[fic] State of Mind - Chapter Seven

[elric_ward]

Reality was beckoning, but Ward was finding it difficult to drag himself out of sleep’s grasp. He had been dreaming of warm comfort and hands grooming his hair. It was such a lovely feeling, he didn’t want to leave it but the cold morning air was fluttering against his closed eyes. Sighing, he opened them and looked around. It was such a nice

Comments

[deepgreen18]

Ooh, shiny new chapter! I don't understand why you have a problem writing Sting. Is he too random for you? He seemed very lucid in this section. Almost sane...except for the pack offer and his dead Hawkeye telling him to do stuff. I was surprised at his restraint, he seemed so eager to kill him at their first meeting and very hungry in this one. That Hawkeye must have been impressive to keep him in line post-mortem!

I was also surprised at the roasted bunnies. Ward's plan kinda worked! Sting must have very good control over his fire to not char the poor rabbits to dust.

I sense conflict on the horizon...Sting wants Ward, and so does Fons, how will this play out? Ward is much more likely to go for Fons, in my opinion, because he sorta gets to be in charge, plus free love and affection, and gets to learn how to survive. The pack offers similar things, but doesn't cater to the (freaking huge and hypersensitive) Edward ego he's showing off here. I honestly am rooting for Fons, but it they both join the pack...I don't know, it could work.

Eee, that hunting season article makes me scared. This is a survival fic that's incorporating all the possible threats: The outdoors, human tourists, predators, general ignorance, and now hunters!

Small quibble: he Elric stifled a chuckle as he lowered himself some more. Oh delicious bunnies, you will be his. That last bit: "his" felt wrong. He's talking to himself, yeah? So "mine" would probably make more sense.

[elric_ward]

I think he is just difficult and I spend a lot of time thinking about what he'd say, how he'd say it and reminding myself that he's a smug bastard sometimes, but not always D: too much thinking!

Yus! It is open season outside Amestris! They had better stay inside the park! :D

I see what you mean :D He is meant to be chatting just a little to himself