[Fanfic] The End is Our Salvation
Title: The End is Our Salvation (alternatively known as Ed Wants Hugs)
Author: michechu
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Fluff
Summary: This is my headcanon reasoning for why Ed and Al didn't hug in the movie. This is a stream of consciousness piece, so the wording may be a little awkward.
Edward wasn't one for public displays of affection.
No one knew that better than Alphonse. So it didn't surprise him when, after being reunited for the first time in Munich, Edward didn't respond to the embrace that Al simply couldn't hold back. Ed used the hard edges of his armor as an excuse, but Al knew-- people were looking, and Ed couldn't stand it when people he didn't trust saw him when he was vulnerable. Ed was always like that, Al thought, even when they were children and there was no reason to guard their emotions so ferociously.
Al didn't miss the look Ed gave him when he finally released his brother from an iron grip. It almost broke his heart, that look-- soft and sad and full of intense longing. It was as if Edward had been trudging through the desert for days and he was looking at the first drop of water in a long time, only he couldn't-- wouldn't-- drink it.
The second time they met, deep beneath Central, Al didn't try to hug his brother again. He saw the discomfiture on Ed's face as Winry nearly squeezed the life out of him in her excitement, and his arms stayed stubbornly at his sides. It was only because it was Winry that Ed didn't try to pull away, though Al could see he was fighting the urge to do just that, to retain his composure and protect his dignity.
When Ed's eyes finally met his over Winry's shoulder, Al had to choke back a gasp. The same look passed over Ed's face the second he laid eyes on Al-- Al in his own body, not steel and leather but flesh and blood-- but Ed's eyes were so much more intense now, like he was drowning and burning alive all at the same time. Ed's fingers twitched minutely, and Al fought back the tears.
I want to hold you too, brother. For the first time in so long, I want to be in your arms.
Only Al hadn't known then exactly how long it had been since they'd last been able to touch. It rushed back to him like a bolt of electricity as they passed through the gate, and suddenly Al's mind was filled with memory upon memory until he couldn't take the pressure anymore.
When Al regained consciousness, he heard an unfamiliar voice say, "Why, Ed? Why did you come back?"
Then his brother-- his brother! Al felt a surge of elation so strong that it drove him to dizziness, now able to fully appreciate the enormity of what he had finally regained-- Ed was speaking quietly, his voice bitter and hollow. "Why, I wonder?"
"To destroy the gate, right, brother?"
It seemed ridiculously inappropriate to be so happy. Their home had been attacked, so many people had died, but all Al could see at that moment was the spark of awe and love and life in Ed's eyes when he emerged from the armor.
Still, Ed maintained his distance. He was careful never to stand too close, always mindful of where he was in relation to Al while they destroyed the gate. Al didn't mind. He could wait, he thought, just a little while longer.
And it wasn't much longer, in fact. Ed handled his affairs quickly and efficiently-- and, in the case of his dead friend, solemnly. Ed told him about the man who died while they walked to the apartment, of the other Al and his sacrifice, and while Al wasn't religious, he couldn't help but send a silent prayer to the man who helped return his brother to him.
Noah parted ways with them just before they reached the apartment, murmuring something about visiting a friend. Al was thankful for her absence-- Ed had been glancing at him the entire time they were walking, sometimes yearningly, sometimes in wonder, and at least once with an emotion that Al couldn't identify.
They walked the rest of the way in silence, and for Al's part, he thought it may have been shock that robbed him of the ability to speak. Ed was less than two feet away from him. Ed, who died, who disappeared, and who Al had literally searched to the end of the world to find. The proximity shivered through his veins, and his nerves were on end in anticipation.
Touch me.
The wait was torturuous but sweet as they climbed the stairs, Al just a step behind his brother. Al relished it, every tense moment before they entered the apartment only serving to whet his appetite until it was sharp and almost painful.
The door barely had time to close behind them before Al felt himself being slammed against it, and all of a sudden Ed was wrapped around him, arms looped around his waist and his face buried in the crook of Al's neck. It set every sensitive nerve in Al's body on fire, and he found himself clutching at Ed just to maintain his balance.
Ed was shaking, Al realized with alarm, and a low, piteous moan slid past his brother's lips and found a home on Al's neck. Al shivered, both at the sound and the sensation of moist breath against his skin, and the response was almost Pavlovian in nature-- he was instantly consumed with the urge to stroke, to comfort, to soothe, and so he turned his head just slightly to press a kiss to his brother's cheek.
Only he missed, the kiss landing just beneath Ed's jaw, and Al felt Ed's heart speed up from the pulse point beneath his lips.
Ed growled lowly but said nothing about the miscalculation. Instead, he tightened his grip and returned the kiss, lightly brushing his lips over Al's neck. "I missed you, Al."
Al gasped, then smiled, his hand coming up to stroke Ed's hair. "I missed you too, brother."
A/N: I seem to like cutting things off before they can raise the rating, huh? This was originally meant to be an NC-17 fanfic which would have ended with Ed screwing Al into the floorboards, but I let myself get distracted by another project and...well, I just never got around to finishing this one. I figured this ending was sufficient.
Also, if anyone's interested and has the time, I'm looking for a beta-reader (or a co-author) for an AU Elricest fic that I'm working on. By AU, I mean it doesn't take place anywhere in the FMA timeline/world at all, so I'm not sure how that's going to go over-- but if you're interested, let me know.
Author: michechu
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Fluff
Summary: This is my headcanon reasoning for why Ed and Al didn't hug in the movie. This is a stream of consciousness piece, so the wording may be a little awkward.
Edward wasn't one for public displays of affection.
No one knew that better than Alphonse. So it didn't surprise him when, after being reunited for the first time in Munich, Edward didn't respond to the embrace that Al simply couldn't hold back. Ed used the hard edges of his armor as an excuse, but Al knew-- people were looking, and Ed couldn't stand it when people he didn't trust saw him when he was vulnerable. Ed was always like that, Al thought, even when they were children and there was no reason to guard their emotions so ferociously.
Al didn't miss the look Ed gave him when he finally released his brother from an iron grip. It almost broke his heart, that look-- soft and sad and full of intense longing. It was as if Edward had been trudging through the desert for days and he was looking at the first drop of water in a long time, only he couldn't-- wouldn't-- drink it.
The second time they met, deep beneath Central, Al didn't try to hug his brother again. He saw the discomfiture on Ed's face as Winry nearly squeezed the life out of him in her excitement, and his arms stayed stubbornly at his sides. It was only because it was Winry that Ed didn't try to pull away, though Al could see he was fighting the urge to do just that, to retain his composure and protect his dignity.
When Ed's eyes finally met his over Winry's shoulder, Al had to choke back a gasp. The same look passed over Ed's face the second he laid eyes on Al-- Al in his own body, not steel and leather but flesh and blood-- but Ed's eyes were so much more intense now, like he was drowning and burning alive all at the same time. Ed's fingers twitched minutely, and Al fought back the tears.
I want to hold you too, brother. For the first time in so long, I want to be in your arms.
Only Al hadn't known then exactly how long it had been since they'd last been able to touch. It rushed back to him like a bolt of electricity as they passed through the gate, and suddenly Al's mind was filled with memory upon memory until he couldn't take the pressure anymore.
When Al regained consciousness, he heard an unfamiliar voice say, "Why, Ed? Why did you come back?"
Then his brother-- his brother! Al felt a surge of elation so strong that it drove him to dizziness, now able to fully appreciate the enormity of what he had finally regained-- Ed was speaking quietly, his voice bitter and hollow. "Why, I wonder?"
"To destroy the gate, right, brother?"
It seemed ridiculously inappropriate to be so happy. Their home had been attacked, so many people had died, but all Al could see at that moment was the spark of awe and love and life in Ed's eyes when he emerged from the armor.
Still, Ed maintained his distance. He was careful never to stand too close, always mindful of where he was in relation to Al while they destroyed the gate. Al didn't mind. He could wait, he thought, just a little while longer.
And it wasn't much longer, in fact. Ed handled his affairs quickly and efficiently-- and, in the case of his dead friend, solemnly. Ed told him about the man who died while they walked to the apartment, of the other Al and his sacrifice, and while Al wasn't religious, he couldn't help but send a silent prayer to the man who helped return his brother to him.
Noah parted ways with them just before they reached the apartment, murmuring something about visiting a friend. Al was thankful for her absence-- Ed had been glancing at him the entire time they were walking, sometimes yearningly, sometimes in wonder, and at least once with an emotion that Al couldn't identify.
They walked the rest of the way in silence, and for Al's part, he thought it may have been shock that robbed him of the ability to speak. Ed was less than two feet away from him. Ed, who died, who disappeared, and who Al had literally searched to the end of the world to find. The proximity shivered through his veins, and his nerves were on end in anticipation.
Touch me.
The wait was torturuous but sweet as they climbed the stairs, Al just a step behind his brother. Al relished it, every tense moment before they entered the apartment only serving to whet his appetite until it was sharp and almost painful.
The door barely had time to close behind them before Al felt himself being slammed against it, and all of a sudden Ed was wrapped around him, arms looped around his waist and his face buried in the crook of Al's neck. It set every sensitive nerve in Al's body on fire, and he found himself clutching at Ed just to maintain his balance.
Ed was shaking, Al realized with alarm, and a low, piteous moan slid past his brother's lips and found a home on Al's neck. Al shivered, both at the sound and the sensation of moist breath against his skin, and the response was almost Pavlovian in nature-- he was instantly consumed with the urge to stroke, to comfort, to soothe, and so he turned his head just slightly to press a kiss to his brother's cheek.
Only he missed, the kiss landing just beneath Ed's jaw, and Al felt Ed's heart speed up from the pulse point beneath his lips.
Ed growled lowly but said nothing about the miscalculation. Instead, he tightened his grip and returned the kiss, lightly brushing his lips over Al's neck. "I missed you, Al."
Al gasped, then smiled, his hand coming up to stroke Ed's hair. "I missed you too, brother."
A/N: I seem to like cutting things off before they can raise the rating, huh? This was originally meant to be an NC-17 fanfic which would have ended with Ed screwing Al into the floorboards, but I let myself get distracted by another project and...well, I just never got around to finishing this one. I figured this ending was sufficient.
Also, if anyone's interested and has the time, I'm looking for a beta-reader (or a co-author) for an AU Elricest fic that I'm working on. By AU, I mean it doesn't take place anywhere in the FMA timeline/world at all, so I'm not sure how that's going to go over-- but if you're interested, let me know.