Dear Insecurities...(the Infomercial)
I love finding more than one email, web-site, or just running into people, whom/that feel as though their feelings are the most important thing in the world. I know, most of us were raised in a time when "Self-esteem" was a hot issue, and I always fell in the end with "low/bad self esteem." Strange, I couldn't be happier. Most things I've wanted out of life are happening, or going to happen within the next 5 years. Huh, I guess those with "high/good self-esteem" must have accomplished even more than I have. Ok, okay... so maybe they are on the same path as I am, but they didn't get the counseling or get the adjustment bullshit I got. Heh, not many people did... but I've come to this one conclusion... "Self-esteem" is the most dangerous thing known to man. Here is my reasoning (and yes you may laugh at this (which is the point of this post)):
First lets break down "Self-esteem"
"Self" : Of oneness, being who you are.
"Esteem" : Being of high merit.
Ok, that sounds like good things. So, if you want to be one of good merit, believe in the lies that they told you during school. Take your "self-esteem" (SE) and take it to the monster of the "real world" (yes I have issues with that one too). Your SE will get a royal butt whooping from the "real world." Why you ask, it doesn't care. Seems simple enough, and yet, I find myself walking on eggshells with certain people and can't seem to gain headway because if I hurt their SE, I must be a big ol' bully. Oh, I can see it.
Me(As a big mean bully): Give me your milk money!
SE: No, you are hurting my feelings
Me: Not really, I just want some milk...
SE: You are making me feel bad
Me: Why?
SE: I'm going to have low esteem now!
Me: Umm... ok...
SE: STOP IT!!! STOP IT!!!
Me: *blinks*
SE: *cries*
Recess Lady: Why is "Self-Esteem" crying?
Me: I just asked if I could borrow his milk money...
SE: *Still crying* HE WAS HURTING MY FEELINGS
Me: I just...
RL: Come with me young man... *drags me by my ear*
See? This is just one event, and many more are happening with our "adult" world. Here is a testimony of a young man who hasn't had good SE, ever. "I never had high self-esteem... I'd always be the one that got picked on, by those with the high esteem, and well, [those with high SE] got me mad. Then I became the richest man in the world and have a house that adjusts to my whims." ~ Bill Gates. See, this low-life had low-SE and where did it get him? Billions of dollars! I think we should encourage low-SE or NO-SE, and ban dangerous strains of High-SE. Another case study...
Person A: I have HIGH-SE! *goes to booze up*
-ten minutes later-
Person A: I goin togo drife, secause I *hick* hafe good-esheem
*crashes*
Sad, that poor person with high-SE must not of known the risks of drinking and driving. If only he could have could have had normal esteem or low-SE would he have known that it's dangerous. *sighs* Lets go to the our local expert on the other dangers of High-SE, Doctor?
Random Dr. : High-SE or High Self-Esteem can cause colon cancer, bleeding from the ears, stubby knees, hair on your knuckles, blindness, baldness, near-sightedness, far sightedness, dry-mouth and vomiting.
Me: *nods*
Random Dr. : It is also the leading cause of Breast cancer, AIDS, and can cause erectile dysfunction in both males and females. It's really devastating, when someone has High-SE. The worst part is, it's really contagious. Once a member of your family has High-SE, shun them like a leper. Send them to a camp where they can learn that their feelings can be misguided like the rest of us, and that it is ok to hate yourself a little.
Me: Wow, I didn't know that it was contagious, Dr. Could you tell me how one gets High -SE?
Random Dr. : Well Greg, it originates from lobbyists who thought that "feeling good about ones self" means a hell of a lot more than the feelings of others. This lead to many debates on selfishness, but since we know congress and they know selfishness, they passed a number of acts, laws and even scriptures that lead to our most beguiling cases of High-SE today.
Me: I know you've mentioned the camps, are there other ways to steer clear of those with High-SE?
Random Dr. : Good question, I'd have to think that our own self-loathing and consensus of depression, makes most anyone susceptible to High-SE, but the best way to avoid High-SE, is to stay away from schools, lawyers, politicians, teachers, social activists, and monkeys.
Me: Monkeys?
Random Dr. : Yes, the lobbyist who brought this "Self-esteem issue" to light was in-fact a monkey.
Me: Well that's all the time we have for today, please join us next time...
Those damn monkeys! I find it hard to believe that all this was started by monkeys, though that could be why High-SE and tick-bites seem to go hand in hand. *shakes head in disbelief* So there you have it kiddies... this is exactly what boredom and lots of caffeine can do to you... you write infomercials. But then, why would you want to read all this garbage when you could have enjoyed something a bit more soothing like...
1) a punch in the nose
2) another punch in the nose
3) reading a good book
4) not listening
Ok, now I'm done... damn high-se, damn monkeys, damn made-up doctors...heh.
Night
Greg
First lets break down "Self-esteem"
"Self" : Of oneness, being who you are.
"Esteem" : Being of high merit.
Ok, that sounds like good things. So, if you want to be one of good merit, believe in the lies that they told you during school. Take your "self-esteem" (SE) and take it to the monster of the "real world" (yes I have issues with that one too). Your SE will get a royal butt whooping from the "real world." Why you ask, it doesn't care. Seems simple enough, and yet, I find myself walking on eggshells with certain people and can't seem to gain headway because if I hurt their SE, I must be a big ol' bully. Oh, I can see it.
Me(As a big mean bully): Give me your milk money!
SE: No, you are hurting my feelings
Me: Not really, I just want some milk...
SE: You are making me feel bad
Me: Why?
SE: I'm going to have low esteem now!
Me: Umm... ok...
SE: STOP IT!!! STOP IT!!!
Me: *blinks*
SE: *cries*
Recess Lady: Why is "Self-Esteem" crying?
Me: I just asked if I could borrow his milk money...
SE: *Still crying* HE WAS HURTING MY FEELINGS
Me: I just...
RL: Come with me young man... *drags me by my ear*
See? This is just one event, and many more are happening with our "adult" world. Here is a testimony of a young man who hasn't had good SE, ever. "I never had high self-esteem... I'd always be the one that got picked on, by those with the high esteem, and well, [those with high SE] got me mad. Then I became the richest man in the world and have a house that adjusts to my whims." ~ Bill Gates. See, this low-life had low-SE and where did it get him? Billions of dollars! I think we should encourage low-SE or NO-SE, and ban dangerous strains of High-SE. Another case study...
Person A: I have HIGH-SE! *goes to booze up*
-ten minutes later-
Person A: I goin togo drife, secause I *hick* hafe good-esheem
*crashes*
Sad, that poor person with high-SE must not of known the risks of drinking and driving. If only he could have could have had normal esteem or low-SE would he have known that it's dangerous. *sighs* Lets go to the our local expert on the other dangers of High-SE, Doctor?
Random Dr. : High-SE or High Self-Esteem can cause colon cancer, bleeding from the ears, stubby knees, hair on your knuckles, blindness, baldness, near-sightedness, far sightedness, dry-mouth and vomiting.
Me: *nods*
Random Dr. : It is also the leading cause of Breast cancer, AIDS, and can cause erectile dysfunction in both males and females. It's really devastating, when someone has High-SE. The worst part is, it's really contagious. Once a member of your family has High-SE, shun them like a leper. Send them to a camp where they can learn that their feelings can be misguided like the rest of us, and that it is ok to hate yourself a little.
Me: Wow, I didn't know that it was contagious, Dr. Could you tell me how one gets High -SE?
Random Dr. : Well Greg, it originates from lobbyists who thought that "feeling good about ones self" means a hell of a lot more than the feelings of others. This lead to many debates on selfishness, but since we know congress and they know selfishness, they passed a number of acts, laws and even scriptures that lead to our most beguiling cases of High-SE today.
Me: I know you've mentioned the camps, are there other ways to steer clear of those with High-SE?
Random Dr. : Good question, I'd have to think that our own self-loathing and consensus of depression, makes most anyone susceptible to High-SE, but the best way to avoid High-SE, is to stay away from schools, lawyers, politicians, teachers, social activists, and monkeys.
Me: Monkeys?
Random Dr. : Yes, the lobbyist who brought this "Self-esteem issue" to light was in-fact a monkey.
Me: Well that's all the time we have for today, please join us next time...
Those damn monkeys! I find it hard to believe that all this was started by monkeys, though that could be why High-SE and tick-bites seem to go hand in hand. *shakes head in disbelief* So there you have it kiddies... this is exactly what boredom and lots of caffeine can do to you... you write infomercials. But then, why would you want to read all this garbage when you could have enjoyed something a bit more soothing like...
1) a punch in the nose
2) another punch in the nose
3) reading a good book
4) not listening
Ok, now I'm done... damn high-se, damn monkeys, damn made-up doctors...heh.
Night
Greg