Things you learn in life...
... keep three things within reach of your bed: a knife, a gun and a bottle of pills.
... never play with explosives.
... a rapier is to be held straight for the thrust, while a sabre is meant to be held with a loose wrist for the cut.
... guns jam.
... an elbow, brought down hard the _right_ way, breaks.
... running is always an option.
... jumping is also an option.
... there is always someone watching.
... you cry in your sleep embarassingly often.
... more white hair than your parents mean a lifestyle change is needed.
... a butterfly knife _looks_ impressive when you do that flicking act. Get a straight blade instead.
... kicking a knee in the _right_ way cripples a man for life.
... dog bites are not that painful. It's the way they wring their heads. Let them bite, grab the neck and bring down your foot. Hard.
... kittens can survive being run over by a car. For as long as thirty minutes.
... anything can kill a man.
... an overdose is only succesful if you tell somebody not to bother you for the next twenty four hours.
... that and you overdose on the _right_ stuff.
... there is such a thing as recoil.
... use shotguns when you can't aim and you're in a narrow space.
... 'bulletproof' does not make you invincible.
... cut horizontally, not vertically.
... you can find the oddest books in the attic.
... do _not_ play with explosives.
o
... you get lonely.
... laughter helps hide the fear.
... sometimes, ghosts are not that bad.
... your watch on Tokyo time does not mean you _are_ in Tokyo.
... it takes a good solid ten minutes to drown an oxygen-breathing mammal dead. Keep your head away from the limbs.
... blood stains. Burn it.
... they are not called pirates for nothing.
... drugs are not for recreation. Use them only for religious or medical purposes.
... prepare to be disappointed.
... bruised tender parts need medical lotion or something.
... dissections are the times when you talk about dinner plans.
... libraries are nice.
... there is a reason for fairytales. We need happy endings.
... romance is dead, by a shotgun to the head.
... poetry is best done at night, at work, alone.
... parents are there to irritate you about your lovelife or lack thereof.
... the smuggled machineguns are _underneath_ the old vacuum cleaners behind the tarpaulin.
... the sobs from downstairs is from your father doing his job.
... the sobs from downstairs is from your mother doing her job.
... everything breaks. Just apply pressure.
... computers get old. Screaming at them will not fix them
... going dateless to senior prom is better if you have your friends with you.
... the diamond is fake.
... Keyzer Soze is -
... the boat sinks and Jack dies in the end.
... English is your mother tongue, whatever nationality you are.
... the sobs from downstairs is from you doing your job.
... you were born too late and a thousand miles short for the Regency.
... people can hang themselves from as low a height as four feet.
... forensics and criminology is not a hobby. It's a way of life.
... martial arts practice is no substitute for a good life-and-death fight.
... mothers have weird prophetic dreams that involve your lovelife.
... fathers will always have a firearm handy.
... self-defense is a knife, an umbrella and a roll of quarters. No high heels.
... combat boots is daily wear, casual wear and formal wear. Just wear slacks.
... life is weird.
... never play with explosives.
... a rapier is to be held straight for the thrust, while a sabre is meant to be held with a loose wrist for the cut.
... guns jam.
... an elbow, brought down hard the _right_ way, breaks.
... running is always an option.
... jumping is also an option.
... there is always someone watching.
... you cry in your sleep embarassingly often.
... more white hair than your parents mean a lifestyle change is needed.
... a butterfly knife _looks_ impressive when you do that flicking act. Get a straight blade instead.
... kicking a knee in the _right_ way cripples a man for life.
... dog bites are not that painful. It's the way they wring their heads. Let them bite, grab the neck and bring down your foot. Hard.
... kittens can survive being run over by a car. For as long as thirty minutes.
... anything can kill a man.
... an overdose is only succesful if you tell somebody not to bother you for the next twenty four hours.
... that and you overdose on the _right_ stuff.
... there is such a thing as recoil.
... use shotguns when you can't aim and you're in a narrow space.
... 'bulletproof' does not make you invincible.
... cut horizontally, not vertically.
... you can find the oddest books in the attic.
... do _not_ play with explosives.
o
... you get lonely.
... laughter helps hide the fear.
... sometimes, ghosts are not that bad.
... your watch on Tokyo time does not mean you _are_ in Tokyo.
... it takes a good solid ten minutes to drown an oxygen-breathing mammal dead. Keep your head away from the limbs.
... blood stains. Burn it.
... they are not called pirates for nothing.
... drugs are not for recreation. Use them only for religious or medical purposes.
... prepare to be disappointed.
... bruised tender parts need medical lotion or something.
... dissections are the times when you talk about dinner plans.
... libraries are nice.
... there is a reason for fairytales. We need happy endings.
... romance is dead, by a shotgun to the head.
... poetry is best done at night, at work, alone.
... parents are there to irritate you about your lovelife or lack thereof.
... the smuggled machineguns are _underneath_ the old vacuum cleaners behind the tarpaulin.
... the sobs from downstairs is from your father doing his job.
... the sobs from downstairs is from your mother doing her job.
... everything breaks. Just apply pressure.
... computers get old. Screaming at them will not fix them
... going dateless to senior prom is better if you have your friends with you.
... the diamond is fake.
... Keyzer Soze is -
... the boat sinks and Jack dies in the end.
... English is your mother tongue, whatever nationality you are.
... the sobs from downstairs is from you doing your job.
... you were born too late and a thousand miles short for the Regency.
... people can hang themselves from as low a height as four feet.
... forensics and criminology is not a hobby. It's a way of life.
... martial arts practice is no substitute for a good life-and-death fight.
... mothers have weird prophetic dreams that involve your lovelife.
... fathers will always have a firearm handy.
... self-defense is a knife, an umbrella and a roll of quarters. No high heels.
... combat boots is daily wear, casual wear and formal wear. Just wear slacks.
... life is weird.