Life Lessons of Joy
OK... so recently I have learned a couple of things...
While my actual depression has been mostly healed and disbaned... and though married life has been bringing me great joy, life does still supply tough times.
- Just in the past couple weeks, I have been becoming a bit depressed because I don't have a full-time teaching job...
- It took a lot to even begin to turn back toward trusting God to be in control of my life. (I had been trusting Him to provide what I thought I needed and assuming that since I desired it and had worked hard to get there, that I could have it.)
- So today I was finally able to find myself accepting that I will be substitute teaching and trusting that God knows what is best for me and He has much in store for me.
- Well, lately I have also been longing to be closer to God (like I once was)... but I was just having a hard time getting back there.
*NO WONDER! I mean it's really hard to get close to God when you are selfishly pursuing your own will and just expecting God to comply!
- While writing this, a song by Hokus Pick came on with these words: "God never promised skys would be blue... joy without sorrow, peace without pain..." True True!
*While reading 'Authentic Beauty,' I have come to realize:
- Also, I have been lacking in feeling loved... well that ties right into not being close enough to God (and I knew that, I just couldn't get back to it)
- Well... back before I started dating David, I was satisfied being single and I looked to God for support, love and encouragement.
- Slowly, while dating David... While thanking and praising God for supplying him, I began to look to David for a little more than I should. (Even if he provides all the love God made him to give me, it won't be enough if I don't also accept what God has for me... and at that, look to God FIRST!)
- And despite my having noticed this at a few different points before our marriage, I still have not managed to get back to where I was (let alone beyond that to the point of where I will let God be my TRUE PRINCE and romance me.
- Though David has still not truly learned to romance me, I have a feeling that I will not truly be able to accept it and enjoy it until I first accept it from God (and get my life centered back on Him).
*Perhaps God is waiting on fully educating David until I am ready.
- Though I have given my heart to David (and God gave me permission to), I cannot forget that I gave it to God first!
*I need to continually and daily give it up completely to God (and not try to take back pieces of it!
- I cannot allow myself to become comfortable and forget to give it ALL to God DAILY... listening each day for divine guidance on life. (Afterall, yesturday's calling is nothing without God's word for it today.) God needs to be our guide through every step- EVEN if we think we know what the next step is!
SO... While these revilations will not completely supply a means to the healing and growth that I know I need before I can someday become a mother, I do know that I will begin along the right road if I can get back to full trust and reliance on God! I TRULY want to seek Him and His will daily! Lord, help me to do that!
While my actual depression has been mostly healed and disbaned... and though married life has been bringing me great joy, life does still supply tough times.
- Just in the past couple weeks, I have been becoming a bit depressed because I don't have a full-time teaching job...
- It took a lot to even begin to turn back toward trusting God to be in control of my life. (I had been trusting Him to provide what I thought I needed and assuming that since I desired it and had worked hard to get there, that I could have it.)
- So today I was finally able to find myself accepting that I will be substitute teaching and trusting that God knows what is best for me and He has much in store for me.
- Well, lately I have also been longing to be closer to God (like I once was)... but I was just having a hard time getting back there.
*NO WONDER! I mean it's really hard to get close to God when you are selfishly pursuing your own will and just expecting God to comply!
- While writing this, a song by Hokus Pick came on with these words: "God never promised skys would be blue... joy without sorrow, peace without pain..." True True!
*While reading 'Authentic Beauty,' I have come to realize:
- Also, I have been lacking in feeling loved... well that ties right into not being close enough to God (and I knew that, I just couldn't get back to it)
- Well... back before I started dating David, I was satisfied being single and I looked to God for support, love and encouragement.
- Slowly, while dating David... While thanking and praising God for supplying him, I began to look to David for a little more than I should. (Even if he provides all the love God made him to give me, it won't be enough if I don't also accept what God has for me... and at that, look to God FIRST!)
- And despite my having noticed this at a few different points before our marriage, I still have not managed to get back to where I was (let alone beyond that to the point of where I will let God be my TRUE PRINCE and romance me.
- Though David has still not truly learned to romance me, I have a feeling that I will not truly be able to accept it and enjoy it until I first accept it from God (and get my life centered back on Him).
*Perhaps God is waiting on fully educating David until I am ready.
- Though I have given my heart to David (and God gave me permission to), I cannot forget that I gave it to God first!
*I need to continually and daily give it up completely to God (and not try to take back pieces of it!
- I cannot allow myself to become comfortable and forget to give it ALL to God DAILY... listening each day for divine guidance on life. (Afterall, yesturday's calling is nothing without God's word for it today.) God needs to be our guide through every step- EVEN if we think we know what the next step is!
SO... While these revilations will not completely supply a means to the healing and growth that I know I need before I can someday become a mother, I do know that I will begin along the right road if I can get back to full trust and reliance on God! I TRULY want to seek Him and His will daily! Lord, help me to do that!