Cycles of Love (First Cycle: Innocence) End of 1st Cycle
~*~
Gwen returned to the rear palace gardens from another trip to the kitchen, wiping at her sweating brow. With the Lady Ysmay and her father Lord Wykeham visiting for the past days, Gwen’s service continued to be more busied than usual. Unfortunately Lady Morgana was not a part of her service in the gardens this afternoon. That might have made it better. Her lady had actually apologized to her profusely for having a previously planned meeting with her old nurse, whose sister was starting a slow recovery. Gwen hadn’t understood why her dear mistress felt the need to give regrets, until now.
Morgana had been the one tending to Ysmay mostly during her stay. Now that she was busy, the king had made other arrangements, ordering Gwen responsible for their success. A whole group of children was with Lady Ysmay, including the Duke’s son and Lord Brom’s Children. And then there was of course Prince Arthur, taking over Morgana’s usual place.
As Gwen walked rapidly down the path through the gardens to the tables, she could see how Prince Arthur was running back and forth with the rest of them. They seemed busied in a slightly differed version of hide and seek, going behind tall bushes to not be found. Much laughter rang out that made her smile for a second with melancholy emotion. It made her miss her time in Shonore when she had been so young that she didn’t have so much to worry about. They were not much older than her and yet they still were allowed to play that way because they were royalty. Letting go of her sadness, she straightened her nose, lifted her face, and made her way to the tables.
It was an unfortunate accident that at that moment, Benedict, one of Lord Brom’s large brood, ran to get away from the seeker. He raced right into Gwen, causing the tray she was carrying to fly upward in the air, and the drinks to fall to the ground. All of this happened after the dark red juice stained her dress, and the force of his round body made her tumble back into the grasses.
Arthur heard it as one of the girls laughed. Looking up, he saw that Benedict Rolly Polly, the way he liked to privately refer to him, was down on the ground, and so it seemed was Gwen. He started to race forward from his bush.
This had not been his idea. It was of course his father’s, and with the man being the king, Arthur had no choice but to heed his royal order. He’d actually rather be across the way with the knights like he had planned for this afternoon, getting to watch some of their practice and participate a bit as he trained with his puny sword, but at least it would have been with men of honor in shining chainmail.
Because of Morgana’s other obligation though, he was here with the group of kids who he’d known long enough and yet sometimes they bored him terribly. Plus Lady Ysmay kept chasing him around. Sure she was pretty with all her golden waves, but nothing for him had solidly changed even after spending this time with the other boys and girls. Maybe he wanted to grow up too fast. Who knew? Perhaps he was too restless, but as fun as their somewhat changed version of hide and seek could be, and yes he was laughing along with the rest of them as someone was captured and put into the ‘dungeon’ to face the ‘dragon’ before they tried to make a hiding run for it, he still was missing out on all the grown up fun with the knights.
A distraction was welcome then, except for this one didn’t make him smile. Benedict was a big boy, a wide boy, who was a lot taller than Gwen, and a lot thicker than her. Sure she was just a servant and it would have been dismissed, Arthur could guess, by his father, but it wasn’t being dismissed by the prince as he rushed.
Some of the others got there first, the girls giggling and the boys snickering, as much ribbing Benedict as they made fun of Gwen’s predicament, not helping either at all.
“Fie Benedict…” Leofrick, the Duke’s son, thin, tall, and the oldest at twelve, mocked. “You’re like a barrel, rolling right over her.”
Lady Emeline, the youngest at barely ten, and yet months older than Gwen, tittered with girlish fun. “She’s a mess!”
Benedict, definitely pudgy, moved away now from the servant girl, actually looking apologetic. Gwen pushed away from his arm that had landed across her lower leg. Pushing down on her skirts to smooth them out at least a little, she could feel the wetness soaking through her dress from the spilled juice.
Arthur got to the crowd of kids now, having been smart enough to hide the furthest away from the capturing ‘dragon’ who had been Henry, eleven years old, and the one Arthur got on with the best.
As he approached, Lady Ysmay turned to him. “She’s not a very pretty servant girl, is she?”
The others were laughing at the comment. Leofrick actually started to help Benedict now, but no one assisted Gwen. Arthur took a step toward her, and then heard it. He grimaced. She still wasn’t getting up, but at least she had her eyes open under the half cloudy skies.
“You’re going to have to get us new drinks, servant girl.” Lady Thea, the middle of Lord Brom’s brood, ordered, as Arthur placed another foot over the ground.
She still hadn’t gotten up on her own.
“And next time watch out for Rollaround Benedict.” Leofrick added with teasing. “You’re a servant. You’re going to have to learn how to dodge any…wild dragons.”
“Hah…” They were all laughing.
“Yeah, she will, won’t she Arthur?” Henry asked with a smirk.
Having had enough, Gwen ignored the wet state of her dress now and pushed off the ground.
Arthur lowered his head, wishing he had just made the move. Sir Hadrian would have. It wasn’t all his fault though. He had wanted to be training with the knights today.
“Isn’t her name Gwen?” Emeline asked with a high voice. “What an awfully horrible name.”
“Actually it’s Guinevere.”
Gwen turned around now to face him. The prince’s eyes were a hard blue under the fading threat of clouds that the sun played its own game of hide and seek with.
“And no, I don’t think it’s awfully horrible.”
She stared, stunned that he would remember and say it in front of his…friends.
Ysmay, a tiny tinge of jealousy running through her, sneered at the girl. “Well don’t just stand there looking like a wet chicken. Get us our new drinks.”
Henry, Arthur’s closest friend, put his arm around the boy and actually came back at Ysmay. “Ah, stop being Lady Pain In the You Know What.”
Shaking her head, Gwen bent down to scoop up the tray and all its mess. She had work to do so let them tease each other back and forth. She would just quietly ignore it, and anything they called her. Rude boys and girls. Except maybe…
Gritting his teeth, Arthur watched, before feeling his friend poking at him, calling him by his teasing nickname. “Come on Arthy…you’re next to be dragon. Can’t let Benedict do it, even though it’s supposed to be his turn. He’ll flatten one of the girls for real this time.”
Arthur couldn’t help but laugh at that. It was usually Henry who could get him to smile, and it was good how he let Ysmay have it because at the moment she deserved it.
Henry slapped the prince on the back. Arthur let out a dragon’s howl. All the kids scattered around and the chasing hide and seek game started again. Forgetting the knights for now, and her, Arthur turned around to see who was the closest. Ah…perfect.
She squealed as he started running after her.
Ysmay didn’t even have time to hide before Arthur caught at her arm. “Got you!”
“Oh please don’t put me in the dungeon fiery Dragon.” She pretended fear like the game was played, enjoying it because for a long time she had a…crush on Prince Arthur.
He snickered at that. “You get to join all the other wet chickens.”
She frowned, knowing why he was saying it. “I was only teasing!”
“It was kind of mean.” He commented as he led her to the ‘dungeon’, basically an area under a wide branched tree.
“She’s just a servant, Arthur! You’re always mean to yours.”
He frowned.
Ysmay rolled her eyes, but then smiled graciously. “Okay, I’m sorry. But you don’t want me to say that to her, do you? Our fathers always tell us we never have to apologize to a servant. I don’t think the king would want you to.”
He grimaced. It was true. His father always made it clear that servants were below them. Ushering her into his ‘dragon dungeon lair’, he shrugged. “If you try to escape, I’ll chase you.”
Ysmay smiled. “Well the running’s always fun. Go on dragon. Get your next capturee…then I can run away.”
Arthur raised his eyebrow. “You’d dare.”
She smiled. “Sure.”
He rolled his eyes and went to get his next one. Dumb girl.
Yet…
She wasn’t totally cowardly.
Across the field, Gwen was done picking everything up and making her return to the kitchen, her dress wet against her skin. Noticing them now smiling at each other, looking like they were teasing, she turned away. It didn’t matter.
They were noble.
She was peasant.
And that was always how it would be.
~*~
The next day Gwen got there first, not even sure if she should be waiting. Once again she had neglected to eat lunch because of having so much to do for Lady Ysmay. One weird thing though, the girl had actually quietly apologized for all their wildness from the day before, and made sure that she was okay, not hurt from Benedict’s run-into. Gwen gratefully thanked the girl, even as she wondered.
Did it maybe have to do with Prince Arthur?
Well no matter. The prince was certainly not her friend, and of course the girl only bothered to give her regrets when no other kids were around. It was like the prince too. He was only nice to her when they were here at this spot, except for the one thing he had said about her name. It was shocking he had done that with the whole group there.
As the sun gained more exposure this day than the two past, she questioned silently again what she was doing in the spot.
“Hi.”
Gwen startled, jumping up to see him standing there. She got it out with unplanned harsh formality. “Good day Prince Arthur.”
He frowned at that, taking it from his bag. She seemed not happy about the day before. “I brought you some more meats and cheeses from Adelaide, just in case you didn’t eat again. Remember, I don’t want any swords dropping on my toes.”
She looked away.
Arthur sighed, his boyish face showing resignation. “Are you okay?”
She turned back around to him, her forehead crinkling beyond her young years.
“Benedict’s pretty big.” He noticed now how she wasn’t wearing that stained yellow dress, but an orange and white one. The other one was probably still being cleaned.
“Lady Ysmay apologized.”
Arthur’s eyebrows came up with surprise. “She did?” They had finished their game of dragon hide and seek right as Gwen came back with their new drinks. He had captured Ysmay twice, Henry once, and Emeline three crazy times because the girl didn’t know how to run. The others actually got away. How Benedict managed it was a wild mystery. Arthur supposed it was because he took pity on him after the fall. The boy kept limping. Since Gwen wasn’t now, seemed she fared better.
“Yes, this morning. Of course when no one else was around.”
Arthur shrugged. “Of course.” Still he was slightly impressed. “Anyway, it was a one day thing. It was all my father’s idea and you can’t argue with the king. I would have rather been doing sword practice with the knights.”
She couldn’t help but tease, feeling a little more regular again now that they were away from all the confines of the castle. “With your puny sword?”
He smirked angrily at that.
She laughed.
Arthur did too and told her to eat her meats and cheeses.
Gwen decided not to reject it as her stomach started its timely rumbling again. Besides, this was the last lesson, and she wanted to make sure she learned well. She and the Lady Morgana would be making the trek tomorrow.
~*~
Standing at the tree’s target branch now, Gwen held up the sword, hearing Arthur’s instruction.
“Okay, now just swing at it, maybe picturing something you don’t like.”
She smiled at that, taking a look back at him sharply. “Or someone?”
That question surprised Arthur as he nodded his head slowly. “Uh…yeah…I guess if you have someone in mind.”
She grinned, a mischievous girl.
He swallowed. A frightened boy?
Gwen was ready. They had practiced this more than a handful of times yesterday and every swing she had missed the branch or cut at the wrong part. This time she knew she was prepared to slice it like he had, with precision. It was funny to see his uncertainty about her smile. He was probably trying to figure out who she was picturing as she got ready her swing.
Well he could keep guessing.
She swung.
The branch cracked, splitting right down the middle.
Gwen jumped up and down with youthful excitement.
Arthur could barely contain his, but one more thing if she was really going to do this. “Okay, you against me. You get the big sword and I get the puny one.” He smirked.
She lifted the sword and tried to balance it like he had taught her. Arthur swung first. Gwen shocked back at it, so he didn’t complete the swing.
He complained strongly. “You have to hit back Gwen if you want to do this.
Unless you’re scared.” He mocked now. “After all you have the big sword and I have the dull junior one.
Come on…hit back at me!
I know you’re still mad about the kids being brats yesterday.”
She frowned hard, raising her sword. “Well you can be one too!”
He smiled at that before objecting. “I’m a prince. You can’t talk to me like that servant girl.”
She hit forcefully. He had to block. Good one. Still he lured with his blade tip. “Come on…that’s barely a hit!”
He swiped down against her sword, spurring her to block. Arthur was being careful though. She had learned this in less than a few days and she was actually doing good at it, but still she was just a girl, a small one at that, and he knew better than her how swords worked.
Gwen intercepted his blade with hers, gritting her teeth with determination.
He watched it with wonder. This was the way to fight. Maybe she was little and just a girl servant, but she showed more courage than most of them, all those yes no servants. “That’s it…come on!”
He backed up with her. Gwen came at him. They volleyed back and forth. Kids with no adults to supervise, they did their treacherous act with fun and hard intent. Once again no division stood between them. Each impressed the other. She could see why he wanted a real one, because he was begrudgingly a solid teacher and even better at the fight. He could tell that she was serious about protecting her Lady and that if she ever had to do it, she’d probably be pretty scary. So they were kids, who shouldn’t be hiding in a forest with a real sword snatched away from one of their parents for these moments, but together they were learning. Together they were experiencing what the other was.
Would this lead to some great friendship or more?
Would it be forgotten?
She hit hard enough to get him off balance. It was enough. It would be what she’d have to do. It was time receding the sun’s full’s power, after this final lesson had started, after all her losses and breaks in between where with a boy’s growing maturity he counseled her to not give up. Sir Hadrian never would have.
It was that final moment that they could stay in this spot of the forest that no one knew they came to, that she had her little, and yet strong enough victory.
He frowned hard, having to get his footing back as she lifted the sword away.
Gwen bit down on her lip, not sure if he was angry.
He still didn’t smile. “You did it.”
She frowned too. “Yeah.”
Steely precision was in both their eyes that went beyond their childhood years, that whispered their purpose in life.
His lips curved to a boy’s full happiness. “You DID it Guinevere!” He yelled out now.
It was a moment of excitement, of total abandon, of knight’s strong reaction.
“Bloody Yes!”
He laughed. She did too and jumped forward, leapt against his shoulders.
Hugged the boy who someday could become king of her, and all the people of Camelot.
He startled at it, before awkwardly bringing his hands around her little shoulders.
She dropped her hands down his, so rapidly embarrassed. “Oh I’m-
He shook his head, thinking for the first time.
Gwen was pretty.
Guinevere was.
For a dumb girl anyway.
He was a bully, but also a good teacher.
Prince Arthur.
Childhood was still so innocent, even for the hard-worked girl and the boy who had ominous duty to come. It was a simple pleasure. In this place, far away from it all…
They became friends.
Too bad in only a few days they’d forget the innocence.
Until…
~*~
“Practicing to protect your Lady again?”
She still smiled at the voice, the new words, lowering the sword to the table. “No, just returning this to Sir John after repairing it.”
She turned around. He marveled for a second at how she had…altered. He supposed. Maybe that was not the right word, but he found himself a little not so sure what to call it, what to say, like the nights before when he told her that she never failed to surprise him. That had felt awkward and, not exactly what he was thinking. It was just something about her growth though, the way things changed between male and female, maybe…or…he wasn’t sure.
Lately she took to wearing her hair down more with those flowers she had sprinkled it with since being a little girl, entering her first days of palace service. They suited her. She was of course now taller, but still what all men called petite. Now she had the curves of…
A woman.
And yet that fighting spirit was still there, returning past both their awkward later days.
And years after maybe falling to some kind of stupid sleep…
He was waking again.
Seeing not just Gwen.
But Guinevere.
She marveled even more. Years past that time he reminded her of now, Arthur was handsomely the man she always knew he would be in looks. All the boyish aura was gone, except for that naïve expression he would get sometimes when his brow relaxed. His dedication to his arsenal since being so young had formed him physically into a man of full brawn who now rightfully was leader of the knights, and Crown Prince of Camelot.
Sir Hadrian would have been proud she imagined.
What interested her so intensely though, was that with each day he was showing more of his true spirit, beyond his father. He displayed his heart sometimes, making her feel a tingling awareness. A yearn that still embarrassed her.
As she saw him beyond prince.
And even future king.
As she saw him as just…
Arthur.
“You remember?” She frowned at the marks on his face, one lining his eye so harshly.
He nodded his head with a slight smile. “Sure. You thought I forgot?”
“I’ve wondered sometimes.”
Of course he was still arrogant many days and disappointed her like that one years back when he had his friends around. There were things she truly believed he had yet to learn. Maybe she did too. No being was perfect. They never spent the time enough anymore though to learn from each other like they had in that forested spot as children. Their lives turned so far from each other’s even though she still served the dwelling he called his home.
He could see that she wondered. They had only gone back to that spot one more time, and it had been for short moments. Months after, he was allowed to start training with the real sword in limited capacity. It was enough though. He kept his old friends and made some new ones. For some years he got a little cocky about it all. He would mock every servant with his friends. That is until this most recent one. Merlin was an idiot. And yet Merlin was the first one, who didn’t just say yes or no all the time. Merlin was crazy…but brave.
Kind of like her.
And kind of definitely not.
Merlin would never look as good in a dress as she did.
He took a few steps forward into the room.
“You wanted to protect your new Lady. So you came to me to learn how to fight.”
She grimaced skeptically. “It wasn’t exactly like that.”
He laughed. He was past twenty one now. She was just twenty. “Well that’s to be debated I suppose.”
She was having a hard time believing all this. Just a few nights ago she saved him from the flying gargoyle-like creature. He teased as she did the second time, when she landed on him. Then he told her that she always surprised him. This, after years of acting like she barely mattered, and her resigning him back to that initial state. A bully. Now that prince of before was coming back with maybe even something more vital. Now that prince was slowly showing the king he was not as far away to become. And it intrigued her. It reassured her.
He continued. “So as I recall, you attended your mistress that day. You both rode out with the guards, like I reminded would accompany you. And you saw something leap out of the tree. It made you get scared for your lady so you…”
She rolled her eyes. He did remember. Too much. “I didn’t see it that clearly.”
His expression was sobered, hard with purpose. “No, not until it was right in front of your blade, you know the sword that you snatched from the guard’s bag on his horse. And you swung so hard Guinevere…you knocked that…
Squirrel right out of that tree.”
He smirked.
She looked down, mortified just like she had that day she had to tell him what happened when he insisted the details, when for a few seconds they were still escaping kids. “At least I didn’t kill it. Oh…but it was awful. I murdered its sitting branch.”
He laughed fully now, smiling down at her for long moments. “You’re a squirrel branch offender Guinevere. Guilty as charged.”
She turned away with that embarrassment still strong again.
He caught at her arm.
She looked up, touched at his hurt eye, feeling him flinch.
“Ow.”
“Sorry.”
He shook his head. “But you did learn how to be a brilliant sword fighter. You proved that in Merlin’s hometown, remember?”
She smiled, lifting a tie from her dress. “Here…Sire…take care of that eye. Like you helped me take care of my knee.”
He gave her a wondering look now, holding at the tie and bringing it to his eye before lowering it again. “You remember that?”
Her eyes sparked. “Of course.”
She turned away. She had duty. She had her lady, her dearest friend in all the world. Her life had changed that day she was picked…
For many reasons.
He called out.
“Guinevere…”
She turned back around, “Yes my Lord?”
He fixed his eyes on hers. “Do you still get lost around the palace?”
She shook her head quickly. “Of course not. Never.”
He nodded his head.
She started to walk away again.
Before he whispered it.
“Too bad.”
~*~
“Milady? Morgana?”
Guinevere entered the room she was so familiar with now that had those double Pine doors at its front. She no longer had to put a tie on its handle or that of any other room. She knew the palace intimately. She frighteningly even knew its dungeon. And with sad regret, she knew its throne room where judgment was placed, once on her, unfairly. Once on her father. Fatefully. She didn’t cry any tears now. She wept them all that day. It was her most solid pain still. It was a bit of why that man in the hallway still could disappoint her. Even if his part in it had been minimal, it was mostly what he…
Hadn’t done.
Then, years ago, she had no mother. Now too she had no father.
Only memories.
Still she smiled, holding flowers in her hand and taking them to the table. She still had her Lady. Oh Morgana was not just even that. She was like the dearest sister. She loved her fully and was so grateful that Morgana saw more in her that day than just the little inexperienced girl she was.
Now, thinking of her dear mistress, where was she? “Morgana?” She called out again.
The door opened. Ah…finally her mistress. “Milady…” She smiled with a small curtsy of respect that was not at all tied into formality.
Morgana walked in with shining happiness. Some nights it could be hard to sleep, like the past when she dreamed about the awful creatures that came to life through sorcery and nearly destroyed all of Camelot, but the girl before here always tempered that horridness. Gwen had been in her employ now for about eleven years and not one day did Morgana regret her girlhood choice. Gwen was not only loyal, but feisty, fun, dear, and had this shining bravery in hurt that would have defeated most others. Gwen was not even royalty, and yet Morgana considered her handmaiden her best friend with no one to come close in equaling. Gwen was so much more than any other lady of nobility. She had such honor and sense of hard work about her.
Before her, Morgana had been a lonely girl, boring of teasing the young Arthur. She had a dear nurse then, but it was never quite enough. Now she had a special comrade to go to tourneys and other events with. She had someone to call out to when the nightmares became terrifying, who would hold her in her sweet embrace and make her feel safe. Gwen was most like her sister than anything. She cherished her.
“Gwen…I have something for you.”
The handmaiden took a surprised step back. “Milady?”
Morgana stepped forward, holding a full bushel of them. “Here…remember your first day with me? When you brought me such a lovely bunch from by the creek? Well that is where I picked these. I thought this particular color could go well with one of your garments.”
Gwen took them from her lovely mistress who was dressed this day in deep blues, with a wondering smile. “They match my lavender dress, and go with the flowers on my apron.”
Morgana nodded her head, thinking the dress Gwen was wearing today was quite lovely. She noticed that lately, how her friend and handmaiden wore her hair in more delicate ways and that she had taken some of the scraps of material she had given her and made out of them beautiful gowns that accented her frame so nicely. “Yes…I think they would look wonderful in your hair, all those curls you have.”
She smiled warmly. Gwen did too, hugging her mistress now. “Thank you Milady.”
Morgana pulled away, holding at the girl’s hands. “No, thank you Gwen. You’ve made living in this palace…so much nicer. You are the best handmaiden I could have…and the best friend.”
Gwen emotionally disengaged their hands, put the flowers down, and pointed to the table. “I picked you some flowers too.”
Morgana’s emerald eyes sparked with deep approval. “They’re lovely as always.”
She added playfully, “Now come on…”
She held at the girl’s hand. Together they sat down on the bed. Gwen still felt awkward about it, but her mistress had practically demanded it from her first days of service. For a few short moments they would sit together and just…
Talk.
Gossip.
Rant.
Rave.
“So Arthur has a nice shiner now.”
Gwen nodded quietly. “Uh…yes.”
Morgana wondered, but didn’t say anything.
Gwen brought in the memory of earlier. Her mistress did not know who had taught her it, but of course what the result of that teaching was, she did know. “I was returning Sir John’s Sword a bit before, and I recalled that day with the squirrel.”
Morgana laughed fully, her head falling back to bring her ebony loveliness all around to frame. “Oh my goodness…yes! You were protecting me. Remember the guard’s faces?”
“Yes!” Gwen laughed now too. “They had their mouths wide open.”
“Oh and one kidded if there was such thing as lady knights…”
“Well barring nobility rules, I could be one!”
“Ha ha…yes!
They continued to enjoy their shared time, the handmaiden and the Lady.
The happy…
Innocent
Time…
When she met her lady.
And the once and future king.
~*~
Love is such friendship…
Dwelling in beautiful innocent pleasure.
Love cannot stop there though.
It has two other dwellings.
Two years into the future not yet seen…
Blood fills.
Pain screams.
Hearts rip.
Truth forsakes.
In the fieriest dwelling.
hell.
~*~
Continued…
In Love’s 2nd Cycle
Bleed
~*~
Thank you for reading. Feedback is adored.