Destiny and the Wombo Combo
Destiny and the Wombo Combo
Written for: ag_fics Fic Battle 2.0
Prompt: a_g_doren- This pizza tastes better the next day.
Characters: A/G, Merlin
Rating: G
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Oh no!
He was doing it again!
He was going to drive him insane!
Merlin Emrys, in horror, sprinted out of the kitchen, down the steps of the house and yelled, “PUT IT DOWN!”
What was he yelling about?
This.
Arthur Pendragon, reincarnated, was on the grass holding a cat up by its feet while saying in that medieval ‘Arthur Pendragon’ voice,
“I shall slay this awful beast and cook it for dinner since it keeps defecating upon the grass. Plus it looks like it will be quite delicious once stripped and put upon a spit-
“Arthur, put it DOWN!”
Their next door neighbor was screaming that she was going to call Animal Control and then the psychiatric ward so they could rid the neighborhood of this looney bin as Arthur turned around to Merlin with a grimace. “Merlin, you do not tell me what to do.”
Merlin’s eyes glowed, and the cat fell out off Arthur’s hands. It scratched Arthur and then scurried away.
As their neighbor yelled out her last bits of anger, Merlin tried to appease by saying, “Yeah, yeah, I will. I’ll keep him away from your cat…and your little dog…and your goat…and your chinchilla…and your horse.”
When you had a crazy medieval king living with you, you made sure that you lived far away from most people. Hence, your neighbor had a zoo.
Merlin looked up, clouds, heavy ones, might as well order in, especially with all the work he had to do for the lab.
***
“What is this?”
Arthur asked with disdain, still smarting over not getting to slay that foul beast with his sword, as he nursed the scratch on his leg.
“It’s my I-phone, remember.”
“Oh yes. What shall I do with it Merlin, idiot?”
If it wasn’t Arthur who went to the looney bin, it would probably be him. Merlin needed to find the others before Arthur drove him crazy. That sly Morgana had put a spell upon him before entering the world again that made Arthur more medieval than he already was. In the year 2013 that didn’t click very well. “I want you to find a place for us to eat. Actually, I have a lot of work to do, so get delivery, wherever it’s from.”
Arthur shrugged and, used to this odd I-phone contraption, stated, “Dragon…”
“Arthur, I told you it does not answer to Dragon.”
To that Arthur raised his eyebrows and stated it with a smirk again. “Dragon…find delivery food.”
“Delivery food…looking it up now.”
Merlin’s eyes widened. Arthur smiled with satisfaction.
*And then precisely ten minutes later.*
“I have found it Merlin! The Round Table!”
“Huh…Arthur I told you to find FOOD…not a table!”
“Really Merlin, sometimes I wonder where your brain rests.” Arthur stated with disdain, giving Merlin the phone. “See…The Round Table.”
Merlin frowned, taking a look at the phone, and shook his head. Would Arthur even like it? “Oh Arthur, this is pizza. Round Table Pizza.”
“Yes Merlin, and look, the Wom--bo Com--bo. It looks quite meaty and robust for a fighting man like me. I think we shall get one of those. Plus…oh…indeed. They know how famed I am. How important I am. How-
“OH…what is it called? Just say it already!”
“Ah, I told you Merlin, you do not give me orders. The KING Arthur supreme…or the King Arthur’s Supreme with seafood. Yes. We shall get one of those too. Ahhhh, and let my heart be full. It is my darling.”
Okay maybe Arthur really was off his rockers now. Morgana!!!!! When he found her----oh…he’d turn her into a…hmmmm….weasel!
“Merlin, you’re doing it again, daydreaming. Now wake up and listen to me.”
“Yeah?”
“Do you see here? It is her.”
“Who?”
“It is a sign.”
“WHO?”
“My love. We shall also get, along with the Parmesan Twists…the Guinevere Garden Delight.”
Now he heard everything. Three pizzas for two men. AND Parmesan Twists. Oh well. They always said the pizza was better the next day, and at least it would keep Arthur from running off with the neighbor’s horse declaring it was his worthy steed and that he must go out upon the hunt.
**
Chivalry really was dead.
No really.
The nerve of those guys!
Gwen grumbled, as the rain had turned from a little shower to a great downpour. Since she was the new person, all those gallant boys she worked with…right…made her do the deliveries.
Getting out of the car, she zipped up her black hoodie and framed it fully around her curls and face to keep from getting horribly wet.
Then she ran up the steps, ringing the doorbell.
Arthur, money in hand, answered it, seeing just the back of someone in black. He protested loudly. “I shall say, it’s been over an hour.”
“Understood, but it’s pouring like cats and dogs-
“I don’t see any cats and dogs falling from the sky.” Arthur observed, eyes turning upward.
“Hah…so funny.” Gwen continued. “Anyway, if you’re thinking of getting it for free, fat chance. The free offer ended last year.” She finally got everything out of the warm wrap. “Okay three pizzas…must be having a feast for a king here-
“YES…yes we are!”
Gwen rolled her eyes. “Right. Three pizzas, and the Twists. $68.50.”
“Over 68 gold coins. I would say that’s pretty steep.”
“Gold coins.” Gwen laughed. “Oh you’re a hoot.” Then finally she turned.
Arthur gaped. “Guinevere…my Guinevere!”
“Right, and you’re my Arthur.” Gwen deadpanned. “Um…these are heavy.”
“Who made you come out here like this? Look, you are soaking wet!” He grabbed the pizzas from her and set them down.
Gwen watched with bewilderment and a bit of annoyance. She had three more deliveries to make. “Um…in a hurry.” As Arthur rushed around the room and found it.
He proceeded then to wrap it around her shoulders. “There. Keep this blanket around your shoulders. You will not catch your death then.”
His eyes gazed at her tenderly as he also gently pulled down her wet hood, smiling as he then tucked them protectively underneath the dry blanket. “That’s better. You always had the most beautiful curls.”
Okay. So he was a nut. A certifiable nut. A certifiable really fine looking nut. Who also didn’t kill chivalry. After all, he just wrapped a blanket around her. His hands were really soft. And his blue eyes-
“Arthur! Let the delivery person go. Here…”
Merlin started to give her the money and then also gaped. “Gwen?”
She didn’t look at him though. She was still gazing at Arthur with wonder. “Do I know you?”
Arthur smiled at that warmly. “Well of course you know me-we are-
Okay.
Merlin put his hand upon Arthur’s mouth. “Yeah. Well thank you..um…Gwen?”
She nodded slowly, finally directing her attention to Merlin. “Yeah, it’s Gwen. Um…” She shook her head, lifting her hood over her hair again. “I have to go. But um…” She looked back at Arthur, giving a gracious smile, and handed him the blanket. “Thank you.”
“Anything for my Guinevere.”
And with that Merlin was telling her goodbye and shutting the door. Arthur ranted at him, until Merlin stated that they couldn’t do everything at once. It would have to be slow, careful, his reintroduction of Guinevere into his world. But Merlin was thrilled. Finally they found her.
Finally, hopefully he would get some peace.
***
*Onto the next day.*
Arthur wandered out of the kitchen into the living room, wearing his royal red robe and matching slippers that Merlin got him at Macy’s when he wouldn’t shut up about needing sleepwear and was thrilled to find a red set. Arthur muttered as he turned on the television to Knight’s Tale for the tenth time, “You’re right Merlin…pizza is better the next day. And now…we shall plan how to return Guinevere to my world.
You shall help me WOO her.” He smiled with satisfaction after a hearty bite. “Ah…it’s destiny…destiny and the Wombo Combo.”
Merlin rolled his eyes. It was going to be a long 2013. “Uh, Arthur in 2013, wooing is pretty much dead.”
“Well I shall woo her nonetheless. And we shall dine together at that fine palace that has my table…
THE ROUND Table. And after we assemble the knights…”
A long year indeed.
*
Great prompt. Round Table Pizza for those not in the states is a real pizza place with those names for pizza and it’s kind of King Arthur themed. No cats were hurt in the making of this fic. Might extend this one later.
Thanks for reading! That's the last of these challenge fics, but I should have a new story up soon and continue 'Territories. :) Anyway, all of these were fun/challenging to write. <3