Dragons & Daggers & Jewels-OH MY!
*Made by misscam*
Title: Dragons & Daggers & Jewels-OH MY!
Prompt(s) (if used): marble, dragonborn, graceful, embers
Rating: Teen or PG13
Characters/Pairings: Arthur/Gwen and more characters to come
Spoilers/Warnings: some naughty talk
Disclaimer: BBC/Shine own Merlin. I just write for fun.
Summary: He needs dragon jewels, the hoarding kind. She needs to get away from all those pesky prospective suitors. So together they go searching, and end up on a wild dangerous adventure filled with dragon flaming embers, feminine daggers, sparkly jewels and unexpected inconvenient desires.
Author's Note: This is a very AU middle ages (has a touch of modernism) humorous flirtatious adventure. This is Volume One, ending with a {warning} C.H.// WIP of sorts, almost completely done. I'm just finishing up Volume three. This tied with two other wonderful fics at ag_fics SC-5. So yay! Wonderful banner made by the talented misscam. Click on it to see full size. :)
_+_
Dragons & Daggers & Jewels-OH MY!
Volume 1: Getting it
He was in the slums of Albion, past the Vale of Denaria, within a crudely built fortress, smelt of fornication and hallucinogenic substance to find a Dragonborn, a human with the rare ability to tune into a dragon’s mind and body.
Years past, Dragonborn and dragons were allied, but after a few greedy kings coaxed some Dragonborn with hefty prizes to steal away the dragons’ horde of treasure, that ended. The dragons nearly decimated the kingdoms of Albion before going into hiding. Now they were said to reside within the hundreds of twisting caves of the Andor Mountains where they guarded their remaining horde with fiery breaths meant to turn an enemy into embers.
The Dragonborn, meanwhile, either, lived with regular humans hiding their abilities, were rumored to be living within the caves in a quest to make peace with their former allies, or were here, in Cenred’s despicable lair. This motley crew only included men because no woman with a sense of mind would risk entering Cenred’s palace of debauchery to end up being chained to his throne with her legs stretched out invitingly.
It was a place so disgraceful that his fellow knights would be shocked to find him here. His squire/friend/personal minion said he was out of his mind to be doing this just for some woman.
Arthur Pendragon, distinguished Knight of Gregor, had to think that maybe his sometimes idiot friend Merlin was actually right, because the Dragonborn in front of him was not what he had expected.
_+_
She had to keep from gagging as the disgusting greasy haired Cenred tongued one of his slave’s partially revealed breast before dealing with the business at hand.
It was her cousin Morgana’s idea actually that she come here as a joke, Morgana not ever thinking she would take it seriously. After all, she was a distinguished lady of the Isle of Mora with a slew of potential suitors who wanted her hand in marriage. Problem was the more that pursued, the more boring and insulting they got. It came to the point that Gwen couldn’t take it anymore, so against Morgana’s second bit of advice, that before the third which still hadn’t been utilized, she stole away on her horse in the middle of the night and came here, to Cenred’s filthy lair to answer a childhood memory and find some excitement in the meanwhile.
Oh not Cenred! Ew.
No. Lady Guinevere wanted to find a dragon and prove it, had something in her pocket even. She was ready to have her services sold, after getting into the lair last night and actually being brave enough to knock out one of the Dragonborn, and then steal his clothes. Wearing so many layers of men’s clothing now, she felt like a swaddled mummy of Egypt.
She focused on the man she’d be servicing. Shabbily dressed in leather accent, he had dirt streaks through what looked like almost golden blonde hair, falling over magnificently blue eyes.
_+_
Okay, Arthur thought, the man was extremely short, wearing swaddles of clothing in the dry summer heat with a tightly wrapped turban around his head and a weird hat atop that. Plus, as he walked forward, he even nearly tripped!
_+_
Oh, she was notorious for being the opposite of graceful when nervous; wearing some strange man’s boots didn’t help.
_+_
Arthur was livid, starting to comprehend Cenred’s angle with disgust. Basically the unsavory man, who currently had a scantily clad woman on either side pawing at his thigh and chest as he smoked some hallucinogen, cared about one thing, gold. So he sent these, worst of the Dragonborn, out on missions that people requested, robbing them of their money. It was horrid, but then so was coming to a place like this and having his true identity found out. Thus Arthur threw Cenred his gold and asked the short man for his name.
“Gunther.” Gwen replied in a rush, squinting afterward. Her nervous voice came out sounding like a flu-ridden Brown Bear.
Rolling his eyes with annoyance, Arthur gestured for the Dragonborn to take the lead.
Gwen nervously did, hoping she remembered the details of the map she’d found in an apothecary shop for a ridiculously steep price. It could be a fraud for all she knew.
_+_
Leaving Cenred’s lair as quickly as possible, they began their journey. First they rode through the thick forests atop their steeds. Then as they came to the dark musty caves they journeyed solely on foot. Conversation was sporadic and kept to the task in general. After hours of travel, Arthur thought Gunther’s Dragonborn experience sounded minimal, and Gwen was suspiciously wondering why Merlin wanted to find a dragon.
It was her uncooperative borrowed boots that struck through the dull conversation like a lightning bolt. Tripping, because they were two sizes too big, Gwen tumbled, her hat flying off, plus turban going askew, allowing her long dark curls to tumble out. Meanwhile her torch plopped into the pond aside them, its embers fading away like day changed to night.
“YOU’RE A WOMAN!” Arthur balked, grabbing her wrist and dragging her upward.
Gwen, in defense mode, lifted up one of her booted feet and kicked, but it flew off and ended up torpedoing him in the-
“AH-
Arthur’s breath whooshed out from his mouth and he landed on his knees, trying not to cry from the sudden pain in his lower extremities. “Ooohh…what am I going to tell Eolande?” He groaned, before falling onto his back.
Gwen watched with a wrinkled brow, thinking that he was the biggest dramaknight she ever met. Really, she didn’t kick him that hard, or at least her borrowed flying boot didn’t, which had landed in the pond on the side with a splash.
“Aaaahhh…ooohhh…dying.”
She kicked off the other stupid boot, (at least she had double socks), letting it fall into the pond, and plopped down in front of Arthur, pressing her hands into his shoulders. “Stop. You’re not dying. The pain will go away.”
He gritted his teeth. “Like you should know. You’re a woman. Don’t have what men have that burns when hit the wrong way.”
“Well you chivalrous men don’t complain about it burning when you’re in flirt mode directing it right at us women, do you?”
The flaring response stunned him. He took a closer look. Dark curls falling wildly around her face. Something very familiar, something-
Oh Gregor.
“Lady Guinevere of the Isle of Mora. You’ve had seventeen suitors.”
“Nineteen now.”
He got up to his knees in astonishment, even more stunned when she lifted them into her hands, ripping away her jacket to make the effect stronger.
It was Morgana’s third wild suggestion for a desperate time like this. Gwen held up her two womanly assets just like instructed to.
“What are you doing?” Arthur asked with bewilderment, trying to avoid the pair of breasts that seemed to be aiming at his face.
“Daggers. Staring. You. Down.” She jiggled them for emphasis. “DAGGERS. Got your attention?”
“Huh?”
Dumb Morgana! So what she had perky breasts, that didn’t make them weapons! Maybe it worked better if she was naked? Oh! DramaKnight wasn’t going to see her in the buff!
Gwen let them sag back down, but actually they just bounced plumpity plumpity as she dropped them, her young figure a curvaceous one. “My cousin told me to do it. Blame her. Okay, yes, I’m Lady Guinevere of the Isle of Mora.”
“You’re no Dragonborn! Just a jilted noble who can’t find a guy who suits you!”
“Wait a second!” Gwen peeled away another shirt. She had been wearing four of them, along with the heavy jacket, and she was practically dripping from all the hot attire. Now down to her own pale rose tunic top and worn trousers she made her case defensively. “I’m the one who turned them down. You would too if you saw the slew of slimes that have been trying to get me to lift my skirts so they can have my parents’ fortune.”
He really didn’t care. “You must be a lunatic, entering Cenred’s palace. The man’s a master of whores and narcotics!”
He stood so now she did too, noticing he was no longer in pain as she stretched up to her tippytoes to almost meet his superior height.
“And you? Requesting a Dragonborn, saying your name is Merlin, but I know that’s a fib.” She had figured it out just a few minutes ago when he was wrenching in pain, something about the purse of his lips. “You’re Arthur Pendragon, Knight of Gregor. Notorious for all your pursuits of beasts and foes. Why can’t you just get a dragon yourself then? What do you want with one anyway?”
Arthur wrenched his hands through his already messy hair, mumbling to himself of his upset. “Now I’ll never get it! What am I going to tell Eolande?”
Gwen pulled at his shoulder, having to tug on his sleeve to get him turned around. “Her name again. Who is Eolande?”
“My fiancee. I’m on this trek for her.”
“She wants a dragon?” Gwen asked dryly.
He gritted his teeth, counting to ten inwardly so he didn’t strangle the woman. But by Gregor, did her dark hair have the tiniest little interesting curls.
Okay, enough of that. He was a taken man.
“Not your concern milady.” He stated dryly, before starting to stalk away.
“Where are you going?”
“Back to Cenred to tell him he screwed up this one!” Arthur barked.
Gwen panicked, making a run for it and landing on-
“AH!” She suddenly was gripping his back with her little arms and little legs and her little hands yanking at his very short and bothered hair.
“You can’t do that!” She insisted. “If you do my parents will find out where I am or the whole situation will put them in disgrace. Either way, I’ll still have to deal with them, my suitors who give me chocolates, market bought flowers, and shawls sprayed with perfume! I have fifteen of them. All hideous and so strong smelling they nearly make me faint! They keep telling me how beautiful I am. Do you know how horrible that is? All I want to do is go on a journey, find a dragon, and prove it!”
All in one breath! Either she was a tourney of breathless-speaking-champion or she was certifiably mad. He was going for the latter even if she did have a cute little curved body.
Now where did that come from?
“You’re daffy.” He gritted back in her ear. “Complaining about what most women would flail over. Prove what?”
“Oh no.” Gwen shook her head, still grasping his back tightly, though with less hold of his hair, her thighs locked around his waist so he couldn’t force her down. “Not telling until you tell me why you want to find a dragon.”
Wow. Now that she was no longer a man she had really warm thighs that were kind of making him…er…
“Do you mind getting down? Your thighs feel like embers of rope pulling on my waist.”
Hmmm…that sounded a little like he was being enticed. “Does that mean I’m seducing you?” She cooed, wondering if maybe Morgana had turned her into a flirting vixen with all her teachings.
Laughter and then a growl. “Not one tiny bit.” Not the whole truth. “Let go of me Lady Guinevere or see that little pond on the side? I’ll drop you in it, backward.”
Not good. Her hair got too frizzy when put in cold water, plus, arguable which was more detrimental, she could get a head concussion. She got down, grimacing. “Don’t tell my parents. Well don’t tell Cenred so my parents don’t find out.”
He groaned, noticing now that the rose tunic after she climbed down from him, was askew, giving a nice little preview of her boo-
Oh Gregor. What was he thinking? “Wow, they are kind of like daggers.”
Did he actually voice that out loud?
“Huh?” Gwen had barely heard him.
Oh-he did.
“Never mind. Look, not that I need to tell you, but I’m scared to death of dragons. Been so since I was five, when one swept down upon Gregor, before they went into hiding. It carried me just a few feet in the air before it lost its hold, but I’ve been terrified ever since.”
“Wow.” Gwen remarked, before blurting the words out in a mad rush. “When I was five, I saw one in a cage, when they first started to capture them. And I swear we communicated. You know? It looked at me, I looked at it. Really, it was like I was Dragonborn-hard dragon human communication!”
She really was a lunatic. “I was telling the truth.”
“So was I!” She barked at his underlying accusation that she was fibbing.
This wasn’t getting him anywhere. He put his head in his hands. “I’m never going to get those dragon jewels for Eolande.”
Gwen’s eyes poked out hard. “Dragon jewels? Er, look Arthur, Sir Knight, I don’t know everything, but I do know that dragons don’t have…you know like the things my borrowed boot hit you with.”
Arthur rolled his eyes. It was the same way Merlin had reacted. “I didn’t mean those jewels. She wants real…mineral…ones.”
“Ooooh…oh, okay. I can get you those.”
“You’re not even Dragonborn!”
“I can still get you those.” Gwen assured even though she had no more firm certainty than he did.
“Why would you even want to try? You’re going to get killed!”
Gwen waved her hand in dismissal. “Oh that’s not going to happen. I’ve survived nineteen suitors that are as dynamic as culinary ironware. I can certainly survive a dragon.”
She was crazy, but there was this weird determination in her eyes. Arthur looked away and then felt it, in twofold.
Using her God given gifts, she moved up against him, breasts hitting his chest and sweet tasting mouth resting upon his lips. Whispering before the softest kiss. “I can do it. Trust me. ”
Gregor, he barely had any idea what she just said. Those daggers were sure potent when they were smashing into him. “Er-um,…
Let’s go then.”
She let out a squeal of delight, happily the seducer. Morgana would be proud!
_+_
The conversation before when she was a guy had been stilted and awkward. Now it actually flowed outward continuously.
She was cute and kind of clumsy.
He was chivalrous and kind of arrogant.
They talked about her suitors.
They talked about his quests.
Her little brother who liked to act as news herald.
Merlin, like a brother who he liked to take the mickey out of.
It was hours like this, going from one cave to another because so many of them connected, and he was sure they were never going to see one when it happened.
Gwen could feel it, just like she had when she was a child. “Shhhh…we’re coming to one.”
Arthur wasn’t sure how she realized, but then when they were still left with enough distance to flee, she gestured forward, and there was a dragon with white gray swirls, blended together as if it was exquisite marble. It would be beautiful really if he wasn’t so terrified of them still. He stared in amazement as Gwen slipped away her borrrowed cumbersome weapon belt and started walking toward it like she was about to pet a cute purring kitten.
“Wait.” He lowered the torchlight and grabbed her thin little waist, pressing into her back and murmuring against her neck. “Aren’t you taking those?”
His breath was warm and nice, and his hands wandered a bit, but weren’t unseemly at all. Best point, Arthur wasn’t as dull as ironware.
She turned backward, feeling his hand unlock from her waist just enough for her to rotate, and found his eyes, mouth and even ears ever so close. In the torchlight he glowed like golden fire. “No. I can’t hurt it. I just brought those when I was trying to fool you that I was a man when really I’m not a man because actually I’m a woman who is a lady who-
She did that, rambled when she was a touch nervous. But Arthur was frantically nervous for her. And turned on by her rambling enough to delight in shutting her up. With his lips.
He pressed them to hers, hoping he didn’t knock over the torchlight and burn them alive. She was standing partly on higher rock and let out a whoosh as her foot slid from it. But he caught her, locking into her waist, and deepening the kiss even more, which she responded to with rapid, but amazingly soft eagerness. She tasted like berries, milk and a touch of honey. His favorite things to dine upon. Actually dining upon her was even better.
And actually he was engaged to be married.
With a whoosh of air, Arthur drew away, lips pouting as much as hers as they broke apart. “For luck, that was.” He whispered huskily, because his mouth felt kind of tangled with his tongue after being really tangled with her berry striped tongue.
“Hmmm.” She hummed softly, fingers toying into the roughness of his leather vest. “Yeah. Best kiss for luck I’ve ever gotten. The only one actually.”
This was crazy. He was a Knight of Gregor. Men like him didn’t allow a woman to risk her life, especially not for some dragon jewels. “Don’t do it.” He pulled her waist to him, so that her daggers were shooting right at him, making him groan before he went on.
She just smiled at that, slyly, feeling his dragon jewels sharp part poking her thigh before she was pushing him down to the ground. Then she advanced forward, alone, excited.
Arthur tumbled, before getting his balance back, gritting out of his teeth, “Guinevere!”
But she had already made it to the magical creature.
That memory of being carried still too fresh, he crept down behind some of the taller rock, sword in hand, just in case he stopped being a coward or she ended up in real danger.
It was gorgeous, just like the one she had made contact with years ago. In fact it almost looked just like it. At first sleeping, its eyes suddenly opened. Gwen held her ground, so excited, so scared, and having a feeling like nothing, but maybe Arthur’s kiss, ever gave her. Their eyes locked, and she could feel it, waves of connection. It didn’t matter she wasn’t a Dragonborn. She could just feel she had inherited some bit of such ability.
“Now…” She whispered, taking it out of her trouser pocket, a beautiful crystal blue jewel. “See. It’s from our beaches of Mora. I dove into the water one day, very deep, and found it. Now, I know that your horde means much to you, but an exchange…deal?”
The dragon eyed her warily as Gwen placed the jewel down. Then lifting its clawed foot, it swept up the crystal. Gwen held her breath, feeling a whoosh of air as it used its foot again to shuffle one of its horde of jewels toward her, a beautiful marble colored one, but before she could gain it, a loud roar was rising behind them.
Arthur had enough. Fear be damned! That dragon’s foot came out toward her and he couldn’t take it anymore. It was going to kill her! He rose up with his sword.
“Arthur, no!” Gwen screamed, the marble jewel falling from its base, and the dragon now losing its calm as Arthur advanced to protect Gwen. The prodigious creature opened its mouth and Gwen ran, knowing it would turn him to ash. She pushed Arthur down to the ground, watching the blade fall out of his hand as she covered his body to not let him get burned, sacrificing her own life for his with little thought.
And it was the oddest thing, like it was tied into the Dragonborn heritage she might have, or maybe it was the marble jewel that had within the fray of activity tumbled from its perch and landed in her pocket. Holding it up, she felt the spray of fire meant to torch them, suddenly turn to water, drenching them both. Arthur gazed at her in wonder. She stared too, before smiling. “See. Easy. Got it.”
He wasn’t smiling though. Pointing instead. “Uh, Guinevere, we have company.”
A lot of company. Five dragons kind of company. He held tight to her, scrambling to get his sword back into his hand a she held tightly to him in kind, murmuring, “Oh dear. You saved me. I saved you.”
He chuckled morosely as the five dragons menacingly surrounded them. “Yeah. And it was for naught. Because I think we’re about to be dinner.”
“No, they’re vegetarians.”
“We’re still going to die.”
Oh daggers and dragon jewels!
END OF VOLUME ONE
_+_
Volume Two: Getting Out Alive with It