Feb 24, 2005 14:08
Goblin Market was a success.
With some trading and such, we were able to get a lot of information on the Jade Turtle Syndicate, their enemies and a potential gang war looming on the horizon. We also found out a bit more about the Monk-guy in my vision, chatted briefly with the first Nepahndi (read: heart attack), and netted Anarax some new contacts. The Shadow Court is all but gone, thank goodness. Patch was kind enough to tell me that the bastardly Nicodemus got himself dead of spider bites. Funny that. I also unloaded my coat-rack to a Fire Djinn who was supremely amused by it.
No one has heard about Diogenes. Then again, most of the Fae we were talking to don’t have much to do with the courts or the path to Arcadia Gateway. However, I apparently made a friend of the Hsien and he claims to be paying back a debt to me for this. It’s endearing, after a fashion. I cut him off a lock of my hair and then we exchanged cell phone numbers. I also bought Frank the Etherite sculpture-clock he was drooling over.
I’m worried about Emma. She’s lost so much, so quickly, for someone so new. And with the threat of darkness about her, I can’t help but feel worried for her safety. Am I considering all our threats effectively? Am I being too protective? What role should I, and the cabal, take in her life? What should we leave to her? She seems to fall into line fairly quickly. But I worry that she isn’t growing into her own.
I’m glad Daniel is taking her under his wing. They’re both learning this life together and that makes it easier. The fact that Daniel is jumping at every opportunity to be supportive is appreciated, but again, I worry about the ballsy factor. As much as Anarax annoys me, I want my cabal-mates to have their own opinions if not their own agendas. I want them to be able to disagree with me and tell me no when they think something is wrong and help me figure out a better way. I think that’s why I’m beginning to value Anarax, while everyone else thinks he’s a royal pain. He’s a voice of disagreement that keeps me looking at other variables.
Rusty’s widderlsaint is coming to the forefront again, and I’m concerned with the role his destiny is placing him in. Wong is as unreadable as always, though infinitely helpful. I worry that I’ll just start seeing him as muscle and forget he is a human being. Meanwhile Ruth has been busy keeping her own world together, and I can understand that. I don’t mind her being part-time in this cabal while she figures out her priorities. It took us all some time to discover that for ourselves.
I can’t say enough good things about being married. When we’re among the Garou, I let him lead and I tend to defer. It’s polite and befits the kinfolk role I play. Granted, we both know if my being a Mage comes up, that role will change. But the same goes for when I take him for will-worker business. I’m in charge and he jumps in when necessary. Sometimes we disagree on the when’s and how’s, but ultimately it’s a system that works. I love having him around. We make a good team.
But every night I wake up from the nightmare of his death and reach for him, fearing I’ve awoken alone and widowed. He’s gotten used to it, but I never have.
I’m chasing power again. But now it’s my own. I’ve learned at least a cursory understanding in all the spheres of magick, and I want more. How else are we going to save the world from the darkness to come unless I’m really freaking bad-ass?