It's not a onesie!

[elschmo]

I JUST GOT HOME FROM CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR, AND I HAVE SO. MANY. FEELINGS.

BE WARNED: LOTS AND LOTS OF CAPS AHEAD. I'll try to break it up with sentence-case thoughts.

I’ll be putting everything under a cut because spoiler tags aren’t playing nice today. Obviously, this means unmarked spoilers. Read at your own risk!

1. TEAM BLACK PANTHER. I have been enamoured with T'Challa since The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes, and FUCK ME, HE DELIVERED SO WELL. I overheard Sis #2 say that he was "annoying". UGH. HEATHEN. HEATHEN!
   
   
2. I'm on Team Cap. You know that, my colleagues know that, the whole world knows that. But after a certain point, I felt like he - or the film itself - lost sight of what his side was fighting for. It became less about pushing whatever ideologies he held about the Sokovia Accords and more about "BUCKY'S INNOCENT, GUYS! STOP BULLYING MY BEST FRIEND, GUYS!" He was irrational and reckless, and the consequences of his actions kind of furthered Team Iron Man's case. And admittedly, I did feel myself aligning with Tony at some points of the film. And for that - kudos to the filmmakers for making this not as black and white as the damn source material did. (I reread it on Thursday, and holy shit, it was the furthest thing from impartial.)
   
   
3. THE AIRPORT SCENE WAS THE BEST. ANT-MAN AND SPIDER-MAN MADE THAT SCENE. AND NOW THAT WE'RE ON THE TOPIC OF SPIDER-MAN, I DID NOT EXPECT TO LIKE HIM AS MUCH AS I ENDED UP DOING. THE CHARACTERISATION FELT SO RIGHT. AND THANK FUCK THIS MEANS WE'RE NOT GOING TO GET ANOTHER ORIGIN FILM.
   
   
4. WANDA. MY BB. I'm so glad that she didn't die because there were rumours floating around that she might or does. I didn't need to be let down some more after how she was made to be the inciting incident for the Sokovia Accords.
   
   
5. I NEED MORE OF SAM AND BUCKY BEING BROS. THEIR OFF-SCREEN CHEMISTRY TRANSLATES SO WELL.
   
   
6. Speaking of chemistry … yeah, I'm going to pretend that Steve and Sharon's kiss didn't happen, because it was BULL. Their "chemistry" was as dull as dishwater. There was no build-up to their relationship whatsoever, and it felt like borderline fan-service. Also, now that we know that Sharon's related to Peggy, it just adds a rather gross layer to their relationship. And well, Sharon continues to be extra. Barring her connection to the CIA that helps Steve locate Bucky, her presence just seems to fill the obligatory "love interest" role.
   
   
7. I LOVED THAT WANDA CALLS VISION "VIZ" AND SHE TELLS HIM THAT SHE'S TOLD HIM BEFORE NOT TO PHASE INTO HER ROOM. Their friendship - I daren't label it a relationship at this juncture - GIVES ME LIFE. I can't help but feel that Vision downing Rhodey instead of Sam was his way of showing his atonement for how his side had treated Wanda, AND IF YES, YASSS. (I don't remember if Rhodey hit Wanda? If he did, it could also be possible that Vision did so in retaliation, and OH, MY GOD, HE'S DEVELOPING FEELINGS AND BECOMING MORE HUMAN. THIS IS TOO MUCH TO PROCESS.) I loved their little bonding session and how Vision was all, "We can order a pizza?" before he ruined the moment by revealing that he was pretty much tasked with keeping Wanda under surveillance. Looking back, I wanted a shot of Vision visiting Wanda while she was imprisoned. It won't make narrative sense, but I don't care - I just want more scenes of them together!
   
   
8. ZEMO. Like T'Challa, I've been a fan of Zemo since The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes. (I was so pleased when he turned out to be one of the main cast in the latest Avengers: Standoff! storyline.) I was concerned about his role because he's never showed up in any promotional material (and with good reason, as I now realise) and also because I'd heard that he's another victim of whatever that neuters Marvel villains whose name isn't Loki. (And, ugh, as much as I hate to admit it, Wilson Fisk.) FORTUNATELY, MY FEARS WERE ALLAYED, and I cannot express how relieved I am for that. I'm going to be honest: I am a little upset that his origin was rewritten and that he isn't rocking his trademark look of the purple cowl and cape. However, I doubt the latter would translate well on-screen, especially considering the more "realistic" and "technological" approach the Marvel Cinematic Universe has adopted. More importantly, I AM SICK OF EVERYTHING BOILING DOWN TO HYDRA SHENANIGANS. Most importantly, perhaps, I love me a somewhat damaged villain.
   
   Okay, seriously speaking, I liked that he wasn't some bombastic villain with delusions of grandeur - and the same ol' same ol' desire to take over the world. And he did achieve what he set out to do, AND he didn't die, which are both accomplishments that he should be proud of, considering his predecessors. (JUSTICE FOR STRUCKER.) I loved, loved, loved the scene between him and T'Challa at the end. That short exchange added so much depth to their characters. I was prepared to go on a rampage if Zemo succeeded in killing himself. Thankfully, to the relief of everyone around me, THAT DID NOT HAPPEN, and who do I have to thank for that? T'CHALLA. AAARGH. I LOVE THEM BOTH SO MUCH.
   
   Furthermore, their talk about vengeance at the end ties some of the film's threads together very nicely. I said above that the film becomes a little muddled toward the second half about accountability vs. freedom (what are Clint's and Scott's reason(s) for joining Team Cap?). Looking back, it makes a lot more sense now that the film has this thematic shift from the conflict stemming from ideological positions to the conflict being built from and entangled in the need for vengeance.
   
   
9. HAWKEYE WAS NOT USELESS.
   
   
10. TONY STANK.
    
    
11. Let's talk the ending - and how it encapsulated how good of a job the filmmakers did at making this as objective as possible, because ZEMO WON. In spite of all the trouble Steve's gone through in an attempt to clear Bucky's name, the latter would still rather return to being frozen. Steve's now gone underground, and the Avengers are fractured as fuck. Besides Rhodey, Tony has no one else, and in spite of Steve's little letter at the end, I don't think that that's going to do much in paving a path of forgiveness. (It's hard to recover from the fact that someone whom you thought was your friend was this close to decapitating you and doesn't have the excuse of "I was brainwashed!", you know?) I'm so glad that this didn't return to the status quo at the end, and I'm even MORE glad that Tony and Steve didn't work together in the end to bring Zemo down, unlike what happened in that piece of trash Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice. I was going to pitch a fit because it did seem like it was headed that way until Zemo played the tape of the Starks' murder, and you then see the betrayal and anger light up Tony's face …
    
    
12. I made fun of the "I'm sorry, Tony, but he's my friend" / "So was I" exchange because Tony sounded so sad and angst-ridden when his line was said in the trailer. Knowing the context in which he said it now, though, lends it an even stronger emotional impact. He's not saying it because he's upset about Steve being a big meaniepants - he's saying it because he's pissed and incredulous about Steve lying to him and Steve continuing to defend the person who murdered a good, mutual friend in cold blood. HOWARD RECOGNISED BUCKY!
    
    
13. It boggles the mind how Dominic Cooper ages into John Slattery. I just don't see the resemblance.
    
    
14. The point of Martin Freeman's character was …
    
    
15. Peggy's funeral was a lot shorter than I thought it would be. And you know, returning to my point about Steve and Sharon, it's hella gross that her funeral was used as a backdrop for their "growing relationship". Ugh.
    
    
16. The fight scenes are just lovely. Clean, yet entertaining.
    
    
17. I really, really enjoyed Tony's character in this. It was nice to see this other side of him after being overexposed to the rather one-note characterisation of him as snarky and hedonistic as a result of his past couple of film outings.
    
    
18. I need to watch this again, basically.