Peeping Pervert
Title: Peeping Pervert
Rating: PG currently
Warning: peeping tom, possibly more alerts to come, mild slash
Pairing: Merlin/Lancelot, Pre Arthur/Gwen, possibly more
Characters: Those above, Vivian, and possibly more, some may just be mentioned or minor characters
Mood: humor, sophisticated modern relationships
Wordcount: 782+
Summary: When Arthur peeps upon a woman's apartment, his flatmate Merlin resolves to teach him a lesson. Hilarity and banter ensue amid romantic entanglements.
Author's Notes: modern au story from rainbowgraffiti's Summer Kinkfest 2011//Anonymous prompt: 'Arthur swears he's no pervert, but he has a perfect view inside his curly-haired neighbor's flat who sometimes walk around her place not wearing very much.'
Peeping Pervert
He’s not one. Reallly. He’s not. Arthur moves near the window when suddenly----oh. He stops with a growing grin. Time for changing again. He watches like a little boy gleeful to get his first video game. She definitely is quite well endow-
“What are you doing?”
Arthur pushes back the blind, getting it tangled into the string, and slaps on an innocent expression. “Nothing, nothing at all.”
“Uh-huh.” A man with dark short hair crosses his arms over his chest. “Nothing? Really? Well it looked to me Arthur like you were just spying on whoever lives in that apartment across from us.”
Arthur does something between a laugh and an audible smirk, shaking his head profusely while maintaining his cool. It’s an art, but he has it down. “Spying? Me? Yeah, right Merlin, like I would have to spy on a woman. I can get any which is more than you can say.”
“Well considering I fancy the type that doesn’t wear a brassiere that’s not saying much is it Arthur? And did I say anything about a woman in the first place, no. So you’re a peeping Tom.”
Arthur grimaces strongly. “Shut up Merlin. You sound so gay.”
“I am gay Arthur. You’re full of yourself and now it seems also a perverted voyeur who needs counseling.”
“You’re the one who needs a psychiatrist. The other day you went out in a dress.”
“It was for a gay pride parade. What’s your excuse Arthur for spying on a woman who you don’t know? Haven’t bothered to try to get to know? And-
“You are so holier than thou, it’s sickening. I just watched her this one time.”
“What was she wearing last time?”
Arthur answers automatically. “Oh just this pink fluffy towel that barely covered her thighs and ass.”
Merlin thinks with satisfaction, got him. “One time? Uh-huh.”
“MERLIN! Ah! I’m leaving. I have a date because you know I have no trouble getting them. With my athletic ability, unlike your scrawny little flat chest, I have women fawning over me, FAWNING, and so I’m going to have a great time on my date. Because-
“Not only do you have an ego the size of a watermelon, you also can’t come to the point without grammatically challenged boasting.”
“That’s it. I’m leaving! Guess you have no one to see.”
“Actually Lance and I have plans to see an orchestral concert on the wharf.”
“You’re still seeing him?”
“Yes Arthur, I prefer to date someone for more than two weeks.”
“Is that an implied crack at me?” Arthur asks with irritation as he puts a jacket on over his black shirt.
“Implied, no. Fully justified crack? Yes.” Merlin has always considered himself the committed sort, while Arthur has a tendency to go from one woman to another quite quickly, a bit impatient with long term anything. “So what’s her name?” This is always fun.
“Ah, er, Viv-something like that.”
“Vivian?”
“Yeah, I think that’s it. I only met her once.”
“And obviously you were so besotted by that meeting.”
“Merlin shut up. Not everyone analyzes everything as deeply as you do and has such an irritating sense of humor.”
“No, they just become perverted voyeurs.”
“That’s it. Bye Merlin. Say hi to Lance.”
“Oh and you say hi to Viv---uh, whatever her name is.”
“Crap. So long Merlin.”
Merlin watches with a victorious smile, hearing the door slam closed. Making his way to the window, he starts to fix the disjointed blinds.
Arthur’s been Merlin’s apartment-mate now for about two years. As different as they are they have shared distinct camaraderie during this time that includes regularly insulting each other for good measure. Merlin is an artistic and intellectual homosexual who directs some of San Francisco’s top off-broadway shows. Meanwhile Arthur is a Golds Gym instructor who also sides as an extreme athlete, participating in all kinds of interesting sports.
Finally getting the blinds sorted out, Merlin notices something that makes him give a queer look. No gay pun intended. “Well, what do you know? Arthur my friend, you’re peeping on the wrong woman. And she and I are going to show you just how wrong.”
An idea forms in his artistic mind, one that is both deliciously smart and evilly good. Oh how it will give Boastful Boy a taste of his own medicine.
He has an hour before he needs to be made presentable for Lance. It’s just enough time to cross the street and go to the apartments across the way, one specific apartment that he never realized before was where an independent, lovely, smart, and strong woman that just happens to be his sometimes coworker
Lives.
***
Story in progress for now...