(no subject)
When we met up last year, HH told me that "work makes me realise how depraved i am". i didn't understand, but now i can see how making certain choices could lead me down another path and change me irrevocably. when i think about SS, i realise and have come face to face with my snobbishness (i rationalise to myself that it's not as bad as those who have their noses in the air and look down on everyone, but i'm not doing myself a favour if i continue to think that way), and other traits i dislike.
after all, sin is sin no matter what. i've been falling short especially in not sinning in my anger, not loving people the way Christ loves them and me, being short-tempered with dad, and having double standards when it comes to things like ze ou tiao jian. Having a forgiving God makes everything softer, less hopeless.
i've been having fatalistic, unprofitable thoughts. it's hard to love God and trust Him fully again after those incidents in the past few years. i long to live a life loving God and surrendering to His will and following His Word again, but i've been too scarred, and am still waiting for God to work with me to tear down the barriers. he hasn't so far, maybe He expects me to take a leap of faith? :(
God, please be my shield, my glory and the lifter of my head.
i have to take the convocation photos soon before i don't look like i do anymore - women age each year significantly, i've realised. go to the places i wanna go and get a friend who's free for the day to do the shots, with my parents.
there are so many things i wish for.
after all, sin is sin no matter what. i've been falling short especially in not sinning in my anger, not loving people the way Christ loves them and me, being short-tempered with dad, and having double standards when it comes to things like ze ou tiao jian. Having a forgiving God makes everything softer, less hopeless.
i've been having fatalistic, unprofitable thoughts. it's hard to love God and trust Him fully again after those incidents in the past few years. i long to live a life loving God and surrendering to His will and following His Word again, but i've been too scarred, and am still waiting for God to work with me to tear down the barriers. he hasn't so far, maybe He expects me to take a leap of faith? :(
God, please be my shield, my glory and the lifter of my head.
i have to take the convocation photos soon before i don't look like i do anymore - women age each year significantly, i've realised. go to the places i wanna go and get a friend who's free for the day to do the shots, with my parents.
there are so many things i wish for.