more plagiarism
They did not bear back Elrond Peredhil son of Earendil to Imladris, and instead left him on Cerin Amroth to attract tourists. Elrond II went to Lothlorien walking slow. There he set his arms about Elrond, and kissed him, bidding him to await him beyond the Western Sea; and he looked upon his eyes ere the spirit left him. But the starlight was quenched and darkness had fallen even upon Elrond the Clone. Thus ended the Quest of the Couch; but the Lay of Television, Release from Infomercials, does not end.
For the spirit of Elrond at his clone's bidding tarried in the halls of Mandos, unwilling to leave the world or his mother, until II came to say his last farewell upon the dim shores of the Outer Sea, whence couch-potato Elves that die set out never to return. But the spirit of II fell down into darkness, and at the last it fled, and his body lay like a flower that is suddenly cut off and lies for awhile unwithered and kind of fat on the grass.
Then a winter, as it were the hoar age of mortal Men, fell upon Celebrian. But II came to the halls of Mandos, where are the appointed places of the Eldalie, beyond the mansions of the West upon the confines of the world. There those that wait sit in the shadow of their thought. But his girth was more than their girth, and his sorrow deeper than their sorrows; and he knelt before Mandos and sang to him.
The song of II was the song least fair that ever in words was woven, and the song most distressing that the world will ever hear. Unchanged, imperishable, it is still banned in Valinor beyond the hearing of the world, and if the Valar hear it they are grieved. For Elrond II sang a cover of 'With or Without You' with Gil-galad accompanying him on the cowbell. And as he knelt before him his tears fell upon his feet like rain upon the stones; and Mandos was moved to revulsion, who never before registered emotion, and promised II anything if he would but stop.
Therefore he summoned El Rond, and even as II had spoken in the hour of his death they met again beyond the Western Sea. But Mandos had no power to withhold the spirits of couch potatoes tht were dead within the confines of the world, after their time of waiting, nor could he change the fates of the Children of Iluvatar. Therefore II blackmailed him with photos of his 80's mullet phase.
Then Mandos said that II might return to Middle-earth and take I with him, there to dwell again. This gift they accepted, forsaking the halls of Mandos and putting aside all wishes for death induced by their squirrel-fucker-fucking daughter; that thus whatever grief might lie in wait, the fates of Elrond I and Elrond II might be joined, and their paths lead together beyond the confines of the world.
It is said that El Rond and II returned to the northern lands of Middle-earth, and dwelt together for a time as living elf and clone; along with their wife and children. And Saruman. And Denethor. And their androgynous servant. And the squirrel fucker. And that hat-wearing freak. The end.
I see you've all been busy mourning me.
Or you would be if my name was BOROMIR.
For the spirit of Elrond at his clone's bidding tarried in the halls of Mandos, unwilling to leave the world or his mother, until II came to say his last farewell upon the dim shores of the Outer Sea, whence couch-potato Elves that die set out never to return. But the spirit of II fell down into darkness, and at the last it fled, and his body lay like a flower that is suddenly cut off and lies for awhile unwithered and kind of fat on the grass.
Then a winter, as it were the hoar age of mortal Men, fell upon Celebrian. But II came to the halls of Mandos, where are the appointed places of the Eldalie, beyond the mansions of the West upon the confines of the world. There those that wait sit in the shadow of their thought. But his girth was more than their girth, and his sorrow deeper than their sorrows; and he knelt before Mandos and sang to him.
The song of II was the song least fair that ever in words was woven, and the song most distressing that the world will ever hear. Unchanged, imperishable, it is still banned in Valinor beyond the hearing of the world, and if the Valar hear it they are grieved. For Elrond II sang a cover of 'With or Without You' with Gil-galad accompanying him on the cowbell. And as he knelt before him his tears fell upon his feet like rain upon the stones; and Mandos was moved to revulsion, who never before registered emotion, and promised II anything if he would but stop.
Therefore he summoned El Rond, and even as II had spoken in the hour of his death they met again beyond the Western Sea. But Mandos had no power to withhold the spirits of couch potatoes tht were dead within the confines of the world, after their time of waiting, nor could he change the fates of the Children of Iluvatar. Therefore II blackmailed him with photos of his 80's mullet phase.
Then Mandos said that II might return to Middle-earth and take I with him, there to dwell again. This gift they accepted, forsaking the halls of Mandos and putting aside all wishes for death induced by their squirrel-fucker-fucking daughter; that thus whatever grief might lie in wait, the fates of Elrond I and Elrond II might be joined, and their paths lead together beyond the confines of the world.
It is said that El Rond and II returned to the northern lands of Middle-earth, and dwelt together for a time as living elf and clone; along with their wife and children. And Saruman. And Denethor. And their androgynous servant. And the squirrel fucker. And that hat-wearing freak. The end.
I see you've all been busy mourning me.
Or you would be if my name was BOROMIR.