FIC: The Naming of Things 4/4
TITLE: The Naming of Things 4/4
AUTHOR: Electric Light Shadowboxer
RATING: PG13 for some bad language.
CATEGORY: Slash
PAIRING: Nate/Eliot
DISCLAIMER: I do not own, nor am I associated with Leverage. No copyright infringement intended. This little piece of insanity was written for fun, not profit. I make no money. Literally.
SUMMARY: The Tenth in the Unnamed series. With Blackpoole taken down Nate is free to build a new life for himself, but first, he has to completely shed his old one. Change is both wonderful and painful.
AUTHOR’S NOTE: Takes place after The Second David Job and bridges the gap to The Beantown Bailout Job. Contains spoilers. Note that this series follows the order of episodes on the season 1 DVD’s instead of actual broadcast order.
Eliot and Nate walked down the street, shoulders bumping, and eventually Nate snaked his arm around Eliot’s neck. They were enjoying the cool evening air and having a night out on the town. It’d been a week since Nathan had completed his detox and it was the first evening that he’d felt strong enough to get out.
So much had changed since Nate had left Boston. It’d grown and he wasn’t anywhere near his old neighborhood, of which he was glad, but it still had the same air. It was nice to be back.
They were walking to a restaurant down on the corner that the concierge had recommended, and it was nice to relax and just be themselves. They entered the restaurant and their hostess smiled at them as she handed them over to be seated. The place must have been popular as it was packed. They were led through a sea of tables and a mass of bodies to a small table next to the bar.
Nathan paused and licked his bottom lip, eyes a little wide. Eliot glanced at the bar and felt something in his stomach coil. He turned to the waitress and smiled apologetically, turning his charm on for all he was worth. “I’m sorry, ma’am, but do you have a table away from the bar area?”
The hostess frowned and looked around. “I’m sorry, we’re really in the weeds tonight. I’ll have to check, but I’m not sure I’ll be able to get you another table.”
Eliot opened his mouth to reply, but Nathan held up his hand. “Eliot, it’s okay. I can’t avoid it the rest of my life.” He shrugged. “It’ll be fine.” He took the seat with his back to the bar and smiled at the waitress.
Eliot bit the side of his cheek, wanting to refuse, but Nathan was already sitting down, looking at the menu. If he made a big deal out of this it might do more harm than good. Finally he smiled at the hostess. “This will be fine. Thanks.”
The hostess looked from one man to the other. “If you’re sure?” She waited until she got affirmative nods from both and then backed off.
Eliot watched as Nathan studied the menu. Under the table he could feel Nate’s knee jiggling. He put a hand on his knee to stop it. “Nate, we don’t have to do this, okay? You don’t have anything to prove.”
Nathan looked up from the menu and laughed. “It’s fine, Eliot. It’s not a problem. Let’s just enjoy our evening.”
Eliot felt something in his stomach curl tighter at Nathan’s forced laugh. It was too bright, too loud. Nathan had a horrible fake laugh. It was a dead giveaway every time. He rubbed Nathan’s knee a little and opened his own menu. “Okay, Nate. Okay.”
After dinner Nathan was quiet, withdrawn. They walked down to the shore and along the street. Eliot squeezed Nathan’s hand in his, thumb rubbing circles over the back. “I’m really proud of you tonight. I know it wasn’t easy sitting in there.”
Nathan shook his head and pulled Eliot to a stop. “You don’t have to treat me like spun glass, Eliot. I’m not going to fall apart at the sight of a drink.” He shrugged and licked his lips. “It was fine. I had a good time.”
* * *
Nate lay in the bed, muscles still languid and aching with exertion. He watched as Eliot pulled his boxers on and walked out of the bedroom, slamming the door behind him. Nathan let his head fall back as he tried to figure out what the hell he’d done wrong now. They’d been having a pleasant afternoon, a nice little post coital chat and then next thing he knew Eliot was getting all bent out of shape. This just served to further his opinion that sleep should always follow sex. That way no one could get mad about anything that was said.
Nathan sighed and slid out of bed, pulling on a pair of boxers and sweat pants. He came out of the bedroom and watched as Eliot stood looking out the window. He hadn’t bothered to put anything on but his boxers, and the mid afternoon sun streaming through the windows highlighted his well defined muscles and his suntanned skin. Nathan swallowed, allowing himself just a moment to study his lover. He was beautiful. He could scarcely believe that he was his. He felt a disquieted rumbling in his stomach as he watched Eliot ball his fists. Whatever he’d done to piss Eliot off he needed to fix it.
He came up behind him, arms snaking around Eliot’s midsection as he buried his nose into his hair. “I’m sorry, Eliot. Okay? I’m sorry. Can we not dwell on this?” Whatever this was.
Eliot stiffened in his arms before relaxing and placing his arms over Nathan’s. “You need to do this, Nate. An addict doesn’t do well unless they have some sort of support system set up.” He turned in his lover’s arms and pushed him back so he could look into Nathan’s eyes. “You’re clean, Nate. But it’s going to take work to stay that way.”
Nathan stiffened in Eliot’s arms and tried to pull away, but Eliot held him tight. So that was what this was about. He should’ve known. He stopped fighting and winced as Eliot’s hands gripped a little too tightly on his arms. “Look, Eliot, I don’t need to go to AA. I’m fine. Why can’t we just move past this?”
Eliot looked at Nathan’s eyes, feeling his eyebrows rise in incredulous disbelief. “Why don’t you want to go to AA, Nate? You’ve had a serious problem. Withdrawing from it liked to have killed you! I just want to make sure you don’t have to go through that again.”
Nathan sighed and closed his eyes. “I don’t want to be part of some ‘cult’, Eliot. That’s what places like AA are. Besides, sitting around and listening to how rotten other peoples’ lives have been doesn’t really seem like it’ll be much help. I’m fine, you’re fine, don’t worry about it.”
Eliot let Nathan go and sighed, shaking his head as he watched Nathan pull away and head for the refrigerator to dig out a bottle of water.
* * *
Eliot looked up at the building and then back at the piece of paper in his hand. He felt his eyebrows raise as the bottom dropped out of his stomach. He sighed and shook his head. He should’ve known. Without him there to balance things Nathan would go back to his old patterns.
Eliot hoisted his bag higher on his shoulder and then went in the door and up the stairs. He found the apartment indicated on the piece of paper in his hand and stopped in front of it. He’d been really looking forward to coming home, spending some time with Nate. But if things had gone back the way they’d been before Nate’s withdrawal, he might’ve just wished that he’d stayed in Pakistan.
It’d been a couple of months since Nate had sobered up and the inactivity was driving Eliot crazy. He was fixed for life, never had to work again, but he just wasn’t built for that kind of life. He’d been nervous about leaving Nate alone such a short time after his detox, but he was literally starting to climb the walls.
They had still been staying in the hotel and Nate seemed to be searching for a new direction, unsure of what he was going to do with himself. He hadn’t even been able to settle enough to agree to getting a place to live. He’d just grunted and shook off the suggestion. So when Eliot had gotten the offer of a job in Pakistan he’d not been able to turn it down. Even Nathan had thought he should go.
He looked back at the note in his hand before shoving it in the pocket of his jeans and knocking on the door.
“Come in.”
Eliot opened the door and stepped into the apartment. It was nice, a lot like his old apartment in LA. There were lots of windows, wooden floors, and a nice open floor plan. He sat his bag on the couch, torn between looking at Nathan as he sat with his feet up on the desk and a phone to his ear, and the nicely stocked kitchen. Eliot felt his heart shudder a bit and warmth pool into his groin. Nathan obviously picked this place with him in mind.
“Yeah, that sounds good. I’ll see you then. Okay.” Nathan hung up the phone spreading his arms wide as he stepped off the little raised area where his desk was sitting. “Welcome home!” He came forward until he was standing in Eliot’s personal space. “What do you think?”
Eliot narrowed his eyes, taking in Nathan’s appearance. He looked good. Really good. Even though Nathan had started regaining his health before he’d left, it’d been such a new thing that Eliot had forgotten how different he looked.
Here stood Nathan, hair combed into submission, a healthy, rosy glow on his cheeks, eyes bright and alert, and no tell tale smell of alcohol. He couldn’t forget the sight from downstairs though. “It’s above a bar.”
Nathan stepped back, grin never leaving his face. “What?”
Eliot sighed and tried to hide his disappointment. “You’re an alcoholic living above a bar, Nate. Come on, you can see that’s not healthy. It’s . . . it’s, I can’t even think what it is right now.”
Laughing, Nathan backed off turned around, allowing Eliot to get a good look at him. “I’m not drinking, Eliot. I told you, I’m done with that. I’m working on getting my life back together. Tell you what, it’s hard not to live around a bar in this neighborhood.”
Eliot shook his head and sighed. This was an argument that he wasn’t going to win. Besides, it really was a nice place. “Looks like you’ve got everything under control.”
Nathan stepped back into his personal space and leaned down, capturing his lips with his own, hungrily nibbling on Eliot’s tongue as it was thrust into his mouth. He brought his hands up and captured Eliot’s face.
Eliot had been in Pakistan for months and they’d had to get by on phone calls. Being in the other man’s presence again was like a balm on his skin. He’d been so tightly wound that he thought he wouldn’t make it until his lover came back.
Nathan finally pulled away, grinning and licking his lips, thumbs moving across Eliot’s cheekbones. “You better get a shower. We’ve got reservations for later.”
Eliot was still smiling as he squeezed Nathan’s ass. God, it was good to be home. “I vote we stay here and try out the new bedroom.”
Nathan laughed and started up the stairs. “Later. Believe me, we’ve got time for that later. Right now we need a shower and if you hurry I might give you a taste of coming attractions.”
Eliot ran his hands through his hair. “I’ll be up in a minute. Go ahead and start without me. I’ve got to make a quick phone call.”
He waited until he heard the shower start up and then approached Nathan’s desk. He pulled out some of the drawers and rooted around in the papers, but he didn’t find any hidden bottles and nothing to give any indication what Nathan had been up to while Eliot had been in Pakistan. He lifted the blotter a little and found a piece of paper stuck underneath. Checking to make sure that Nathan wasn’t watching him from the stairs, he opened it up and frowned down at the list. When he finally recognized it for what it was he felt his heart stutter in his chest. Nathan may not be drinking, but it was a close thing. In his hand he held a list of local bars and liquor stores.
Eliot bit on his bottom lip and crumpled the paper in his fist. He was sure that Nathan wasn’t drinking. He looked too good and he knew that Nathan wasn’t the type to be able to have just one drink. If he was drinking again it would show. The question was, what did he do now? Confront Nathan or keep a discreet watch on him?
* * *
Breath still heaving, Eliot rolled off of Nathan and stared at the ceiling. They were both sweating and gasping for air. The last of their cries seemed to echo against the walls of the room. It had been so long since he’d been with his lover and he’d been so ready. He had no idea how he’d managed to make himself last as long as he had.
“Can I take this off now?”
Eliot looked to the side and chuckled as Nathan was pulling at the black fabric covering his eyes. Eliot pushed himself up and leaned in to untie the blindfold. He dropped a kiss on Nathan’s lips as he pulled the silk away. “There.”
Nathan blinked up at him and tackled Eliot pushing him down on the bed as he ate hungrily at his mouth before dropping to his neck and collarbone. “That was amazing. We need to use the blindfold more often.”
Eliot ran his hands up Nathan’s back, letting the silk trace against his wet skin. “It’s a nice tool, but I like looking in your eyes, seeing you as I bring you across that threshold, watching you as you call my name and clench down around me.”
Nathan licked his lips and bent down to kiss Eliot again, this time more serious, trying to convey everything he wanted to say. He finally pulled back and sat down facing Eliot. “I’ve wanted to talk to you about something.”
Eliot frowned, concerned at the serious tone Nathan had adopted. He pushed himself up against the headboard and pushed the hair off his forehead. “What is it?”
Nathan bit his lip and looked away, nerves making his stomach roll. He’d had a lot of time to think while Eliot was out of the country and he’d come to realize that now was the time to address the issue. “You know, when we first started seeing each other I was a mess.” He laughed a little. “I mean, I still am a little, but I’m working on it. I’m in a lot better place than I was. And there are certain things that I need now, that I can do, that I couldn’t before.”
Eliot felt his brows draw down low over his eyes, confusion chasing away the relaxed fatigue of his muscles. “What are you talking about?”
Nathan looked at the wall above Eliot’s head and shook his head. “Christ, I’m bad at this.” He took a deep breath. He was almost certain that Eliot wouldn’t mind what he was about to say. Almost. He licked his lips again. “Remember our first time? When I didn’t know what you wanted from me? And you said that we didn’t have to put a name to it?”
Eliot felt his heart flutter a little. He remembered very well. It was the act that had started him down this journey. “Yeah, I remember.”
Nate shook his head and made himself look Eliot in the face, hand resting tentatively on Eliot’s thigh. “I just realized, you know, it was silly to keep denying it.” He waited for some sort of comprehension from his lover, but Eliot remained silent, a look of confusion on his face. Oh God, what if he’d been wrong and this wasn’t what Eliot wanted after all?
He cleared his throat and decided to push forward. He needed to know. Bottling things up had brought him to a disastrous ruin before. He wasn’t going to let this fester. “Eliot, I’m trying to say that I’m ready to start naming things. Our . . . relationship . . . what we have here. It’s important to me. I love you and I just needed to say that. I’m sorry I haven’t before.”
Eliot felt the smile break across his face before he could stop it. He knew it, in his heart. But it was nice to hear the other man to say it, to acknowledge it. Eliot grabbed Nathan’s hand and squeezed. He could sense that Nathan was a little uncomfortable and needed to break the tension. “Is this where you propose?”
Nate glared at him and threw a pillow in his face. “Great. I’m baring my heart over here and you’re joking.” He was laughing though, glad for the distraction from his feelings.
Eliot kept the smirk on his face as he watched Nathan relax a little. Alcoholism was about the feelings. Nathan was so used to covering his up and medicating them away that it was going to be tough to deal with them openly. He was proud of him and more than a little in love himself.
He pulled Nathan in against him and let his chin rest on top of the older man’s head. “Just so you know, I love you too.”
Nathan nodded and laid a kiss on Eliot’s chest before pushing himself back up. “What are you planning to do now?”
Eliot shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess I’ll spend some time here with you for a while and then see about working another job.”
Nathan settled back on the headboard next to Eliot and bit the inside of his lip. “Have you ever thought about going straight? I mean, you’re a hell of a retrieval specialist. You wouldn’t have to work as a hitter. Your skills would be extremely handy in the insurance business.”
Eliot couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled up out of him. “Come on, Nate. I can’t take a job like that. I’d be bored out of my head. ‘Sides, I wouldn’t be comfortable in that field.”
Nathan rolled his head against the headboard and looked at the other man. “I thought you liked helping people?”
Eliot blinked at him. “I do, but, Nate, I’m not sure that type of helping is really up my alley. Why are we talking about this? I’ve got stuff to do. Question is what are you going to do?”
Nathan picked at the comforter on the bed and nodded his head. “I’ve gotten a job at Boston Assurance. I go in tomorrow to meet with the president of the company and get settled.”
Eliot sat forward and turned so he could look Nathan in the face. “You’ve got to be kidding me, Nate! You can’t go back to doing that! You don’t have it in you.”
Nathan laughed and shook his head. “What? Of course I have it in me. I’ve got my life back now, Eliot. I’m ready to get back into the game, help people.”
“Help people.” Eliot looked away, shaking his head. “You did help people, Nate. But going back to big business this way? It’s not going to satisfy you the way you think it will.”
Nathan glared at him. “Oh, and what will, Eliot? Conning people? I’m not a thief.”
Eliot looked at him, disbelief and anger clouding his face. “Is that what I am to you? A thief?”
Nathan shook his head and tried to backtrack. “What? No, Eliot. That’s not what I meant. I just meant that, you know, what we did, it served a purpose. But now it’s time to move on.”
Eliot shook his head and climbed out of the bed to go clean himself up. “Whatever, man. I can tell you one thing though. What you’re looking for? That ain’t it.”
* * *
Eliot stood in the shadows across the street as he watched Nathan enter the Boston Assurance building. He didn’t know why he’d followed him, exactly. Except that he realized that Nathan was still in denial. Not about the drinking thing, but about who he was. He thought he could just pick up and be the person he was before his life fell apart. But that kind of thing was highly unlikely. No one could go through the things Nate Ford had and not come out a changed man.
Besides, the list of bars and liquor stores he’d found yesterday had him on edge. It was like an emergency plan in case he needed the booze. He could practically hear Nathan now ‘It doesn’t mean anything. Look, I’m not going to drink. It’s just in case.’ Yeah, not happening. So here he was, watching to see if Nathan was really going to go through with this. He’d eat his boots if he did.
About twenty minutes after he’d gone in, Nathan came back out of the office building, loosening his tie and looking around.
Eliot felt a surge of self-satisfaction. He’d been right. Nate hadn’t even lasted as long as he thought he would. Eliot smirked and turned around to head home. He had to get back before Nathan did. He was about a block away when he heard the explosion. “God damn it!” He turned around and ran back toward where he’d left Nathan. Yeah, it could’ve been somewhere else, but he knew that his lover attracted trouble like flies to horses.
He arrived just in time to see Nathan bending over a prone man, a young girl standing next to him. In the street, a car was on fire. He started to run up, but stopped as he heard sirens approach. Nathan didn’t look hurt and help was here. He didn’t want Nathan to know he’d been watching him. Somehow, he thought the other man wouldn’t appreciate it.
Once home, Eliot flopped down on the couch and did something he rarely ever did. He flipped on Nate’s TV and found a local news channel. He sat back and put his feet up on the coffee table, keeping one ear tuned for the sound of Nathan coming home.
He sat through the weather and the noon cooking segment until the reporter came on with breaking news. He sat back, grinning. He really didn’t trust technology at the best of times. Still, he had to admit that it sometimes came in useful. Someone had caught what happened on their cell phone.
He watched as Nathan started across the road, tie loose and a determined look on his face. And hell, Eliot knew where he was headed. He’d scoped that place out good while he’d been waiting for Nathan and there was no doubt in his mind what sat on that corner of the street.
Eliot bit his lip as he realized that he was going to have to get Nathan involved in something sooner than he’d realized or Nate would be getting back on the bottle before Eliot knew what’d hit him.
His eyes turned back to the screen as the squeal of tires sounded from the speakers and he sat forward, heart clenching in his chest as he watched Nate, frozen in the middle of the road, as the car flew over him. When the scene cut away and the news anchor came back on the screen Eliot muted it and sat with his face in his hands.
When he’d arrived back on the scene all of that had already happened. He’d had no idea how close Nathan had come to buying it today. He took deep breaths to try and settle his stomach. It was like alcohol had a vendetta against Nate. He’d never seen someone so damned accident prone when it came to alcohol. Yeah, alcoholics weren’t the most graceful, but this was fucking ridiculous. And terrifying. He didn’t know if he’d ever get that picture out of his head.
He heard steps outside the door and turned the TV off, jumping off the couch. He was in the kitchen by the time Nate let himself into the apartment. What he wanted to do was rush over to Nathan and take him up in his arms, reassure himself that Nathan was really okay. What he did was remain calm and collected.
Eliot turned around and looked surprised. “Hey! You’re back early. How did the job meeting go?”
Nathan shrugged and stopped at the island in the kitchen, watching as Eliot pulled out some chicken and onions. “Yeah, well, I, uh, decided to go in a different direction.”
Eliot looked up from where he was peeling the onions, doing his damndest to look surprised. “Yeah? Wow, that’s a shock.”
Nathan narrowed his eyes at him before picking up an apple out of the bowl on the counter. “Yeah, you can say whatever you like. The company just wasn’t right for me.”
Eliot nodded, eyebrow arched. “Okay. So what are you going to do now?”
Nathan bit into the apple and shrugged. “I’ll figure it out. It’s not like we’re hurting for money. I’ve got to time to decide.”
Eliot pursed his lips, but didn’t say anything. Yeah, he had time. Too much of it. He was about to open his mouth to say something when his phone beeped. He scowled and wiped his hands before digging it out of his pocket. He felt his eyebrows rise as he saw the email. “Hey, did you know that Sophie is in town?”
Nathan sat down at the table and picked up the paper. “No. What’s she doing in Boston?”
Eliot came around the counter and sat down across from Nathan. “She’s doing the Sound of Music.” He grimaced. The last thing he wanted to do was go see Sophie act. But then again, it was a musical. Maybe she could sing better than she could act. “She’s invited me. I bet you got an email too.”
Nathan shrugged and didn’t look up from his paper. “I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”
Eliot was silent for a moment. Maybe this was the perfect idea. Maybe this is what Nathan needed. If the team got back together then he would have something to concentrate on, a direction. It would be good for him. Otherwise he was going to lose his grip on sobriety. He could just see it. “I think we should go.”
Nate looked at Eliot over the top of his paper, eyebrows raised. “Seriously? You hate Sophie’s acting. Besides, I don’t really want her to know we’re living here. That means we’d have to go back to hiding our relationship and I don’t want to do that.”
Eliot sat back and shrugged. “It’s just for one night.” He smirked. “This would be a good time to tell her anyway. You guys have been apart and she can’t be expecting anything from you at this point.”
Nathan tapped his fingers on the table before he stood up and started rooting around in the cabinets to make some coffee. He really didn’t want to tell her. Not because he was ashamed or because he hoped they could get something going. But because she was nosy, and bossy, and somehow he just knew she’d disapprove. “You know she’d probably expect to come back to my place for a cup of coffee or something.” He looked around the apartment. “We’d have to hide all evidence that you live here. Where would you go? What would you do?”
Eliot snorted and took over making the coffee for Nate. “It’s not like I’ve really settled in yet. Aside from a bag and some clothes upstairs I don’t really have anything here. I can just tell her I’m staying on your couch for a couple nights.”
Nathan stepped back and rubbed at his chin. “Why is this so important to you? Don’t tell me you’ve gotten attached to the team?”
Eliot growled and started the coffee maker. “I just thought it’d be nice to get out and do something different. See an old friend. If you don’t want to go fine. I’ll go by myself.” Eliot started out of the kitchen, but Nate stepped into his path.
“Hey, Eliot. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize this was so important to you. We’ll go. We’ll see the play and say hello. But we’ll have to arrive separately.”
Eliot nodded his head. “Fine.” He pushed his hair out of his face before retrieving a hair band from his pocket and tying his hair back. “Look, I’ve found a gym a couple blocks over. I’m going to go get in a workout. I’ll be back later.” He reached up and laid a kiss on Nathan’s lips. “Thank you, Nate.”
Nathan kissed him back, smiling slightly. “You’re welcome. Don’t be too late, Eliot. I’d like a little time with you to myself before we see Sophie.”
Eliot nodded and grabbed his gym bag. “I’ll be back in about an hour and a half.” He closed the door behind him and made his way toward the gym. Nathan was going to resist this like hell. But if he knew Sophie, and he did, she would invite the rest of the team as well. All he had to do was put the bug in their ear about a job here and let momentum take care of the rest.
*The End*
AUTHOR’S NOTE: Wow, what a ride! Season 1 is complete. Next up, a small break and then on to season 2! Thanks to all who have read this series and commented so nicely. There will be more!