound of rustling fabric behind him caused Jeff to bite the inside of his cheek hard, his hands working into fists at his sides. She was getting naked. She was less than five feet away and she was getting naked. He knew he shouldn’t be thinking about it, least of all because it was degrading, although he had a hard time thinking Annie would fine it degrading. No, the bigger problem was that she was at least mostly drunk and they couldn’t….do anything if she was drunk. So he needed to stop remembering what she looked like wet and naked and instead start focusing on what Kevin might look like wet and naked.

Much better.

The dress hit the carpet with a soft whoosh and his knees almost buckled under him. It was just a naked woman, he’d dealt with them before. He needed to get a grip on himself. And she wouldn’t be naked when he turned back around.

Wait, would she?

He couldn’t really count anything out when it came to Annie, which put his nerves on edge basically every minute he spent with her. He was just as likely to want to hug her as he was to strangle her. The only thing he’d ever really cared about keeping organized and seperated was his…feelings, and she made it impossible sometimes. All the edges of his carefully structured emotions were getting wet and bleeding together. She was muddying his waters and she didn’t even realize it. Hell, he hadn’t realized it. Why would she?

“Okay,” she murmured and Jeff’s feet shuffled around so he was facing her again. Annie stood before him in nothing but a Human Beings shirt that was clearly about seven sizes too big. She looked adorable. And sexy. “Garrett ordered the wrong size,” she said, motioning to the shirt, that was brushing the bottoms of her knees it was so large.

Jeff’s face wrinkled. “You’re wearing Garrett’s shirt?”

“He never wore it,” she explained with a shake of her head.

“Oh,” Jeff answered, feeling infinitely better when she nodded in agreement. He watched as Annie pulled her lower lip into her mouth again.

Think about Tom Selleck.

Think about Lois, the lunch lady at school.

At least stop thinking about the inside of Annie’s mouth for a second!

Jeff averted his eyes, but it was too late. She moved toward him on wobbly legs, and Jeff met her gaze unsurely. She quirked an eyebrow and Jeff felt his self-restraint pack up shop. When she tugged him down to her by the lapels of his jacket, he went almost too willingly, wanting to give her whatever she was asking him for. Annie’s mouth opened to him immediately and he slid his tongue against hers and let his arms wrap themselve around her small cotton-clad form. She still tasted like champage, fruity and intoxicating and when she groaned and pushed him backwards, he was helpless to stop her. In the back of his mind somewhere he understood how women could convince their husbands to kill, because he was sure he would do anything she asked him to at that moment.

The backs of his knees hit the bed and then he was suddenly sprawled against her duvet. Annie somewhat sloppily planted herself astride him and leaned down to kiss him again. His hands rose to push her hair out of her face before he gently rolled them over. Annie looked up at him with heavy-lidded eyes before giving him a smile that almost snapped his control. He moved in and kissed her again hungrily, letting one hand begin to run up her side.  Would she throw him out if he tried?

He had his answer a moment later as she let out a guttural moan when his thumb brushed against the outer curve lightly. Her head fell back against the bed and her eyes fluttered closed.  He let his palm fully cover her breast and felt her hardened nipple press against his hand. “Jeff,” she grounded out and Jeff’s eyes darted to her face. Forget every fantasy he’d ever had about this woman, the reality was much better than what he’d anticipated. He leaned in and kissed her again and she responded messily, a feeling he was all too familiar with.  No, he hadn’t wanted their first time to be when she was drunk, but she had initiated what they were doing. Jeff pulled away and watched her face as he teased her nipple with the pad of his thumb. Her eyelids were moving too rapidly and then her head lurched to the side. She moaned again, but this one didn’t sound good.

Wait-

“Annie?” he asked gently and her eyes opened slowly, completely unfocused now.

“Is the room spinning?” she bleated out before trying to sit up. “Oh,” she groaned out and flopped back against the bed. "I don't feel good," she muttered and Jeff sighed down at her. “Jeff?" she asked.  It was almost sweet how she had no idea what was going on.  He cleared his throat.

“Go to sleep, Annie.” He took all of his weight off of her and watched as her eyes slid closed again.

“No,” she whined quietly. Within a minute, she was out.

Jeff sat there on the bed, just watching her. She didn’t seem like she was going to throw up or stop breathing, but he wasn’t feeling ready to take any chances. He had no idea how much she had drank or what her tolerance was. Jeff climbed off the bed and lifted her forgotten dress from the floor and hung it up before retrieving a glass of water, two aspirin and the small wastebasket from her bathroom and then returned to the bed. He dropped the glass and the aspirin onto the nightstand and placed the wastebasket directly under them.

Working as carefully as he could, he slid the covers down and then over the top of a still-sleeping Annie. She looked so young and innocent. When he wasn’t dealing with her sharp eyes and sometimes even sharper tongue she did seem as if she was a little girl. He knew better now though, maybe he always had. He’d kept her at exactly arm’s length because while he knew he shouldn’t have her, couldn’t want her, he never wanted anyone else to have a chance. He didn’t care how selfish that made him seem.

Jeff made his decision and started to undress right there. If Annie had been faking to get a free show, she was very good, because she didn’t move. He carefully draped his clothes across the back of her chair and slid under the covers on the other side of the bed. Sleeping in the bed with her was the best solution. He kept telling himself that it was just because he didn’t want her to choke on her own vomit and die. If that happened, it would really ruin his vacation.

It was easier than admitting that he needed to be able to hear her breathing or he wouldn’t get any sleep himself.