Fic: It's Always Open Season On Princesses Part 17
Title: It‘s Always Open Season On Princesses Part 17
Spoilers: Through S2
Word Count: 6082
Rating: R (for language)
Disclaimer: I guess I own Sergio? Maybe? But none of the rest of it.
AN: Whew! Holy cow you guys. We‘ve arrived at chapter seventeen. This chapter is going out to fangirl_101 , who quite randomly requested several weeks ago in the ’Ficcy Friday’ thread Jeff and Annie pick fruit together. This is as close as I could get. Also, I should probably thank supercapo , whose thoughts I outright stole a couple times here.
“Annie?”
Jeff stuck his head into her room, expecting to hear a positive response. When he didn‘t get one, he stepped fully into the room. The bed was made and the bathroom door was open. Okay, she definitely wasn’t in there. Jeff frowned. She hadn’t said that she was going anywhere. It didn’t seem all that likely that she would go off on her own. Of course, she could be with Rich.
Or Sergio.
He was really trying not to assume that it wasn’t just the Italian man’s clear affection for Annie that made Jeff instantly despise him. He just couldn’t figure out another reason to hate the guy. Yet. He seemed polite and genuine and he knew how to cook.
Maybe he’d drugged them all?
That was possible.
Would Annie really go gallivanting off with Sergio after what had happened the other night in the garage? Jeff flinched at the memory of it. He actually hadn’t meant to say it. Sure, he’d been thinking it for several days, but had no intention of ever speaking it in out loud words. His gut had taken over, beating down all the logic his brain could provide him with. But the thing was…she had agreed to it. What kind of game was she playing anyway? It didn’t make sense that Annie hadn’t screamed at him, hadn’t even questioned it. Just flat out agreed. She hadn’t even slapped him. The more he thought about it, the more irritated Jeff got. She had spent the last year poking and prodding and pushing him and every time he’d deflected it successfully. He’d pushed one time and Annie had caved immediately. And it hadn’t been some simple request. Had she been playing him the whole time?
What was he, a lab rat?
Stepping out onto the balcony, Jeff noticed the overcast sky. There had been intermittent talk about going to the beach that day. Rich had of course been in favor, probably wanting the chance to see Annie in a two piece again. Probably wanting the chance to rub lotion on her mostly naked body. Shaking off the idea, Jeff glanced down at acreage and felt a sense of relief settle over him.
There she was, probably two hundred yards away. She was honest-to-god frolicking through the vineyard. There was no other word for it. Jeff rolled his eyes at the sight. Annie actually was a cartoon. Was she dressed by tiny woodland creatures in the morning?
Okay, so it was kind of endearing.
Unable to stop the wide grin from creasing his face, Jeff slipped out of her room quickly and down the stairs. He felt the same strange bubble of anticipation rise in his chest that seemed to be permanent lately. He was practically skipping, for Christ’s sake. Annie was moving away from him, farther into the vineyard. Fortunately for Jeff, her legs were rather short, so it was pretty easy to catch up to her. “So,” he smarmed down to her as he fell into step next to her. “Planning on doing some grape stomping, Lucy?”
She jumped, startled to find him suddenly there with her. She wrinkled her nose at him. “That reference is actually older than you.”
Jeff felt his pride mewl indignantly inside of him. Swallowing down his self-doubt, he smirked down at her. “And you didn’t think there was anything that old, did you Gidget?” She frowned in confusion as they moved forward again. “Seriously, what are you doing?” he asked, hoping not to sideline the conversation entirely into the age difference that existed between them.
The hesitant look she shot in his direction caused Jeff’s stomach to squirm ever so slightly. “I’m…picking grapes,” Annie answered, holding up a basket for him to see. “Sergio said he would teach me how to make jelly.” The smile she’d adopted in the course of the explanation disintegrated right before him and he felt the squirm again.
No. He had to get rid of that face. He hated that face. “So, you learning anything that will eventually lead to you cooking for all of your friends?” Jeff asked with a hopeful waggle of his eyebrows.
Annie shrugged. “I don’t really have a good kitchen.”
“You need to move out of that place, Annie.” He tried to keep the lecturing tone out of his voice and push it closer to the ‘smart-assed buddy’ place, but could tell he hadn’t succeeded when he saw her reaction.
“It’s not so bad,” Annie said defensively. “I can afford it and it’s all mine.” She nodded more to herself than him. “And that’s good enough for me.”
Jeff let his eyes stay on her longer than usual, longer than he should. “And you’re not even a little bit weirded out by the fact that you’re thirty feet away from vibrating cockrings at all times?”
“Jeff!” Annie sputtered, her cheeks pinkening quickly. Jeff smiled down at her lazily and was pleased to see her eyes flick up to him before bristling. “Don’t be gross.” He chuckled quietly to himself as she attempted to pick up her speed enough to lose him. “What are you doing out here?”
He shrugged easily. “There’s nothing good on the satellite right now.” He lifted his wrist to glance at his watch. “But at two, there’s a monster truck rally on that I want to make sure to catch, so….” Annie tried not to smile at that, but didn’t really succeed in the end. “So, seriously. The cooking thing is good?”
She nodded, still seeming hesitant. “Yeah. I never really cooked much growing up, but it’s…I don’t know. Relaxing?”
Don’t think about that dirty guido drug dealer’s arms around her waist.
Don’t think it.
Definitely don’t say it!
“And Sergio is a good teacher?” Jeff asked, ignoring every warning in his mind. He was of course rewarded with a completely troubled expression appearing on Annie’s face. “I just mean that he seems to know what he’s doing.”
Nice save.
“Yeah,” Annie answered slowly, still frowning ahead as they moved forward slowly through the neat lines of vines. She paused to clip a bunch with the shears she carried in her basket before speaking again. “He seems to know a lot.” Her head tilted to the side, giving Jeff a view of the side of her neck. “And he’s really patient with me, which is good since I‘m a beginner.”
Okay, that was just outright baiting.
“You didn’t learn basics in high school?” Jeff asked. “They still have home ec, right?”
She nodded. “Yeah, but they call it Family Science.”
“How progressive,” Jeff smirked.
“My mother didn’t work outside the home,” Annie explained, keeping her eyes trained in front of her. “I guess she decided when I was pretty young that I would be her full time job.” Annie leaned down to cut a stem from the plant, but struggled with keeping the basket in the crook of her elbow. Wordlessly, Jeff reached over and pulled it from her grasp. She voice faltered for a moment before continuing. “When I got to high school and I was pretty much done needing or wanting her around,” Annie said and Jeff grinned down at her, “she realized the only way to justify spending her days drinking vodka and cutting coupons from the newspaper was to put me in every activity that Riverside High offered to females.” She placed two bunches of grapes in the basket and wrapped her fingers around the handle.
“I got it,” Jeff promised, trying not to roll his eyes at her dubious expression.
“Anyway, Family Science was scheduled at the same time as marching band.” Annie chewed her lower lip in consternation as she searched for grapes.
“You were in marching band,” Jeff noted quietly, feeling a smile trying to sneak onto his face. Of course she was in the marching band.
“Clarinet,” Annie answered with a nod. They walked on slowly in silence. Jeff watched her crouch, looking through the low sections of vines.
“Trumpet,” he muttered, grimacing the second it left his mouth. Annie’s head whipped up in surprise, her eyes wide.
“Really,” she said uncertainly and Jeff stared forward in horror.
Why had he said that? Did he really have no control over his mouth at all anymore?
“Only for like a year,” Jeff shrugged. “My mom wanted me to.” He sighed. “I sucked.”
“I never would have guessed,” Annie replied, a wide grin erupting on her face. “You were in band.”
“Not that you necessarily need to tell anyone else that,” Jeff quickly responded. Annie quirked an eyebrow up at him, for some reason surprised that his musical instrument history wasn’t public fodder. “I’m just worried that Pierce would want to get together and jam at some point,” he cracked.
“So,” Annie said as she sauntered ahead of him. “Playing the trumpet doesn’t really fit in with the image I have in my head of high school Jeff.” She turned to face him, walking backwards and Jeff let his mouth quirk up at the sight of her easy youthful grace.
“And what is that?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.
Her lips pursed together and she shrugged one shoulder before replying. “I don’t know. Prom king? Basketball all-star?” She narrowed her eyes. “You slept with the entire drill team, didn’t you?”
“Not quite,” Jeff answered, weighing his options. He could brush aside the entire conversation. The way Annie had been reacting to practically every conversation, she wouldn’t even question it. But there was something inside of Jeff telling him that he could- he should tell her. He chuckled, not really believing what he was about to do. “I was…not very popular in high school.” His eyes focused on her, too anxious for her reaction.
“Really?” Annie asked, her voice small.
Jeff chuckled uneasily. “Yeah. I…was considered…kind of a loser.” Annie stopped in her tracks and stared up at him. Her expression compelled him to keep speaking. “My friends and I collected comic books and watched ‘Star Trek’.” He shrugged. “Apparently girls aren’t really into that type of thing?” She gave him a tiny encouraging smile, and damned if he didn’t feel encouraged by it. He smirked down at her. “Does that ruin the whole illusion?”
Her eyes settled on his in a way that made Jeff’s stomach jump. “No,” she answered, shaking her head. “Was it supposed to?”
Jeff stilled. “I just assumed,” he replied a moment later, his tongue feeling huge in his mouth.
“Well, is that what usually happens?” Annie asked, Her forehead wrinkling.
He inhaled sharply at the question before letting it out slowly. “I…haven’t ever told anyone.” He cleared his throat loudly and gave his head a shake before starting to move again. How bizarre. It was like she was pulling things out of him.
Was she some sort of witch?
“Well, anyway…no.” Annie replied. “In answer to your original question, I never took home ec in high school.” She skipped ahead of him, spying some fruit. Jeff let out a chuckle at the sight of her. When Annie turned to glance at him questioningly, he shook his head.
“You just…sometimes being with you is like being in a musical or something.” He narrowed his eyes at her. “It’s like you’re going to burst into song at any moment.”
Annie rolled her eyes, but Jeff noticed the slight blush that tinted her cheeks. “I’m not actually a cartoon, Jeff.”
He raised his eyebrows mockingly and she gave him a light swat on the arm. “Sure,” he replied. “So the moral of this story is-”
“To tell everyone at Greendale that you played the trumpet?” she asked, her eyes dancing. He shot her a glare.
“Is that when you have children, you have to let them take Family Science,” Jeff nodded. “Or whatever they’re calling it by then.”
“That’s the moral?” Annie asked with a chuckle.
“Yeah,” he answered. “The clarinet will never get them anywhere. If you‘d stayed away from marching band, you might already know how to make your own jelly.” He paused. “As ridiculous as that is.”
“Wait,” Annie stammered a moment later. “Why do you just assume that I will have children?”
The question seemed as ridiculous as if she’d asked how he knew he couldn’t perform open heart surgery. “Annie,” he muttered, lowering his eyebrows. “Come on.”
“What?” she persisted.
He waved an arm toward her. “You’re already Donna Reed,” he said. “You were… made to be a wife and a mother.” She frowned up at him, the little crease between her eyebrows appearing again.
“You think I’m just some wholesome perfect kid,” Annie murmured more to herself than him and Jeff let his eyes settle on her form. “Made to grow up and make babies and go to soccer games and chair bake sales and never accomplish anything real.”
“Your anger would be more convincing if there weren’t animated birds circling your head adoringly.“ She frowned down at the ground. “Annie,” Jeff said in a firm tone, reaching his hand out to land on her shoulder. She physically flinched and Jeff yanked his hand back when she turned her eyes upon him searchingly. They stood in charged silence for a full ten seconds before he watched Annie lick her lips to speak.
“Why did you tell me not to sleep with Sergio?” she asked in a tone that sounded to Jeff’s ears to be rather breathless.
The sudden fear was crippling and terrifying in its intensity. He swallowed down the coppery taste of adrenaline before clearing his throat to buy some time. “I asked you not to,” was what came out of his mouth and he exhaled at his own asshattery.
“Jeff!”
He narrowed his eyes at her seriously. If she really wanted to do this, they could. He’d been waiting for Annie to allow some kind of conversation to develop between them for days. “Why did you agree?” She blinked at him, clearly surprised that he had turned the tables on her so quickly. Jeff watched as her chin started to tremble. God, she was going to start crying now. Why did she always have to start with the tears? It was manipulative and unfair and it worked every time. “Annie,” he said in a low voice, stepping as close to her as he dared. She looked up at him with wet eyes and he tilted his head to the side.
A far off rumble of thunder rolled over them and they glanced up at the sky in tandem. The clouds had gotten startlingly dark in the short time since he’d joined her.
He probably shouldn’t have come outside.
He probably shouldn’t have come to Italy. She was just trying to have a good time and he kept fouling things up with his natural urges and his making insane requests of her. Jeff swallowed over the lump in his throat and let out a sigh that he felt in every inch of his body, his eyes taking in her face.
Fine.
He wanted her. He wanted to touch her and hold her and tell her almost every thought he had in his head at any given moment and every other ridiculously clichéd thing he could think of and he wanted to do it all with her. He wasn’t sure what any of that meant, but it was the impulse, the feeling he’d been ignoring for a very long time. Jeff had never really spent more than an hour or so at a time with Annie, and this constant interaction made it impossible for him to keep his lines drawn where they needed to be. Was he her friend? Her confidant? Her chaperone?
Yes.
He couldn’t be so many things at one time. When he tried, things like his secret high school history fell out of his mouth. She was confusing everything inside of him and all he was left with was the urge to pull her to him and kiss her until she couldn’t breathe. “You know why,” he finally said to her. Her face, still turned up toward the dark sky, drooped slowly until she could meet his gaze.
“No, I don’t.” It was as if she was trying to convince herself just as much as she was him. There was that wrinkle above her nose again and Jeff let out a breath.
“Yes, you do.”
She actually trembled at his words. Her eyes searched his in an almost pleading manner. Yeah, he’d said that he wasn’t going to do this, he’d promised countless people that he wouldn’t, hadn’t even thought about it. He’d lied. He’d lied to everyone and he’d lied to himself, but more importantly, he’d been lying to Annie. She took a step toward him, face still upturned.
There it was.
Jeff leaned his head down slowly and waited for her reaction before continuing. When a ghost of a smile graced her pink lips, he moved closer.
Crack!
The sky lit up bright white and then the thunder boomed seemingly right on top of them and in the next instant, the rain was falling in big cold drops. Jeff heard Annie squeal and began running toward the house. He’d only moved about ten feet when he realized she wasn’t with him. He turned back to find her standing still, staring straight up at the sky. Already soaked, Jeff trudged back toward her slowly. “Um, is it your plan to get struck by lightning, or…”
Annie grinned at him, completely sodden, and Jeff felt his blood start to rush south and closed his eyes for a moment and tried to picture his Aunt Janice in a bathing suit. “It’s kind of nice,” she answered, shrugging one soaked shoulder. He was working very hard at not allowing his eyes to stray from her face to the parts of her body that were covered by a saturated cotton sundress.
“It is?” Jeff asked uncertainly.
Annie’s smile held firm. “Jeff, we are standing in the middle of a vineyard in the middle of Italy.” She brought both hands up to run through her hair and Jeff groaned inwardly. Annie stood in front of him, just trying to enjoy herself and he was perving out about her.
Unless…would she maybe be up for having sex right there in the mud?
“Are you worried that your brand new three hundred-dollar jeans can’t take it?” Annie teased him and Jeff smirked down at her.
After the initial downpour, which had passed very quickly, they were left standing in the middle of a moderate shower. “Fine,” he granted with a smirk. The radiant smile he got in return was actually worth the awkward sensation of wet denim on his legs. Jeff shoved his hands into his pockets and waited for Annie to move. She slowly walked toward him and together they made their way toward Pierce’s house. “I…I didn’t mean that you couldn’t be something more than a wife and mother.” He gave her a sidelong look, waiting for her reaction. She glanced up at him doubtfully. “Just that the idea of you not being a mother to someone is …unconscionable.”
Annie chuckled quietly at that before physically shaking it off. “But you just assume that I will fall in love and get married and do all of that?”
Jeff wrinkled his nose in distaste. “Um, yeah.” She rolled her eyes. “Why is that irritating to you?”
“It’s just…how can anyone know ahead of time whether or not they’re going to find someone that makes them happy enough to spend the rest of their lives with them?” Her chin was up again, lifted in misguided defiance.
“Annie,” Jeff countered. “You plan everything in your life. You cannot tell me that part of that plan doesn’t include a very specific husband and two point five children and a house in the suburbs.”
She pursed her lips. “As a matter of fact, I did have a plan.” She glanced up at him warily before continuing. “I was going to meet him at Brown University, which was always the school I wanted to attend.” Jeff smothered a chuckle. “He would have dark curly hair and dimples and be named Andrew and-”
“-wait, you named him?”
“-he would be on the soccer team and the debate team and know how to cook spaghetti,” Annie finished, ticking all of the requirements off on her fingers. “But I made some choices that were not…”
“Up to Andy’s standards?” Jeff offered, hoping to get at least a small smile from her.
He was unsuccessful.
“And it just made me realize that there are certain things in your life that you can’t control.“
“Weather is one,“ Jeff cracked just as a raindrop hit him directly in the eye.
“You can’t choose ahead of time who to fall in love with. And you can’t claim to know that I will fall in love with someone enough to want to marry them any more than you can claim to know that you won’t.”
Jeff frowned. “I am not going to get married, Annie.”
“Says you,” she shot back quickly, as if she had been anticipating that answer.
Hell, she probably had been.
He glanced up at the sky, still dripping rain down on them. “I’m just saying,” Annie continued as she picked up her pace with a shudder, “that it isn’t out of the realm of possibility that you could feel that way about a woman at some point in your life.” Jeff looked down at her with wide eyes. Was she talking about… “Just like it’s not crazy to think that I never will.”
Jeff paused. He opened his mouth and then closed it again. Getting into that argument with her right now was a colossally bad idea. He was just starting to make actual progress with her, he wasn’t going to throw it all away for the mere purpose of proving how wrong she was.
That particular fight could probably wait.
“Okay,” he answered resignedly.
She smiled at him tightly, happy that she had made her point. Together, they walked toward the house. They remained close without touching, but only because Jeff couldn’t think of a really convincing reason to brush her arm at all.
“Can I ask you something?” Annie spoke up after a minute’s silence.
Jeff eyed her nervously. “Okay?”
She bit her lip. “What…happened to you?”
“Excuse me?” he asked, narrowing his eyes.
Annie smiled in response. “What happened to high school loser Jeff to make him….” She gestured toward him. “…this?”
Jeff peered down at himself, now completely drenched. “Um…” He locked eyes with her, surprised at the charge he felt from it. “I don’t know.” He shrugged his shoulders. “At some point I just knew that who I was wasn’t good enough for me, I guess.”
She gave him a knowing glance that made Jeff immensely uneasy. “It was a girl.”
Jeff glared at her dubiously. “How do you possibly know that?”
“What was her name?” Annie asked, bypassing his response altogether.
Jeff frowned to himself. “I don’t remember.” He was hoping he was being obvious enough that she would drop the line of questioning. Thankfully, she ceased talking at that point and they wandered the rest of the way back to the house in silence.
“I was wondering where you were,” Sergio greeted them, whipping a towel over his shoulder as he sautéed something on the stove. “I was just saying to Ricardo that I was hoping you had not been out in the vineyard.”
“Well,” Jeff replied sarcastically. “Annie has a need to make jelly apparently.” He turned to her with a grin. “You know you can buy that stuff at the grocery store? They even make it with the peanut butter mixed right in now.” He raised his eyebrows at her in a way that made Annie chuckle. When she stilled, her eyes stayed on him, light and happy and exactly how he wanted her to look at him all the time.
Rich ripped the moment apart with his bare hands a moment later, handing them each a towel. “You guys sure did get soaked,” he noted. “I didn’t realize it was raining that hard out there.”
“I thought it was nice,” Annie remarked pointedly and Jeff met her gaze again. She flushed before shaking it off and walking over to Sergio. Jeff felt his chest tighten and let his eyes narrow at the pair. “What have you guys been doing?” Sergio met her gaze and then gave her a small secretive smile that made Jeff feel queasy.
God, what if she already had slept with him? What if she slept with Sergio just to spite him?
Would she do that?
“I’m going to get out of these clothes,” she said to Sergio, giving his shoulder a pat. Jeff counted backwards from ten to keep from tearing the towel from his shoulders and wrapping it tightly around Sergio’s neck. Her eyes skittered up to Jeff’s face and she gave him a wisp of a smile before heading for her bedroom.
“Me too,” he replied and he was trailing after her. He grinned to himself when he realized she’d been moving slowly, waiting for him. “So,” Jeff said when he caught up to her at the foot of the stairs.
“Hmm,” she answered distractedly.
“Do you…” He tugged the towel that was still draped over his shoulders up to rub at his wet hair. “Do you have enough grapes to make your jelly?”
Annie pursed her lips. “You don’t think it’s silly?”
“No, it’s ridiculous.” She stuck her lower lip out at him in a pout and he smiled at her.
She cleared her throat as they reached the second floor. “I just wanted to…” She trailed off and ran a hand through her wet tangle of hair. Jeff watched her, waiting for the other shoe to drop. She definitely slept with him and was going to tell Jeff that she did it just to punish him. He would deserve it. “I wanted to say that I think that whoever that girl was-”
Huh?
“-that she didn’t deserve you even a little bit and that she wasn’t worth whatever feelings you wasted on her.”
Jeff let his eye twitch. “I never said there was a girl.”
She smiled at him softly and Jeff felt something in his chest actually squeeze as a result. “To anyone who really cares about you, it wouldn’t matter if you liked ’Star Wars’ or played the trumpet or were a little overweight or had bacne.”
How did she do that?
“It… was ’Star Trek’,” Jeff argued dully. He sighed. “That is the kind of ‘Up With People-’Free To Be You And Me’-Lady Gaga bullshit that people say all the time, but no one actually means.” Jeff watched her eyes cloud over for a moment before she looked down at her hands, clasped in front of her on the edge of her towel. “Oh geez, you actually believe that, don’t you?” He scrunched up his nose in distaste at the idea.
How could she manage to be so Pollyanna all the time?
She smiled self-consciously to herself. “I just think that…you could shave your head…or gain forty pounds and…” she paused to take a breath and Jeff groaned inwardly at how much he cared what the end of her sentence would be. “…and the people who love you… still will.”
He couldn’t breathe. He’d always thought it was hyperbole when people said that, but he couldn’t draw breath. His lungs had locked up, or his brain had or they were conspiring against him to take him down at the feet of this…this woman in front of him.
Annie chuckled awkwardly at his side and Jeff watched as she tugged her towel tighter around her body. “I’m going to dry off,” she said without meeting his eye and then she was gone, shutting her door in his face.
What?
No.
He moved forward and placed his palm against the wood, waiting for it to open from sheer will. When it didn’t, Jeff made a fist and knocked on it twice. He heard a rustle on the other side and then it was open and she was standing there in her soggy pink sundress staring up at him with her wide eyes and her lips that had told him she loved him and that he was worth something and-
Shit.
Now he had to say something.
Or he could just…
He moved forward and gathered her messily in his arms, tangling one of his hands in her wet hair and letting the other one flex at her waist, before dropping his face to press his lips against hers. She let out a gasp of surprise before relaxing into him and Jeff’s heartbeat picked up when her hands landed on his chest, not to push him away, but to fist in his shirt and hold him to her. He let his tongue swipe at her lips and was gratified when she opened her mouth to him immediately and met him halfway. He groaned into her mouth and she yanked him down further toward her. Jeff went willingly, slanting his mouth against her as he wrapped his hand around her head to keep her close. She was so wet and willing and Annie. He needed to breathe, but didn’t want to stop yet. She let a moan escape her lips that Jeff felt in his groin and a moment later let one hand graze up her side past her rib cage, moving toward her breast.
Annie pulled away abruptly, pressing her hands against his chest to break free from his grasp. Jeff stared at her, his breath loud to his own ears. “I should get out of these clothes,” she murmured. Jeff tried desperately not to smirk at her unintentional porn dialogue. Annie blushed a second later, hearing it for herself, and stepped back from him. “I mean, I need to dry off.”
She shut the door in his face.
Jeff glared ahead.
Uh- what?!
He turned sourly and walked into his own room and shut the door.
It might not be that bad. It wasn’t the worst thing he’d ever done, trying to get to second base with a woman who was born the same year he got his driver’s license. He could go back across the hall and apologize. But there was a fifty fifty chance that she would try to murder him.
So, that wasn’t such a great plan then.
There was a voice urging him into a different action in the back of his head that he recognized, but Jeff really didn’t want to resort to that until he had to. No, it had to be just as helpful and productive to stare into space and think about the way she had smelled wrapped in his arms. He wasn’t likely to end up cold and aroused by doing that at all.
Sighing, he pulled his phone off the dresser and hit speed dial three, waiting for an answer.
“Go for Troy,” Troy mumbled.
Jeff paused. “Troy?”
“Jeff?” he asked, his voice sounding slightly more awake.
“Yeah,” Jeff replied, squeezing his eyes shut. “I didn’t wake you, did I?”
“Nah,” Troy answered sarcastically. “It’s two in the morning here, but you didn’t wake me at all.”
“Sorry.”
“What’s up?” the younger man asked through a yawn. “Did you go down a canal yet?”
“We haven’t gotten there yet,” Jeff responded sarcastically. “Because it’s like six hours away.”
“Dude who calls me in the middle of the night says what?” Troy asked and Jeff rolled his eyes.
“I kissed Annie,” he said quietly after a beat of silence.
“What, again?” Troy asked, yawning again.
Jeff pulled his phone away and glared at it. “What do you mean again?”
“I don’t know,” the black man remarked. “It seems like you guys do that sometimes.”
“Well, we don’t,” Jeff shot back. “…that often.”
“Was it awesome?” Troy asked.
Jeff coughed. “Yeah.”
“I figured,” Troy replied and Jeff frowned.
“How?”
“Well, Annie’s a hot girl.” Troy paused. “And you called me to talk about it, so it would have to be pretty awesome.”
Jeff bit back the stinging reply he wanted to throw out and instead cleared his throat loudly. “Okay, so…what do you think I should do about that?”
Troy laughed. “How would I know? You should really have called someone who has some clue about relationships, Jeff.” Jeff rolled his eyes. “You are into her, right?”
Jeff felt something hitch in his chest. “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” Troy replied. “Starburns told me the other day.”
“What?” Jeff yelped. “How the hell does Starburns know?”
“Dude, it is all over Twitter,” Troy answered. “Aren’t you keeping up?”
“No,” Jeff lied. He had hoped all the Twitter talk would have died down in the time he'd chosen not to respond to Pierce. Now he just had to hope that Annie hadn't seen it before he could talk to her about it.
“Well, everyone else is.” Troy yawned again. “And Annie will see it at some point, if she hasn’t already.”
“Yeah, this isn’t helping Troy.” Jeff dropped to the floor next to his bed and stretched his legs out in front of him.
“I’m not very helpful,” Troy replied slowly. “You should talk to Shirley. Or, ooh better yet, just talk to Annie.”
“What?” Jeff asked. “No, the whole point of this is that I can’t talk to Annie about it. I might want to, but… things are still not that great with us.”
“Gee, I wonder if that has something to do with you blowing her off and then showing up in Italy later on your own.” Jeff sighed into the phone. “Why don’t you just go for it? Seriously, what’s stopping you?”
“You,” Jeff answered honestly.
“Me?” Troy questioned, his voice raising before he chuckled. “Nah, Annie and I aren’t like that. I mean, she used to be in love with me, bu-”
“Not you you, “Jeff cut him off. “All of you guys. Shirley and Britta and Pierce and…and Annie.” Jeff swallowed.
“If she’s one of the reasons you’re talking to me instead of making out with her, then I think that is your problem.”
Jeff laid his head back against the mattress with a soft thud. “She’s twenty.”
“So?” Troy chuckled.
“So that is…a lot younger than me, Troy.” Jeff sighed. “And when I screw it up, I’ll be the guy that she regretted ever wasting time on.”
Troy hummed. “Annie does seem to learn from her mistakes.”
“I’ve been dating for as long as she’s been alive,” Jeff muttered more to himself than to Troy. “I’ve been out there. Annie is just starting. She’s not even really done growing up yet. If we do this, what happens in six months when she realizes she’s already outgrown me?”
“So what you’re really worried about,” Troy reasoned after a moment of silence. “Is yourself.”
Jeff sighed. “Yeah.”
Troy chuckled. “Classic Winger. I gotta tell Abed about this, it will be great in…” Troy trailed off before yawning again. “You know who else could help is Pierce. He is getting weirder and weirder though.”
“How can you tell?” Jeff cracked.
“I mean, who sends random classmates over to their Italian mansion for no apparent reason?” Troy asked and Jeff frowned. “There is something going on with him. I hope he’s not sending everyone over there one by one so he can hunt us on his own land.”
Jeff grimaced. Troy was absolutely no help at all.
“Oh, and Chang let us borrow some of your clothes.”
“What?” Jeff yelped. “Why were any of you going through my clothes?”
“We needed them for filming,” Troy replied tiredly. “What’s with the leopard print underwear?”
“They were a gift,” Jeff spit out defensively.
“Ben said he thought Slater might have given them to you,” Troy answered.
Jeff’s patience snapped. “What time did you say it was there?”
“Two in the morning, man.” Troy yawned.
“Huh,” Jeff answered in an overly bright tone. “Hey Troy, what are you doing answering Britta’s phone at two in the morning?”
“Uh…”
The line went dead.